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Treatment, Self-Help & Recovery => Self-Help & Recovery => General Discussion => Topic started by: Wattlebird on February 03, 2019, 09:16:05 AM

Title: Thinking about myself too much
Post by: Wattlebird on February 03, 2019, 09:16:05 AM
Hi all
I have been struggling with the idea that I have been thinking about myself too much, I spend several hours each night, reading books like the dissociation book, educating myself on my issues and working on my relational and emotional issues, which I've spent a lifetime avoiding, but I've got this nagging worry that I spend too much time inwardly focused, I have gone over it many times considering if I'm neglecting other parts of my life but I don't think I am, I take nights off as well.
I think there is a fear of being too self centred and wanted to hear anyone's thoughts about becoming too wrapped up in yourself and where that limit lay?
Title: Re: Thinking about myself too much
Post by: notalone on February 03, 2019, 07:28:28 PM
For me, the amount of time I need to spend focused on me versus focused on others, changes. It is easier for me to discern when I've spent too much time neglecting myself because I feel the need to get alone. Part of that is because I am an introvert. Sometimes when I reach out to others, it feels good to be helping and thinking of someone else. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and I know I need to draw inward. No easy answers. I think it is an ongoing trial and error.

Are your thoughts that you might be spending too much time thinking about yourself coming from you or is that a message from someone else? (You'll have to look inward to figure that out!   :stars:)
Title: Re: Thinking about myself too much
Post by: SharpAndBlunt on February 04, 2019, 11:19:12 AM
Hi Wattlebird,

I don't know if it sounds strange but, maybe you can listen to your body on this?

I too like to read a lot and soak up the information and learn what is wrong and then try to apply it.

But every so often I get tired and I just want to read fiction and watch rubbish tv and eat and cook a little and just be.

It's not like I am giving up on my recovery when I do that, more that it is time I need to break from it, which is what I meant by listening to the body.

The cptsd and educating myself is still my main focus but sometimes I just have to take a break from that. Seeing nice friends now and again helps a lot even if it is very infrequent.

There is so much to learn and process sometimes it feels like that is the only thing. But if it feels right to you then I say go for it. It you feel you need a break to do something unrelated then do that instead.

It's important I feel not to feel pressured to do what's 'right'. I know for me it has been a long journey to allow myself to do what is good for me. I pressure myself sometimes feeling I should be doing 'another thing'.

At those times I try to listen to my body and to what it is telling me. Usually it is saying 'relax' and it is stress that is bothering me, not my true self. I know the work I need to do on myself is important, crucial in fact. But I also know it is not going away by itself, the things will still be inside, so I try to feel ok about giving myself a break once in a while and even enjoy that if I can.
Title: Re: Thinking about myself too much
Post by: Kizzie on February 04, 2019, 04:41:22 PM
This made me think Wattlebird because I went thru the same thing. I was concerned at first I was being narcissistic actually - coming from a NPD family that was a very real possibility.   :aaauuugh:  Thankfully, it's not that though. 

I think in the beginning we just need to spend a lot of time reflecting on our trauma and inner selves, but as we begin to put the pieces together and process more and more of the trauma that diminishes. Maybe that's what's happening in your case?  :Idunno: