I am finally at a point of trying to sort out my childhood traumas after getting away from a NPD BF. To this day, he still tries to manipulate me and blame me for all our problems. As a child, I was sexually assaulted on many occasions by my brother and another family member. My dad abandoned me when my mother had an accident and was hospitalized for a year. After she got out of the hospital; I spent my childhood raising myself. I am slowly putting pieces of the puzzle together to think that my dad was molesting my brother hence he molested me. My mother got pregnant with me to spite my dad. I was always told I wasnt good enough and wouldnt amount to anything. There are plenty of bits and pieces of memories surfacing and I am trying to learn how to deal with them...what to do with them...
I am sure its going to be a rough journey, but hopefully will be worth it.
Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS SF :wave: I'm glad you found your way here so that you do not have to take your journey to recovery alone. Like many of us, you were left to raise yourself and have likely not had much support and encouragement in your life - until now. I think you will see fairly quickly that members here are willing to offer that, and to share their insights and experiences with CPTSD.
If you haven't already done so, you might want to have a look at Pete Walker's site (http://www.pete-walker.com/) as his writing really resonates with so many of us. He is a therapist in the US who works with clients who have CPTSD and he has it himself, so he is unique in that he sees things from the inside out and the outside in so to speak.
There are lots of forums and resources here so please have a good look around. One note of caution - it can be overwhelming so many of us find that going slowly and taking breaks is helpful, at least initially because what surfaces can be difficult to deal with. :hug:
Hi SF and Welcome :wave:
I understand what it feels like to have to raise yourself; when you can't trust the people who are supposed to care for you. So sorry you've suffered in this way and continue to suffer. Glad you found this place of safety, support and encouragement. You don't have to go it alone anymore - that's the beauty of this place. :hug: