On the subject of toxic shame I can really recommend the Embodied Trauma Conference topic: Shame and Developmental Trauma, by Laurence Heller.
You can watch it till 10 AM Central European Time on Feb. 9th.
I have no idea whether you can register for the conference since it's been running for a few days already, but for those who are already registered, well, I heard alot of interesting stuff.
You are so right, Blueberry. It was really, really excellent.
I sat in bed, with my dog, and listened to it intently. He seemed to explain everything so rationally, that I was left with the feeling that I had been utterly understood and validated.
The link between anger and toxic shame was especially strong for me. It seemed to sum up my whole life. But it also helped me to understand my poor, late husband. I can see now that he had so much anger and shame that he would not deal with, connected to his FOO. He didn't recognise it, and I am so sad that he didn't live longer and get the chance to heal.
This talk really helped me understand, and feel compassion, for myself, my husband, and my adult children. Perhaps even my own NM.
It was very powerful and I am so grateful to this forum for pointing me towards it.
Hugs to you all.
:) :grouphug:
I love that you sat with your dog, Libby! I know that for one of the 3 sessions I watched yesterday, I grabbed the nearest stuffed toy, which happened to be a little dog, to hold and stroke.