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Welcome to OOTS - New Members Please Start Here => New Members => Introductory Post => Topic started by: tiggerpsych on June 24, 2015, 11:34:53 AM

Title: new to the board
Post by: tiggerpsych on June 24, 2015, 11:34:53 AM
Hi peeps,

I've just come across this board and think it might be helpful in me helping my wife. I hope!

We have been thinking for a long time that she has been suffering from PTSD, however her latest counsellor has suggested that this is not the case and has talked about extreme stress. After a bit of looking around the net we have come across what we think she means - C-PTSD.

a little history

My wife was physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused by her mother and then father figure for the majority of her childhood until she found the courage to run away and became a ward of court.
now - 20+ years later and after lots of counselling (this ongoing) she has found the courage to take her abusers to court and they are facing six (at the moment, though it may increase) charges each. they have plead not guilty hence it is going to crown court imminently. this is bringing on feelings of hopelessness, though at each stage she was expecting things to be dropped by the police and the CPS.

the big thing for me is how to support her. she is becoming more and more insular and is thinking she can hear her abusers when she goes out and is expecting to see them (especially her mother) around each corner. this is despite them living in different counties. From what she has told me about her mother she fits the PCL-R (Psychopathy Checklist) and he has flown through Finklehor's model (used to explore the stages of sexual offending) very efficiently.

whilst there is no definitive diagnosis of C-PTSD for her, looking at the various definitions she fits the majority of the criteria (except alcohol/drug abuse as she wants to remain in control!).

Any help will be greatly received and if people want to know more please ask. I know this is a very quick potted history!

Title: Re: new to the board
Post by: CreativeCat on June 24, 2015, 11:54:36 AM
Hi tiggerpsych

Firstly how awful that your wife had to go through all that and how brave to take them on.

Personally I think what is most important is what makes sense to your wife, whatever anyone else wants to call it.  From my own experience I have known for a while logically that I had CPTSD but it wasn't until experiencing a particularly bad EF recently that I really believed it and felt it and it made total sense to me. before that I've called my experience many things - attachment, stress even autistic tendencies - for me PTSD not sits more comfortably than anything else ever has.

I wish you both strength on your journey in holding these people accountable for their actions.

Title: Re: new to the board
Post by: keepfighting on June 24, 2015, 02:32:58 PM
Hi, tiggerpsych,

nice to meet you on this forum!  :wave:

It is so sad that your wife has had to endure so much in her life. Not fair at all. She sounds like a remarkable woman, facing her demons head on, and it is great that she has you on her side to support her.  :thumbup:

There is a sub-forum here on this forum dedicated to people whose partner has CPTSD. This might be a good place for you to start asking all the questions you might have:

Lovely to have you on board. I hope you and your wife can benefit a little from the information that is available here.
Title: Re: new to the board
Post by: Boatsetsailrose on June 25, 2015, 07:33:43 PM

For me the best way my partner has supported me is to really listen ( he is good at this ) asked questions - not tried to fix me - accept my experience and my limitations and above all love me and give me a cuddle

The safety of love and having a partner who I love and they love me has and is such a blessing and a gift