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CPTSD and Others => Our Relationships with Others => General Discussion => Topic started by: Gromit on October 06, 2020, 05:25:44 PM

Title: Loneliness
Post by: Gromit on October 06, 2020, 05:25:44 PM
Is this common? I think it probably is.
Walking my dog this morning, as I always do, people do stop, in fact, someone had wound down their car window specifically to speak to me about their dog, and then I carried on walking with another dog walker, who was on their way to meet someone else, with a dog. As it turns out they were meeting someone I know, a mum, whose daughter was in the same primary school class as mine, our daughters had been friends then. Off they went, together.
I went on my normal walk, sometimes I see people and walk with them, or stop and chat sometimes I donít, nothing is pre-arranged as their walk was. No one makes Ďdatesí with me, I donít suppose I make dates with them either, it seems difficult, I fear rejection.

I feel I should be grateful for the people who do want to speak to me, however, briefly. There was one man I used to walk with quite a lot, he even called at our house to show my daughter his new puppy when she was ill. He seems to have changed his walking habits over lock down. However, there is a pattern with my normal walking acquaintances, they are generally male and 70+

Title: Re: Loneliness
Post by: Rainydaze on January 20, 2021, 12:32:09 PM
Walking the dog is such a good way to get some interaction. I'm awful at making and keeping friends and inclined not to do so because it overwhelms me, plus it's a struggle to be 'switched on' and fun enough to encourage people to want to be friendly with me. I'm OK with it and have never felt a need for many friends. When I have had friends I've always coped so much better with just one or two special people rather than juggling a large group. For this reason, when walking it can be really nice to see people and to have a pleasant chat with no expectation of having to make it a regular thing or commit to a friendship. I think it works well because as you say, a lot of people do seem to want to say hi and stop to talk. It does seem to fill a small gap if you're feeling lonely.
Title: Re: Loneliness
Post by: marti.325 on February 06, 2021, 02:22:21 AM
It's hard to see other people making their way in the world, whether with marriage, or friends, or groups, or in their chosen career, when I feel unworthy. But who inflicted that on me? My family system, my parents' inability to love and nurture me when I was totally dependent on them - from infancy through all the developmental stages. At each one I needed them and they weren't there. I was expected to already know, to be "responsible", to just do it without guidance.

It's very sad and I've grieved a lot over what I lost, no, what I never had. A difficult road with lots of  :fallingbricks: and  :stars: and  :Idunno: and  :spooked: AND  :pissed: Yes a LOT of anger. Sigh.