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Welcome to OOTS - New Members Please Start Here => New Members => Introductory Post => Topic started by: Graycen on October 09, 2018, 08:58:37 PM

Title: That sole survivor feeling..
Post by: Graycen on October 09, 2018, 08:58:37 PM
I'm very glad this forum exists, thank you.  Without getting into the specifics of my family, just wanted to say that it can feel so tiring, feeling like the only survivor of a really bad family situation - as in, my FOO members are still alive but nobody really 'survived' mentally.  It's lonely.
Title: Re: That sole survivor feeling..
Post by: milk on October 09, 2018, 11:09:33 PM
 :hug: me too — ‘survived mentally’ (I like that) from a bad family situation. Sometimes I feel alone because of it and it is always exhausting to engage with them.

About that alone feeling - it’s weird because I don’t miss people who have abused me over and over again without change/understanding of how to be with one another in a healthy way  (a clean break from these people feels really GOOD  —- for me, the grieving comes from the loss of authentic love in the FOO and this triggers an alone feeling —- if there is hope for a connection and its reciprocal then I dont give up  (I  set boundaries and focus on self-care) remaining in the background (nourishing that mental strength) - do you know what I mean?
Title: Re: That sole survivor feeling..
Post by: Three Roses on October 09, 2018, 11:33:51 PM
Welcome! I was comforted and saddened at the same time, finding a community of fellow survivors of abuse. The members here have experienced cptsd-inducing abuse at every age, from childhood experiences to abusive adult relationships.

I hope you find this forum supportive and informative. Thanks for being here.
Title: Re: That sole survivor feeling..
Post by: Dawning007 on November 04, 2018, 07:56:08 PM
I love this: "sole survivor." I can relate--deeply. It's nice being able to share here with others. I wish you very well in your journey.
Title: Re: That sole survivor feeling..
Post by: Kizzie on November 04, 2018, 08:57:45 PM
Welcome to OOTS Graycen  :heythere:   

As a fellow sole (or maybe soul) survivor I agree it really is lonely. Even though some of my FOO are still alive I can't connect with them because they're broken in some fundamentally human way and that's a big loss to live with. Frankly I feel like an orphan.

In my case there is some relief along with the sadness and loneliness because I am out of a family system that was so bad for my mental health.  Although I would dearly love to have the love and connection, instead there is only trauma and I had no choice but to let go.

There are many of us here who can relate to your experience and feelings so I hope OOTS is helpful  :yes: