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Symptoms => Six Major Symptoms => DR - Disturbed Relationships (eg Social Anxiety, Isolating, Attachment Disorder) => Topic started by: Boatsetsailrose on September 06, 2020, 01:40:55 PM

Title: Feeling alone
Post by: Boatsetsailrose on September 06, 2020, 01:40:55 PM
I'm. Really reaching a stage in my life when not having a partner, my own family, pets is getting me down. I have cfs /fibro too so its v hard to develop consistency to actually get a partner... And who wants to be with some one who spends so much time on the bed!
So many people have lots of close people and some hardly any...
Life seems so unfair at times..
I know there are much worse things happening in the world
Feeling lonely is horrible I really am struggling...
Any thing that helps you with it I appreciate to hear
Title: Re: Feeling alone
Post by: rainydiary on September 06, 2020, 02:33:46 PM
Iíve been feeling alone lately too and notice for me it doesnít even matter if I am around others.  My experiences and how my brain/body work keep me feeling separate. 

I will say this forum has helped a lot.  I can say exactly what is in my mind and donít feel judged for it like I do in other spaces. 
Title: Re: Feeling alone
Post by: sanmagic7 on September 06, 2020, 02:47:43 PM
hey, bssr,

i hear you, and totally get it.  altho i live w/ my d, and have support with her, some of the stuff i'd love to discuss if off limits for her, so that's where my feeling alone comes from.  it's not a good feeling.

just want you to know that we're here w/ you, if it helps at all.  i know it's helped me a lot to come here and share that lonely feeling, and i hope it helps you, too.  hang tough, ok?  i found my last husband when i was 53, wounded, sick, damaged, and he accepted all that.  sometimes fate steps in when we least expect it. 

sending love and a hug filled with support and care. :hug:
Title: Re: Feeling alone
Post by: Boatsetsailrose on September 07, 2020, 10:57:42 AM
Thank you rainy
Thank u San really gives me hope
Title: Re: Feeling alone
Post by: woodsgnome on September 07, 2020, 02:54:24 PM
I grapple with the same feelings on a daily basis, though less than I used to. I live alone, with one elderly cat, but an extremely nice place to be. Back on the negative, I try to reach out, and it often there's maybe an obligatory sort of response,  sometimes there's none -- like no one seems to care. Some weeks only my T sees me, and nowadays that's 'virtual' as well, which has advantages (no travel) and negatives (slightly more impersonal feeling).

And still, I chose this way -- it was my dream to be away from it all. In that sense I succeeded and then some. Things have become more complicated by crippling arthritis, following a botched surgery, and adding that experience on top of the anger that drove me away from people in the first place.

There were breaks in this pattern where I was at least quasi-social, and able to relate to others via creative, artistic-oriented employment, which kept me occupied and brought me closer to others and when I felt overwhelmed I had a place to retreat to.

Well, now it's like the retreat has become my full-time occupation. Yet again there's a balance -- the extensive reading (my fav activity) available via thousands of books as well as the bottomless library called the internet.

I guess what I've slowly learned is to balance my expectations with my ideals. The latter was always paramount and of course it relates to the cptsd part of me that needed escape. Except now that escape has turned into epic proportions called loneliness. The balance is that it's kind of what I wanted, while also not being entirely hermit-like, in the sense that no one is entirely their own island; e.g. I rely on others, whether I know them or not -- grocery people, other suppliers, etc.

I'm sorry if this post is a tad lengthy, but I felt like I needed to explain how it's my perspective about this lonely existence that I've tried to balance as best I can. I'll never be a social gadfly, perhaps, but it sure would be great to have one -- one --solid friend. I know there's people who'd find friendship beneficial too -- but my expectations of this happening I've had to balance by returning to how I came to live this way.

So I guess it's those balanced expectations that keep me going. Perhaps it sounds cheap, but it's what I've found keeps me feeling sane when the 'lonelies' wash over my senses.

I hope you're okay with this distant but heartful  :hug: