Music can be so soothing for me. In a whole range of emotions. In fact, sometimes I have a tune in my head, and only when I play the song I know why it's in my head.
So, I'd like to start a thread in which we can post songs to share, or just to remind ourselves of what it means to us.
Happy, sad, inspiring, soothing, opening the floodgates of grief... Anything goes.
If you want and feel like it, share a bit of your story with us.
It's probably superfluous to mention this, as music is one of the few forms of communication that so directly speaks to/touches our emotions, but here it goes:
***probable triggers***
I'll kick of with this song of Rush, the Canadian (prog/symphonic-)rock veterans, still going strong!
I got to know this band in my puberty/adolescense when I became part of a close-knit group of friends. Two of the bunch of 7 or 8 I still see regularly (30 years down the road), and we are dear and close friends. We've shared our ups and downs (there have been more ups, thank heavens ;D ), and already then this song had a great impact on me.
I'm pretty sure quite a few of you can relate to the lyrics: Life is an awkward adventure...
It's my wish that you all find as much comfort in the lyrics as I do, however much they speak of the 'struggle' I'm so familiar with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh5RSv52g6U
"Vital Signs"
Unstable condition
A symptom of life
In mental and environmental change
Atmospheric disturbance
The feverish flux
Of human interface and interchange
The impulse is pure
Sometimes our circuits get shorted
By external interference
Signals get crossed
And the balance distorted
By internal incoherence
A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a mood lifter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to deviate from the norm
An ounce of perception
A pound of obscure
Process information at half speed
Pause, rewind, replay
Warm memory chip
Random sample, hold the one you need
Leave out the fiction
The fact is, this friction
Will only be worn by persistence
Leave out conditions
Courageous convictions
Will drag the dream into existence
A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a soft filter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to elevate from the norm...
Music (and the TV) were my first therapists. I could drown out the world and escape in the lyrics and the melodies. Over the last several years, I have not had time to listen to music or watch TV, go to movies to drown out everything else and fantasize I was somewhere else, someone else. Workaholism consumed me, it was my only mechanism for disassociating and dealing with everything and everyone else around me. I lost all other interests in life, including music, comedy / shows on TV, or movies.
My T suggested that I get back in to listening to music. I did. I found that I like change and to try new things in the world of music and food. I like to experience the sounds and tastes of different cultures. I drive my spouse crazy with it. Anyway, guess I am getting soft as I age as far as listening to music. I started listening to the new music and one that I really related too was One Republic / Songwriter Ryan Tedder. Their CD Dreaming Out Loud is a permanent fixture in my car. I also like Bleachers / Jack Antonoff and Ed Sheeran. All 3 are amazing young song writers but Ryan's lyrics are the ones that I relate to the most.
One of the first things my T told me was that there was not going to be anyone to rescue me, that I had to save myself. So the song Someone to Save You on the Dreaming Out Loud playlist holds a lot of meaning for me in my journey to rediscover myself and to find happiness and joy in life. See the link below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUH-k4E1Cys
LOL, DM :hug:
P.S. - The song Stop and Stare (also on the Dreaming Out Loud) playlist also helps me calm down. It is about anxiety and depression and it helps me feel like there is someone else with me in the same place as I am and that I am not dealing with the same struggle alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPaGvHmi5NA
Thanks for sharing that, DaisyMae :thumbup:
So glad you re-found your appetite for music!
:hug:
A nice soothing pop/jazzy song by Jamie Cullum.
For those moments I'm really happy in my solitude, and know it's OK that way:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLOglnjC6iY
"All At Sea"
I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If only for a day
Just me and my thoughts sailing far away
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
I sleep by myself
I drink on my own
Don't speak to nobody
I gave away my phone
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
Now I need you more than ever, I need you more than ever, now
You don't need it every day
But sometimes don't you just crave
To disappear within your mind
You never know what you might find
So come and spend some time with me
We will spend it all at sea
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
HI Dutch,
I have been out of the music scene for quite some time. I love Jazz and Blues and I have never heard of this guy. This is a great song. I also checked out his version of Pure Imagination. It is amazing. An adult version of the song I used to just close my eyes too and dream that I was far, far away. I will definitely have to download some of his tunes. Thank you for the song and the link!
DaisyMae, ;D
This is awesome.
Made me cry: music unites!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JozAmXo2bDE#t=52
Thank you Dutch Uncle! I love this song and the video is very uplifting, it is awesome to see so many unite.
DM ;D
This is a very special song to me. I can't tell why.
It's in a folder in my music library called "dissonants".
Does it touch a nerve with regard to dissociation?
Does it feed into and/or quench my "cognitive dissonance" ?
I can't tell.
But it touches me deeply.
Soothing in all it's apparent 'disharmony'.
It's instrumental. Just music.
By Duke Ellington (with Charlie Mingus and Max Roach), from 1962, before I was even born.
Fleurette Africaine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGowJd-eJOM
The very first time I heard this song, Bomb the World by Michael Franti, it resonated with me on two levels, first being for the reason it was written - to speak towards peaceful relations between countries. Secondly, it spoke to me of my own judgments toward others and how my actions/reactions created, at the very least, disharmony.
My mantra for a long time was I can bomb the world to pieces but I can't bomb it into peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VILqFtrzBxA
Thanks Dutch Uncle for creating Let's Hear It For The Music! I like it!
This is a great idea!! Thanks Dutch Uncle!! :hug: I love that you like Jamie Cullum too!! I love his work!
I am a singer songwriter and music is a huge part of my life. I haven't produced much of anything lately. Sometimes I have huge creative spurts, sometimes I have writers block for years. But music is where I am safe to take the tragedy in my life and turn it into something beautiful. Its one of my favorite outlets!
Right now, I am in a phase of stemming so much inspiration from so many new, and old artists. I'm in a huge music discovery phase, but I am also in a huge stage of grieving in my life. One year ago, I estranged myself from my birth family due to child abuse. I cry a lot lately, especially when I hear a song that really resonates with my situation and I feel like with symbolisms in music, it opens up room for different interpretations. This song by Ben Harper called Amen Omen, is one of those. I came across it recently, and I found it to be very healing, and relative to my situation and to my healing.
"Amen Omen"
What started as a whisper,
Slowly turned in to a scream.
Searching for an answer
Where the question is unseen.
I don't know where you came from
And I dont know where you've gone.
Old friends become old strangers
Between the darkness and the dawn
Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?
I still hear you saying
"All of life is chance,
And is sweetest,is sweetest when at a glance"
But I live,
I live a hundred lifetimes in a day.
But I die a little
In every breath that I take.
Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?
I listen to a whisper,
Slowly drift away.
Silence is a loudest,
Parting word you never say.
I put I put your world
Into my veins
Now a voiceless sympathy
Is all that remains.
Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?
Amen omen,can i find the strength within
My favorite lyric in this song is:
Silence is a loudest,
Parting word you never say.
I like this video where he performs live with The Innocent Criminals:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vezcynJ3ICU
<3
Lifecrafting and KayFly, thanks for sharing these songs and your associated stories.
Heartwarming! :waveline:
Something I aspire to.
I do have difficulty grasping it though...
But you gotta see this man blow the Horn! ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mtaZ7eoLqs
Devil May Care- by Raul Midón
No blues for me
I'm happy as I can be
I learn to love and to live
Devil may care
No cares and woes
Whatever comes later goes
That's how I'll take and I'll give
Devil may care
When the day is through,
I suffer no regrets
I know that he who frets,
Loses the night
For only a fool,
Dreams he can hold back the dawn
He is wise to never tries to revise
What's past and gone
So live love today, let come tomorrow what may
Don't even stop for a sigh,
It doesn't help when you cry
That's how I live and I'll die
Devil may care
When the day is through,
I suffer no regrets
I know that he who frets,
Loses the night
For only a fool,
Dreams he can hold back the dawn
He is wise to never tries to revise
What's past and gone
So live love today, let come tomorrow what may
Don't even stop for a sigh,
It doesn't help when you cry
That's how I live and I'll die
Devil may care
Writer(s): Bob Dorough, Terrell P.Kirk Jr Copyright: Sincere Music Co.
Haha!! That's crazy Raul Midon can make a perfect horn!! I love his voice and style.
And I love this song he does with Jason Mraz.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TAK5jy0zW_I
Thanks for sharing DutchUncle. This brought me back to some happy memories.
Great song, KayFly.
When you posted Ben Harper's song, It reminded me of this gem, a duet with Vanessa de Mata.
I often cry when I hear this one (I have a weak spot for Portuguese, so that helps as well):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSTWcsU91ZY
Vanessa Da Mata - Boa Sorte (Good Luck) lyrics
(feat. Ben Harper)
É só isso
Não tem mais jeito
Acabou, boa sorte
Não tenho o que dizer
São só palavras
E o que eu sinto
Não mudará
Tudo o que quer me dar
É demais
É pesado
Não há paz
Tudo o que quer de mim
Irreais
Expectativas
Desleais
That's it
There's no way
It's over, good luck
I've nothing left to say
It's only words
And what l feel
Won't change
Tudo o que quer me dar / Everything you want to give me
É demais / It's too much
É pesado / It's heavy
Não há paz / There is no peace
Tudo o que quer de mim / All you want from me
Irreais / Isn't real
Expectativas / Expectations
Desleais
Mesmo se segure
Quero que se cure
Dessa pessoa
Que o aconselha
Há um desencontro
Veja por esse ponto
Há tantas pessoas especiais
Now even if you hold yourself
I want you to get cured
From this person
Who advises you
There is a disconnection
See through this point of view
There are so many special
People in the world
So many special
People in the world
In the world
All you want
All you want
Tudo o que quer me dar / Everything you want to give me
É demais / It's too much
É pesado / It's heavy
Não há paz / There's no peace
Tudo o que quer de mim / All you want from me
Irreais / Isn't real
Expectativas / That expectations
Desleais
Now we're falling
Falling, falling
Falling into the night
Into the night
Falling, falling, falling
Falling into the night
Bom encontro é de dois
Now we're falling
Falling, falling
Falling into the night
Into the night
Falling, falling, falling
Falling into the night
edit: better lyrics, the previous one looked like Cyrillic ;D
DutchUncle,
That is such a beautiful duet. I love the lyrics...All you want from me, Isn't Real, Expectations..
It made me tear up a little bit. Portuguese is really a beautiful language in music.
I want to share this song by Blind Pilot called Half Moon. It's such beautiful writing. Although I am not religious, this song served as like a gospel for me. It makes me ball my eyes out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCuGBYirFQw
"Half Moon"
That morning sky gave me a look
So I left while you were sleeping
That's all it took
And I chalked a line south down the coast
Going where my thirst was open
For the things that I don't know
Going where I wasn't paying
For the hurt that I owe
One half moon sleeping by the creeks
And a woman put me under
Her barn roof for a week
I knew her voice before she spake
I saw a grave dug by a preacher
Just to see what it would make
So hold high have faith your reasons
(Or you'll never get on)
Don't you forget you come from nothing
(Or you'll never get on)
That wind is calling my name
I won't wait or I'll never get on
It's not hard to live like a ghost
I just haunt all that I've wanted
And leave what I don't
I dreamt a trail up to the sky
And my brothers built propellers
Just to see how far they'd fly
So hold high have faith your reasons
(Or you'll never get on)
Your flashing sparrows chasing with them
Don't you forget you come from nothing
(Or you'll never get on)
That wind is calling my name
I won't wait or I'll never get on
That wind is calling my name
I won't wait or I'll never get on
So hold high have faith your reasons
Hold high have faith your reasons
Hold high have faith your reasons
That wind is calling my name
I won't wait or I'll never get on
My favorite lyric is "Don't you forget you come from nothing" :)
Cheers
Wow.
Such beautiful music. :thumbup:
Thanks!
Glad you like them :)
I got inspired to learn that song on my guitar now..
Thanks for sharing your music!
KayFly
I'm so glad you like it, KayFly; if you ever post yourself playing it, I'd love to hear it!
Thanks Lifecrafting :).
I really commend you for putting your own work out there. I am a little over-protective of mine, but I was thinking maybe I will post myself singing some covers that have been helpful in my recovery, or just covers I like to play/sing. Definitely gives me something to work toward and look forward to.
Thanks again for sharing!
Here's a song that made a profound impression on me when I was a kid. Pre-pubecent I'd say, but perhaps is was my first stint at puberty ;) . Dunno.
I was in first grade secondary school (as far as I can remember, could have been the second year), and me and some friends wanted to do something on the yearly "theatrical performances by kids for parents"-evening: Get on stage and imitate/playback a song. So we came together and 'practiced' a few times, and at last decided on this song of "Queen".
Lyrics: (my story continues below)
"Don't Stop Me Now"
Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out Yeah!
I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time
I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me
I'm burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
Don't stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all... yeah!
I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode
I'm burning through the sky Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you
Don't stop me
Don't stop me
Don't stop me
Hey hey hey!
Don't stop me
Don't stop me
Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Don't stop me
Don't stop me
Have a good time, good time
Don't stop me
Don't stop me
Ooh ooh alright
Ooh I'm burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
Don't stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes I'm having a good time)
I don't wanna stop at all
La la la la laaaa
La la la la
La la laa laa laa laaa
La la laa la la la la la laaa hey!!....
Writer(s): Freddie Mercury
Copyright: Queen Music Limited
"Wow!", I thought. I hadn't heard this song before. "What energy! What uncompromised 'lust' (I had no idea what 'lust' was at the time, I was pre-pubescent, remember), what a 'lust for life'. I want to be 'this', this is awesome!"
To this day, this song is a major driving force in my life. Unfortunately, this "Rocket ship on it's way to Mars" has not been traveling through a vacuum, but rather through a thick slush. But anyway...
Here's the video, with an added bonus of the song being performed in mime...
Why that is, is explained in the introduction of the vid.
I hope you enjoy it, I find it hilarious.
*** Trigger warning for the vid: some mime-hints to gender-specific body-parts. PG-13 I'd guess ***
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZwcXYZenX0
Great thread!
This song was on the radio this morning. This is all I ask from anyone.
Sit Down
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRD51qEJ8t4
Here's another Franti tune I so love!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oId40fbUKSs&list=RDoId40fbUKSs#t=3
Thanks for the words of encouragement, KayFly; I find I'm less concerned with expressing myself through poetry, etc. When I don't think about it, I just write so in terms of what is healthy for me, I want to go with that regardless of whether it's "good" or not. Poetry helps me get out of my head and I'm so grateful for that venue!
AHAHHHAHAHAH Dutch Uncle!!! What a hard song to mime! :applause:
"I'm having a ball" Ahahahaha!!
That totally cracked me up. Love it! Thanks for sharing
I'm going to keep watching this David Armand :)
KayFly
Good tune LifeCrafting! I like Michael Franti...
Reminds me of a very social time of of my life, to put it into the best terms I can :)
It brings me so much joy to hear I have inspired anyone.
Keep rolling with your creative work! I have so much good and so much crazy, but if it comes from you, you have something to be proud of. And especially for us who have had such trying pasts, we need an outlet to get these feelings/experiences out sometimes. I'm really proud of you and your perseverance!
My biggest regret, I must share, is songs/poetry/paintings I have created, and then destroyed because I didn't think it was good enough. Be easy with yourself and ride out your creative flow! Hold on to your work, to look at later, unless you need to destroy it for therapeutic reasons!
Cheers everyone! Thanks for sharing Cuthberta!
You are the best Dutch! Queen / Freddie is one of my favorites. I love Don't Stop Me Now, Somebody to Love, Fat Bottomed Girls, The Show Must Go On, and so many more. The world is not nearly as interesting without Freddie in it, (well, Stevie Ray Vaughan & Jimi Hendrix too). As a kid growing up, Queen was so influential on my life and helped me to get through many rough times.
I love all music but my favorite it Blues & Jazz. If you have never heard Stevie, here is a link to one his songs below: ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZa9arkz4Q4
Love that you started this thread on music! ;D It is so much fun sharing music and learning about artists that I have not heard before.
DM :hug:
This thread is the best DaisyMae! :wave: Always brings me joy.
Thanks for sharing Stevie...Speaking of really talented musicians (in a totally different genre), I've been listening to Rodrigo y Gabriella all afternoon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-qgum7hFXk
Hi KayFly, :wave:
Wow, he is amazing on an acoustic guitar. I will have fun checking out all of his music on youtube and will definitely be downloading some of his music. Thank you for sharing! I have been missing out, I had never heard of him. I am excited that we have several people now on the forum that have such a love of music. ;D
Keep'em coming. :thumbup: I really enjoyed Cullom that Dutch Uncle shared, and love Rodrigo too!
DaisyMae
Gonna change it up a bit.... The Bottle Rockets. One of my favorite local bands has also been very popular Germany. Actually more popular than in the US. They are more of a folk band, they call it rural rock (rock in the country basically). He plays awesome guitar and writes some of the funniest lyrics but he also writes some that can really hit home if you listen to them. Here is a link to one of their most popular songs. They also have a fun called 1000 dollar car. ;D Anyway, hope you like it....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9V8odXnG5o&list=RDDhD5_bNI4n0&index=2
DaisyMae
I can't respond to every post but THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!! I'M LOVIN IT!
This has evolved into a long story. I started out with wanting to share just one song, but I realized two others were an integral part of it. It's all below the the first Lyrics of "Torn" (triggers for heavy handed break-ups in relationships :'( )
Partly inspired to post this by the positive reactions on the mime by David Armand: here's one of his best, a duet with:
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxtz63_torn-by-david-armand-natalie-imbruglia_fun (PG-13)
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.
There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.
Writer(s): Anne Preven, Phil Thornalley
Personal background story, probably not a very pleasant read: (possible triggers, as explained above)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a flashback to a girl I broke up with, 17 years ago. She was too hard to live with (for me that is, obviously)
I felt horribly guilty over the breakup. Not in the least since she 'threatened' to do unmentionable things to herself. And they were very 'hidden' threats: "Plausible Deniability", "Passive Aggressiveness"... Now that I've learned of these concepts, I understand better what it was all about. I'd like to think so, at least...
So hard to call her out on these vague threats... If I would 'solidify' them, call her out for what they were, or at least what I thought they were meant to convey, I would have been 'the bad guy'. Or so I thought at the time.
Boy, is it hard to figure out if things said are just a figment of my own imagination, or if I read correctly 'between the lines'...
I've carried around those thoughts for many years since. I do think that at some point I liberated myself from them. But the Emotional Flashbacks still resurfaces at times.
End of the story with her was that I fell in love with somebody else, during a two months long job abroad, where a team of roughly 30-40 people lived in a semi-closed compound. The proverbial "love at first sight". On day one. I was 'lovestruck' even before I had even spoken with this 'new' woman, and I was then so certain that whatever my emotions meant at that time, I was certain it was a clearcut signal I had to break up with my 'so-called-love' at that time. Whether I was really 'in love' seemed a presumptuous question. But I had found an answer to a question that apparently had been clogging my mind for months.
Another song that popped up in this period abroad was the heartbreaking song by Carole King: "It's too late (baby)." (which I'll add as a bonus-song to this post, below) Hearing that song repeatedly pop up (unconsciously?) in my mind, while contemplating what to do in this 'mess', strengthened my resolve to at least break up, and see what would happen afterwards.
Carole King (live):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5TxpJVKKQ8
(Boy, that brings tears as well.)
"Torn" was a small 'hit' in the months after the break up (during which I experienced the full brunt of exGF 'threats'), and it still brings me into tears whenever I hear it.
I've never understood why. Now that I've read the lyrics once more I think:
Is this about a relation with a PD? Nice at the start. What? Wonderful at the start, but it soon degenerates into something that was never there in the first place, and something horrible. "There's nothing where (s)he used to lie" ... "Illusion never changed into something real" ... "To crawl beneath my veins" ... "I don't miss it all that much" ... "I'm torn".
Oh dear, this story is now really getting longwinded. But it's not complete without the last musical reference:
I did not only had Carole King's song in my head during that time abroad, but a song by the B52's as well: Breezin' A song I only learned through stExGf no less:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GlJbgEWSQ0
Key phrases in that song:
I'll hold up the roof, if you steady the walls
We'll sweep the floor, fix the house
Let the waves roll through the door
If anything, I knew there and then there was no way I'd be holding up the roof while she steadied the walls. Let alone we'd sweep the floor together.
Not even a gentle breeze would be allowed to pass through the house :-( . I think that was the most significant 'connection' to it all... The stifling atmosphere that suffocated my relationship with her.
full lyrics to the B52's song (love Kate Pierson's voice BTW):
"Breezin' "
I don't need a reason
I am just breezin'
Makin' changes as they come
Ain't gonna bother anyone
Give and let live
Love and be loved
We're workin' on a positive vibe
So let the love rise to the top
Up here where the breezes blow
Don't let the love flow over stop
We got to get it together
With everyone else
We can't make it to the positive side
Without some help
Breezin'
Let's flow
Breezin'
Let's flow
I'm ready to go
I don't need a reason
I don't need a reason
I'll hold up the roof, if you steady the walls
We'll sweep the floor, fix the house
Let the waves roll through the door
Yeah I'll hold up the roof, if you steady the walls
We'll sweep the floor, fix the house
Let the waves roll through the door
Send a message, put up your antennae tonight
Get the message, put up your antennae tonight
We got to get it together
With everyone else
We can't make it to the positive side
Without some help
This is the turning point
The point of no return-
We got to come together!
Give and let live
Love and be loved
I don't need a reason
I'm breezin'
I don't need a reason
I'm breezin'
I'm breezin'
Writer(s): Frederick Schneider, Catherine Pierson, Julian Strickland
Copyright: Kobalt Music Copyrights S.a.r.l.
Thank you all so much for contributing to this thread, and accepting/sharing my lamentations, as well as my joy.
:yourock: (plural)
edit: YouTube link for Torn got blocked. New link inserted
Dutch Uncle, a huge :hug:
Thank you for sharing what can be so painful. First, on a light note, David Armand is hilarious and I laughed at that song for the first time.
It's so hard when you loved someone so much but they could not be what you deserved them to be. "Illusion never changed into something real." How long can we wait for them to change before we've destructed our own self? Our hope.
You did the hard thing by recognizing and taking action to end the relationship even if the motivation was the woman "you fell in love with at first sight". Even if you didn't fall in love at first sight, your body wanted out so your mind made a reason. "It's too late" breaks my heart.
I've left someone who wasn't supportive enough to me, for someone else. I feel guilty to this day.
Boy, is it hard to figure out if things said are just a figment of my own imagination, or if I read correctly 'between the lines'...
I feel the same way about alot of people who I loved, that hurt me during the relationship. I think what you said specifically about the passive aggressive tendencies, her way with hidden threats...that's not right!
But I do the same thing with the guy I left. Like nothing was his fault...all mine. It's because the other person never owned up to the hurt they were causing. It's abusive.
It's confusing and heartbreaking, and as cliche as it is, these things happen at their time and place for a reason. You knew it wasn't going to work. You're brave for following your heart. I'm sorry for the pain it still brings you. I hope your heart heals and I will do this, as I don't like to give advice to anyone unless I'm taking it myself...let's take that guilt and gently remind ourselves we were not receiving our end of the.relationship. it's give and take and I know I was tired of giving.
You sound so warm and peaceful and you start joyful threads on here. I wish you were my uncle! I'm so glad you're here. Thanks again for sharing. :hug:
Now let's do a workout!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fRscYVvEFt8
Wow... good post Dutch Uncle
Thank you for this song; it made me stop and....feel.
Ditto to all KayFly said.
10 years ago I closed a music store I owned/operated for 6 years before a chain store came to town and killed much of the small biz... it was great while it lasted - so much fun when it came to the sharing of music with others; I learned a lot, I tell you!
Anyway, during that time, I saw the B52s at Redrocks Amphitheater - amazing venue by the way... it was great fun!
The lyrics to Breezin... that's how I see things when I don't think too much; quite a telling little ditty there.
Dutch Uncle, you bring a lot to the table here at OOTS and it's really nice to have you around!
Thanks so much!
:hug:
Hi KayFly :wave:, thank you for the link. It was just the medicine I needed after reading Dutch Uncle's post. I needed a good laugh to help me put aside the triggers. But triggers are okay, they promote opportunities for learning and growth if approached in the right way. I laughed my butt off. And David Armand is hilarious. There are so many funny people in England. I will definitely have to watch more of his clips on youtube. I am glad you are here. Love your spirit and artistic nature.
Hi Dutch :wave: & :hug:,
I am very sorry that you suffered such emotional abuse. Your story is so :'(. It does sound like the "love at first sight" was a blessing in disguise and helped you to make a choice to get out of such a destructive relationship. I do not have the same courage or self-esteem to make a decision. Carole King and the B-52's were some of my favorites growing up. Tapestry is one of the best compilations put together by an artist and I listen to it often still to comfort myself and to try to calm my anxiety. It's Too Late has a lot of meaning to me at the moment and I did cry. The B-52's are so much fun but the lyrics of their songs do have a lot of meaning and application to real life. I know the song Torn but I never really paid attention to Imbruglia much. Think you know already, but the lyrics to this song really hit home and was definitely a trigger, but a good one in terms of what I am trying to work thru.
I unfortunately cannot make a choice. I was young when I met my future "to be husband". He was my Knight in Shining Armor, my rescuer like in all the fairy tales. I made excuses for anything he did and blamed myself for any time that he was mad at me, upset with me, yelled at me. It was my fault and I needed to try harder to make him happy. I traded one abusive environment for another but I didn't see it because I believed and still do, that anything that happened to me was my fault, that I was intrinsically flawed, bad, the guilty party. I adapted, changed in every way I could to make him happy. Nothing mattered, it never lasted long and was never enough. We have been married for almost 23 years and the majority of that time has not been a happy one. I have to comfort and support him but he is not able to the same in return. I hold up the roof and steady the walls. The house is about to fall, I am struggling to hold it all up anymore.
I am at a crossroads I suppose. I can't make a choice on which direction to go and it is tearing me apart. I have changed but my husband has not changed in the same way or much at all really. We do not have much to talk about anymore. He talks about himself and I am here just to listen. He will ask me to talk about something and I get maybe a sentence or 2 out and he is already bored and taking over the conversation. But, if I leave him, I will feel guilty, bad, shamed (I do just thinking about) and I fear being alone, disowned (not sure why, I basically already am by my family), and never finding the unconditional love that I so desperately need. Basically, I figure that my idea of what this kind of love is like is unrealistic, a fantasy world. I love my husband and do not want to hurt him. And, I don't think he really understands how what he does effects me because he can only really think about himself and his own self-protection. He does not have empathy (isn't capable) and can't put himself in my shoes. There are no apologies, no forgiveness, accepting me for who I am. Just like growing up minus the beatings. But his abuse is just as scary at times and he scares me. I know I have to learn to come to terms with myself, build confidence, self worth in order to make a decision on how to move forward and be okay with it. But, the environment I am in just keeps beating me back down. The triggers are constant and I am lucky just to tread the waters.
Sorry this ended up being such a long post. Thank you for being here Dutch. You have helped me to express myself and come to many realizations. I have to make the choice to take action on them and in a positive way. This is the first time I have really been able to open up on the forum in awhile but you know that already too. I start my outpatient therapy on Monday, wish me luck.
DaisyMae
Quote from: DaisyMae on August 08, 2015, 08:18:44 PM
I start my outpatient therapy on Monday, wish me luck.
I do, DaisyMae. The best of luck.
:hug:
Thanks DaisyMae :) You are sweet and I am also glad you are here. Same goes to Dutch and everyone who posts here on this thread.
Take care. Giant :hug: to all. Hope you're feeling a little better Dutch. Its such a hard thing to process. I'm here for you anytime. You are a blessing and an asset to this community.
Quote from: KayFly on August 08, 2015, 09:25:06 PM
Hope you're feeling a little better Dutch.
I do. It has turned out to be quite cathartic. I've never told the story in all it's fullness as I did here. It has really helped me to write it up WITH all the musical references, as they WERE such a big part of the process I went through.
This thread is turning out to be something I had never expected it to be...
(Woodsgnome told me in the "letters of recovery"-segment she liked 'making movies' better. I think I'll stick to this 'musical' format. ;D . It has done wonders for me)
QuoteI'm here for you anytime.
I noticed. Thanks a lot for that. :thumbup:
QuoteYou are a blessing and an asset to this community.
Quote from: Lifecrafting on August 08, 2015, 05:12:11 PM
Dutch Uncle, you bring a lot to the table here at OOTS and it's really nice to have you around!
Thanks so much. Such words lift me up.
And the thanks go out to all of you here, I feel so validated by your encouraging words and your own contributions to this thread.
:fireworks: :band: :fireworks: :party:
You can all make a safe bet on why I post this here ;D .
With a little help from my friends
performed by Joe Cocker at Woodstock
(I prefer the agonized Joe over the more harmonious Beatles original. But credit where credit is due: It's an awesome Lennon/McCarthy song)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POaaw_x7gvQ
What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
What do I do when my love is away
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day
Are you sad because you're on your own?
No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you but I know it's mine
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Yes, I get high with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends
Songwriters
LENNON, JOHN WINSTON / MCCARTNEY, PAUL JAMES
Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Perfect tune! Good job Dutch Uncle. I prefer the Joe Cocker version as well. Reading the lyrics made me feel all warm and fuzzy this morning, helped to calm my anxiety on my way in to work this morning. Thank you! And I am feeling better with a little help from my friends here at OOTS!
:hug:
DaisyMae.
I went to my first outpatient session today. The interview process is long and painful. I immediately disassociated and depersonalized to get thru it. The therapist I met with called me out on it right away. Asked if I was and how I was doing it. I usually hide it well but apparently not today or this woman is just that good. I was triggered all over the place. Gave me a lot to think about. Evanescence / Amy Lee has always been a group that I could relate too and love her voice. I decided to listen to Anywhere but Home, it is significant for me. Brought back a lot of memories that I would have rather not drudged up. Someone who really cares on the forum reached out to me and made her best effort to get me to leave my current situation. Hopefully the outpatient therapy will help me grow stronger, feel I am worth saving, and give me the courage to leave.
Lyrics to Evanescence's Missing from Anywhere but Home,
Please, please, forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one
"Isn't something missing?
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please, forgive me
But I won't be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed
Knowing you don't care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZo5KuNkB60
I have been alone in my marriage for a very long time. My husband says that he loves me often but they are just words, no action. The words do not mean anything and it is the only thing he says. He gives me a fake hug from time to time and says I Love You and because he does it everyday, it makes everything else he does okay. His anger, his belittling, being his clown, threatening me, and many more types of abuse. On top of it all he is a porn addict and we almost never have sex. And, I have to initiate it and it is like he is doing me a favor. Over the years, I have attempted several times to talk about, make him understand how his behavior is killing me, makes me feel empty and unloved. Like I am unimportant and insignificant. But I do not have the courage to leave and I am afraid of him. And, for whatever reason I truly still love him. I have been with him since I was 17 and I would die to be truly loved by him. He does not understand and just can't change. It is not about me, it is all about him. I will not post them here but the songs Whisper and My Immortal also have a lot of meaning for me and how I feel today. Thank you to everyone here, everyone is so kind and supportive. I have read several posts today that show that there really are people that care in the world.
:'( DaisyMae
That's a beautiful sad song, DaisyMae.
I can see how it relates to your situation. :'(
I hope things will work out, one way or another. And I wish your outpatient treatment will be of help to you. The T sounds like a woman in the know, she's not letting you of the hook. Which is a good thing, IMHO. A bit scary perhaps, but it could proof to be a real asset.
I'm sending you best wishes! :yourock:
For something completely different: A very meditative modern classical piece by the composer Simeon ten Holt.
Performed by 4 pianos, the music is just like rippling water, a calming brook.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDCsOL2vBJc
No two performances are likely to ever be same, due to the very structure of the composition. It could go on for days.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canto_Ostinato
(that would be a bit much for me ;D )
DaisyMae, I read your post yesterday but couldn't find it within myself to respond, your story touches me deeply.
QuoteHopefully the outpatient therapy will help me grow stronger, feel I am worth saving, and give me the courage to leave.
DaisyMae, you are precious here at OOTS! Nobody has your unique life experience ~ none of us are able to share thoughts/feelings/ideas that only you have based on those experiences and no one here can share your gifts that come through that ~ not one of us can touch another in the same way that you can. Not one of us!
You are valuable. Even if you weren't here on this site, you are an amazing child of creation and have something to give to the world - YOU.
I sense a very strong woman underneath all you are going through; I hope that between you and your T, you can keep yourself lifted up until you find that courage; I will be thinking of you and send blessings your way every chance I get.
If I can help you in any way, just ask and I will do my best.
My hug function isn't working so I will just tell you, GREAT BIG HUGS FOR YOU!!!
Thank you Lifecrafting, your words mean more than you could ever know. I am struggling with believing that I am strong at the moment. Your message brought tears to me but in a good way. You said such beautiful things and your message was so strong that I actually felt it, I experienced emotion in a way that I never do. I really do not know how joy or happiness feels, to feel loved unconditionally and so many here are teaching me that this does laugh a lot and have a great sense of humor but that is because comedy is the only thing that keeps me sane and helps me to disassociate, like it isn't all real. Thank you for the big hugs and I am here for you as well any time.
DaisyMae :hug:
First, A little history of this song...
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
"Waiting Round to Die" is a folk/country song written and recorded by Texas singer/songwriter Townes Van Zandt. One of Van Zandt's more famous songs, "Waiting 'Round to Die" chronicles the life of a fictional drifter as he passes sadly through the experiences of an abusive father, the abandonment of his mother, drug and alcohol abuse, fast women, and even prison.
It was #31 in Rolling Stones 40 Saddest Country Songs:
"This is the first serious song I ever wrote," Van Zandt told the audience before introducing this somber tune on his 1973 record Live at the Old Quarter. Originally released on 1968's For the Sake of the Song, it's the solemn story of a boozy rambler struggling to see the point of a fruitless existence that precedes eternal silence, ending with this tragic couplet: "His name's Codeine, he's the nicest thing I've seen/Together we're going to wait around and die." It's delicately heartbreaking and eerily prophetic to Van Zandt's early demise at 52 from alcoholism. Still, he was hesitant to play it at concerts since, as he said, "Nobody wants to hear blues on blues on blues."
I've been listening to this song for 3 days...
I discovered it through The Be Good Tanyas beautiful version...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0SmXVrLlZ4
But we must acknowledge it's origin, Mr. Townes Van Zandt....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDymc0CJ6pQ
I like folk, I like blues, rock, hip hop, funk, but I have always been a bit impartial to country. I guess I am not big on the new "twangy" sounding stuff. But in the research of this old country song, I've gained a more of an appreciation of old country, further than Johnny Cash, and some Hank Williams...
This song is really sad. I hesitated to share it, but parts of the song hit home. I also like that it's about a fictional character that represented his own struggle. I find that so creative and inspirational, for my own art. I really love the blues. All music originates from it.
Here are the lyrics to Waitin 'Round to Die:
Sometimes I don't know where this dirty road is taking me
Sometimes I can't even see the reason why
I guess I keep on gamblin', lots of booze and lots of ramblin'
It's easier than just a-waitin' 'round to die
One-time friends I had a ma, I even had a pa
He beat her with a belt once 'cause she cried
She told him to take care of me, she headed down to Tennessee
It's easier than just a-waitin' 'round to die
I came of age and found a girl in a Tuscaloosa bar
She cleaned me out and hit it on the sly
I tried to kill the pain, I bought some wine and hopped a train
Seemed easier than just a-waitin' 'round to die
A friend said he knew where some easy money was
We robbed a man and brother, did we fly
The posse caught up with me, drug me back to Muskogee
It's two long years, just a-waitin' 'round to die
Now I'm out of prison, I got me a friend at last
He don't steal or cheat or drink or lie
His name's Codeine, he's the nicest thing I've seen
Together we're gonna wait around and die
Wow... never heard this one before KayFly.
I'm a lover of ballads and this fits the bill quite nicely; thanks for sharing it.
Great song, KayFly. Both versions.
Thanks for sharing. :thumbup:
Glad you liked it LifeCrafting and Dutch. I'm learning to play it now. :)
A song by the rockers of Rush again.
I regularly play this when I get up, to kick off my day.
The bolded parts are a good reminder for me as to what to focus on.
"The Spirit Of Radio"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdLUx_F2FUA
Begin the day with a friendly voice
A companion unobtrusive
Plays that song that's so elusive
And the magic music makes your morning mood
Off on your way, hit the open road
There is magic at your fingers
For the Spirit ever lingers
Undemanding contact in your happy solitude
[Chorus:]
Invisible airwaves crackle with life
Bright antennae bristle with the energy
Emotional feedback on timeless wavelength
Bearing a gift beyond price, almost free
All this machinery making modern music
Can still be open-hearted
Not so coldly charted
It's really just a question of your honesty, yeah
Your honesty
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity
[Chorus]
"For the words of the profits were written on the studio wall
Concert hall
And echoes with the sound of salesmen...of salesmen...of salesmen."
Writer(s): music: Geddy Lee (bass), Alex Lifeson (guitar) Lyrics: Neil Peart (drums)
Copyright: Ole Core Music Publishing, Core Music Publishing
The happiest experiences I have are from junior high from the age of 11 to 14. I went thru plenty of * as well. Most of my friends were all in similar situations as myself. Unparented and left to parent ourselves. We so desperately wanted to escape our pain and be older than our years. I am not sure what we thought it would accomplish. Maybe it was wishful thinking that we would be able to runaway and take care of ourselves. We did a lot of stupid stuff but we grew as a result, unfortunately a lot faster than most of our peers. We were older than our years and missed out on a lot of childhood that we never got to have. Fortunately, most of us lived through it and are still here to talk about it.
Dutch, RUSH really brings back some memories. 2112 has always been my favorite. I took time to listen to them and Supertramp tonight and drink tea.... Rush, Boston, Kansas, Supertramp, Jethro Tull, Yes, Sammy (Hagar of course), and many more were our teachers about life in junior high (actually starting at 5th grade so age 10). They helped to parent us. I will not include the lyrics to 2112 but have included a link below. It is a long montage of music but is one of the best ever put together in my opinion.
2112
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZm1_jtY1SQ
Listened to Breakfast in America by Supertramp after 2112. The Logical Song is my favorite on this record.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh3Kk5tZSmo
The Logical Song
By Supertramp
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.
There are times when all the world's asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.
Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!
At night, when all the world's asleep,
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.
Songwriters: DAVIES, RICHARD / HODGSON, ROGER
Then I listened to Rush's Fly by Night record. It also brought back memories but is also had much more meaning to me at this point in my life. I know it is time for me to make a change, make decisions. I will hopefully be able to leave behind the empty feeling inside.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17t4bSaMvl4
Fly By Night
By Rush
Airport scurry flurry faces
Parade of passers by
People going many places
With a smile or just a sigh
Waiting waiting pass the time
Another cigarette
Get in line - gate thirty-nine
The time is not here yet (end)
Why try? I know why
The feeling inside me says it's time I was gone
Clear head, new life ahead
I want to be king now not just one more pawn
Fly by night, away from here
Change my life again
Fly by night goodbye my dear
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend
Moon rise, thoughtful eyes
Staring back at me from the window beside
No fright or hindsight
Leaving behind that empty feeling inside
Start a new chapter
Find what I'm after
It's changing every day
The change of a season
Is enough of a reason
To want to get away
Quiet and pensive
My thoughts apprehensive
The hours drift away
Leaving my homeland
Playing a lone hand
My life begins today
And I will leave you with one final tune from Rush's 2112. This is a sad, beautiful song but never dreamed that this song would have the significance to me that it has had over the last couple of years. I want to be able to believe that I am strong enough to support my husband as well as myself. That I could continue to be here for him, help and understand him. But the reality is that I no longer have that strength and need to make some choices in the interest of my own self-preservation. We have changed in very different ways (or I have changed and he has not) and no longer can relate to one another. But, I am still at a point where I would rather die than give up on my husband. I so desperately want to believe that he will be able to fill the emptiness and be able to truly love me for me. If I leave him, I will feel like I have failed him, gave up on him. That I should be able to put him first because he needs someone, and that I should not be selfish and put me ahead of helping him, loving him. The song made me cry like it has never made me before. It was a very painful cry, it is an internal fight within in me that I can't seem to get to come to conclusion, a choice. I need to learn how to fill the emptiness intrinsically and learn how to love myself, believe in my self-worth, and that I deserve to be loved and supported the same way or better than I love my husband. Until I can fill that void, either choice I make in my marriage puts me at risk because I will punish myself either way. I have included the link and lyrics below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI0w7X2Swl4
Tears
By Rush
All of the seasons
And all of the days
All of the reasons
Why I've felt this way
So long
So long
Then lost in that feeling
I looked in your eyes
I noticed emotion
And that you had cried
For me
I can see
What would touch me deeper
Tears that fall from eyes
That only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes
That know why?
A lifetime of questions
Tears on your cheek
I tasted the answers
And my body was weak
For you
The truth
Songwriters: GEDDY LEE WEINRIB
I am going to take a break from the forum for a few while I work on getting through this stage of my life and can figure out who I am, what I want, why am I here, what is my purpose? I wish everyone well on the forum and the best of luck in your own journey of recovery.
DaisyMae :hug:
Thanks for sharing, DaisyMae.
Supertramp, Boston, Jethro Tull, Yes... yes they ring a bell for me too.
May music sooth you during your time away from us here. And perhaps not only sooth you, but as I said in my opening post of this thread, may it (re)connect you, period.
QuoteHappy, sad, inspiring, soothing, opening the floodgates of grief... Anything goes.
Take care. Just your being here serves a purpose!
Where's the :kiss: smiley when you need one?
Well, this'll do as well: :righton:
Oh... And be back! :bawl: ;)
Triggered by thoughts on how I deal with Anger and Frustration, how to find expression for them, I just put on the album of the Henry Rollins Band, "Nice".
Well, nice is not something what 'regular' folks probably associate with, when hearing this hard rock/metal/trash-rock(?).
Yet, I sometimes feel so good when listening to it. It really is a great way for me to release my anger.
*** Trigger warnings for deep dark moods, and close-to-nudity artwork on the album cover, during the youtube video ***
Hello (hello darkness, hello pain)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpVxP31-iRs
hello, hello, hello
hello darkness
hello pain
welcome back my friends
so good to see you again
why did you leave me
all by myself?
without you what would I do?
how would it feel to have to be real?
sometimes I feel like I'm living in a coma
but then I realize
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
hello, hello
hello darkness
pain, memories, shame
all the time wasted
self pity and blame
there you'll go now you know
been so long down below yeah
and sometimes I'd like to start all over
but then I realize
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
hello, hello
hello memories return
bridges I've burned
the lessons I've taught weren't the lessons I learned
and somehow I got this far
but I don't, I don't, I don't know how man
and sometimes I don't even want to be alive
but then I realize
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
I'm just lonely
Songwriters
WHITE, TANYA "FRECKLES" / WILSON, SHOMARI
Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Hey Dutch :wave:
Boa Sorte by Venesssa Da Mata and Ben Harper just came on my Google Play :) This is a really beautiful song. I'm glad you introduced it to me. Makes me think of you. :)
K
:thumbup: KayFly
A really happy and upbeat song from me for a change:
If I like it, I (just) do it - Jamiroquai (I wish I could put that into practice some more)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECLb15QxLy4
Just know that if I like it, I 'll just do it, yeah
Said that we have all the time we need to make it right
Don't hurry for nobody, if it ain't the thing you like
Know your place and fit your space, young man, you will conform
I didn't hear my soul express those rules when I was born
Free to roam 'cause that's my home, you can't stop sweet inclination
The kids want the system breakin' down, not higher education
If it ain't no natural law then you can keep your regulations
'Cause if I like it, I do it
But I, I keep on movin', though they wanna bring me down
I gotta run for the cover
And keep on smilin' though they wanna tie me down
And give me death for the lover
And I keep on losin' though I'm provin' what I'm doin'
I'm still groovin' and if I like it, I do it, yeah
I like it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, I like it
You've got to help those people break that legislation
We can overcome this suffocation
Execute your natural liberation
Happy to enjoy rejuvenation
All around, hear the sound, no one can stop us now
A thousand rules for plastic fools, now they can take a bow
Surely there's been time to see, it doesn't work by now
So if I like it, I just do it
Still I keep on findin' that they're pushin' those distorted visions
And I keep on livin' but I'm dyin' 'cause of their decisions
If I keep on lookin', I can find an higher space
I'm still groovin' and if I like it, I do it, yeah
Oh yeah, if I like it, yes I know, if I like it
Yeah, don't you know? If I like it
If I like it, if I like it, if I like it
I'll just do it, yeah, yeah
I wanna do it, do it, do it, do it
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
I gotta do it, yeah, come on
If you like, can do it, yeah
If you like, can do it, yeah
If you like, can do it, yeah
If you like, can do it, yeah
Just do it
I wanna do it, yeah, I think I'll do it now
I think if I'll like it I'm gonna do it
Stay, we gotta do it now
We gotta do it now, yeah
We gotta do it right now, now
Ah, there's my DJ, yeah
You know I wanna do it
Come on, let it out
Hey, everybody said that if you like it, I think you better do it
I think I'm gonna do it, I think I'm gonna do it
I think I'm gonna do it, you know I wanna do it
Come on, Peter let's do it, oh if you like it, yeah
Oh if you like it, yeah, oh if you like it, yeah
Songwriters
Kay, Jason / Van Gelder, Nick
Published by
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
I like this Jam. Haha. Thanks for sharing. I know what you mean. My last song I posted was like one of the worlds saddest songs...
I dig this funky/jazzy sound...
Gees where to begin lol I like Rush I like Rollins but when I'm in an especially pissy mood I spin some godsmack...shoot every godsmack song ever written. Usually I like the slower quiet ballad type stuff. But I think the song I will have to recommend on her...."Only God Knows Why" by Kid Rock, It speaks so much about how I feel inside...
"Only God Knows Why"
I've been sittin here
Tryin to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
Yet I'm last in line
I watch my youngest son
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills, but still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks * with me
It's hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that's the price you pay
To be some big shot like I am
Out strecthed hands and one night stands
Still I can't find love
And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around
Yeah
As it...hey
And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around
People don't know about the things I say and do
They don't understand about the * that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long
Maybe I forgot all things I miss
Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this
I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve
Still I ain't seen mine
No I ain't seen mine
I've been giving just ain't been gettin
I've been walking that there line
So I think I'll keep a walking
With my head held high
I'll keep moving on and only God knows why
Only God
Only God
Only God knows why, why, why, why
Only God...knows...why, why, why
Only God knows why
Take me to the river edge
Take me to the river, hey hey hey
I will play this song over and over and over singin at the top of lungs feelin every word!
I love that song Johnny Boy...
I like the one he does with Sheryl Crow a lot too. Heavy though!
Picture, So do I lol
Oh man. I am really sad. I was listening to one of my favorite artists Nikka Costa...her album "Everybody Got Their Somethin"...
I heard this song yesterday driving, and it made me feel really emotional, but it wasn't until I heard it today, and looked up what it said, that I really broke down, and realized why this song touched me so much.
Then I got inspired me to finish a song I started writing in March 2010. Never had the words to finish it until now.
Anyways, I want to share one of my favorite artists, a great song and a great album with you. The song is called "So Have I For You"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhOq8P09zFg&list=PLLnoO_3U-_Yxb-aOggdkFq4sMZx5rR8qU
I am a woman with a mission and a past to outdo
I don't need a gun I've got a microphone and a melody or two
Just like the earth has spent a thousand years making up for what we do
So have I for you
Your seeds of misery have sprouted and they try to block my way
The worst gets the better of you and you try to disarm me with an embrace
Just like the heart that's spent a lifetime forgiving what is cruel
So have I for you
Well mama you can choose the rain but I choose the sun
That's all I need to free myself
I am a woman with a mission and a past to outdo
I don't need a gun I've got a microphone and a melody or two
Just like the earth has spent a thousand years making up for what we do
So have I for you
I have justified every wave in our ocean
I have covered every range of emotion
And just like the sea has spent eternity at the mercy of the moon
So have I for you
Well mama you can choose the rain but I choose the sun
That's all I need to free myself
This bird's gonna fly so high
Watch my sky come undone
Mama you can choose the rain
But I choose the sun
On a better note...watch the girl move... This song is one of my favorites of hers as well "Like a Feather"..from the same album
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiI_caFfquA
I love Kid Rock! When he was rappin, some of that was just too much for me although I do enjoy listening to You Never Met A ** Quite Like Me...too funny! But now he shares his soul in a way I can totally relate to!
I love his New Orleans song - the way it builds and fires off at the end... WHEW!
Blue Jeans And A Rosary.... Oh yeah...
And Only God Knows Why....Yep. I've listened to that one so many times I can't count em; it's so easy to sing (way out loud) with...
Sometimes I change the words in the chorus to feel positive...
Like this:
Now, I do see mine"
Yeah I do see mine
I've been given and now I'm getting
You get the picture...simple but oh so effective when I need to feel better.
I'm walkin that there line....
Oh yeah. Godsmack. Talk about heavy stuff...
Thanks for posting Johnnyboy; I'm gonna do some rockin now!
Awesome tune, KayFly!
I see how she could inspire you to finish your own song; You go get it girl!
I went to a godsmack concert once...they literally blew the the plaster off the walls lol
Here's a strange and beautiful one:
The great gig in the sky - Pink Floyd
***mild trigger warning on 'going to heaven'***
Here's a live version, and the amazing thing is: it's a 'cover' of the original, improvised 'lyrics' sung by Clare Torry. (who, after a long legal battle, was at last given 'writers' credits for her original improvisation on the album "Dark side of the moon". :thumbup: )
It's a wonderful and touching song. Why? I think there are no songs were the phrase "words fail me to express myself" is more apt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D33qylfZbrY
One thing I can say though: it's amazing that such passionate performance, such a touching event is actually a willful, conscious, deliberate, 'trained' effort. Passion is a skill, perhaps, after all. That gives me comfort. This has been hard work for Bianca Antoinette, without a doubt.
I love this thread so much.
Dutch I burst into tears as soon as this song came on because Pink Floyd reminds me of this time in my life when I was surrounded by musicians and I was nurturing my talents, and learning Pink Floyd Songs.
I often play this on guitar...Wot's...Uh the Deal...I sing it beautifully too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ilb_57xUC4
I don't know why this is making my cry so much. Maybe because I am on a juice cleanse and emotionally cleansing a lot, but I think it's just the "letting go" of the people who I lived with that helped me nourish my music, and empowered my voice. These people took me in rent free after someone had stole the van i was living in. They let me live there for 5 months, until I figured out a plan, but they would have let me stayed longer.
I wound up not trusting them, not because of what they had done, but because of what the bad people in my life had made me think of humans in general. How many friendships they ruined, I cannot count. I'm just so grateful for what some people have done for me, and I wish I could have shown that gratitude at the time.
This all just makes me very emotional. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad I can recollect on a part of my life in a positive manner, as I had many years of toxic emotion toward almost any situation I was in, or any people I was around..
Beautiful story KayFly.
I have this post-card in a frame on the wall: "The best things in Life are Free." Your five months stint sounds just like that.
Ever thought of re-establishing contact with them?
Now I've got this song in my head ;D
The simple things - Joe Cocker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L80OXhcCrIQ
Somewhere Along The Way
I Got Caught Up In The Race
I Kept Spinning And Turning
Lost Myself My Hope My Faith
We're Always Wanting More Than What We Have
And What I've Learned Is All I Really Need Are...
The Simple Things
That Come Without A Price
The Simple Things
Like Happiness Joy And Love In My Life
I've Seen It All From So Many Sides
And I Hope You Would Agree
The Best Things In Life
Are The Simple Things
Hey Everybody Don't Get Me Wrong You Got To Understand
Ambition And Knowledge
Are The Seeds Of Every Woman And Man
It's Good To Work... Work Hard And Prosper
As Long As You Take Time To Find...
The Simple Things
That Come Without A Price
The Simple Things
Like Happiness Joy And Love In My Life
I've Seen It All From So Many Sides
And I Hope You Would Agree
That The Best Things In Life
Are The Simple Things
[Solo]
This World Moves So Fast
Sometimes You Got To Slow Down, Down, Down
To Find Out What Its All About
We're Always Wanting More Than What We Have
What I've Learned, Is What I Really Need A
The Simple Things
That Come Without A Price
The Simple Things
Like Happiness Joy And Love In My Life
I've Seen It All From So Many Sides
And I Hope You Would Agree
The Best Things In Life
Are The Simple Things
Writer(s): Rick Neigher, Phil Roy, John Shanks
Thanks for sharing. I have re-established connection with the man who let me into his home, and another man who lived there. We are all on good terms. Though I am in a different state now. Maybe I should send a card or something...Have a good day!
I like Joe Cocker, I like his songs "A little help from my friends", and "Up were we belong" with Kim Carnes.
I've been listening to a lot of Ben Harper lately...I love his work...I found this song very touching when I heard it this morning.
This song made me think about an experience I had the other day, that I posted about here:
http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=2231.0
particularly this lyric: So speak kind to a stranger, cause you'll never know, it just might be an angel come knockin' at your door
Here he sings live. This man has so much peace https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVHZtxMtt0M
Waiting on an Angel
Waiting on an angel
One to carry me home
Hope you come to see me soon
Cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
Now angel won't you come by me
Angel hear my plea
Take my hand lift me up
So that I can fly with thee
So that I can fly with thee
And I'm waiting on an angel
And I know it won't be long
To find myself a resting place
In my angel's arms
In my angel's arms
So speak kind to a stranger
Cause you'll never know
It just might be an angel come
Knockin' at your door
Knockin' at your door
And I'm waiting on an angel
And I know it won't be long
To find myself a resting place
In my angel's arms
In my angel's arms
Waiting on an angel
One to carry me home
Hope you come and see me soon
Cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
Don't want to go
I don't want to go alone
Nice
The past couple of days I've been confronted by my incapability to accept the 'good stuff' arriving at my doorstep.
I've been so used to "have it coming", that I have developed such an aversion to anything "I have coming", that I simply block out anything "coming my way".
And that includes the good stuff.
I think that (for me) this is what Pete Walker called "the Outer Critic", but I'm still working on that.
Anyway, here's a song that relates so strongly to what I feel so often, and it's crippling me.
It's an angry song, a desperate song, a destructive song.
But a freeing song, I sense...
The stuff that gets dumped on me, under the pretense of charitability... and then the guilt of (apparently) not 'wanting' it... Ugh...
(I don't want your) Charity - Skunk Anansie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ7ZeSU8ZXM
Why do I sense benevolence?
You stand tall at my great expense
Thick words of gratitude, what a price to pay
Stuck in my throat, I sell every word I say
But I don't want your charity
Twisting me round
I don't want your charity
Keeping me down
Why does your world keep burying?
Gorging much deeper than it's ever been
Rubbing still harder, salt on my hurt
Licking my burns while I grovel in your dirt
But I don't want your charity
Twisting me round
I don't want your charity
Keeping me down, you keeping me down
You pity me with your tasteless gestures
Gratitude for kind
But your bludgeoned, intentioned objectives
Are screwing with my mind, screwing with my mind
But I don't want your charity
Twisting me round
I don't want your charity
Keeping me down
I don't want your charity
Twisting me round
I don't want your charity
Keeping me down
I don't want your charity
Twisting me round
I don't want your charity
Keeping me down, down
Keeping me down, down, down
Your, your charities is keeping me, keeping me down
Songwriters
DEBORAH ANN DYER, LEN ARRAN
Published by
Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
Here's one of my favorite singers: Seal
In general I always feel very soothed by his songs. They are very self-compassionate songs on the 'struggles of life'.
For this one I want to put in the disclaimer that it's perfectly OK to cry, and it's more a song for when I'm actually crying. ;D
Don't Cry - Seal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mte99L-oOSY
Don't be so hard on yourself
Those tears are for someone else
I hear your voice on the phone
I hear you feel so alone
My baby, ohh, my baby
Please, my baby, my baby
When we were young
And truth was paramount
We were older then
And we lived a life without any doubt
Those memories
They seem so long ago
What's become of them?
When you feel like me I want you to know
Don't cry, you're not alone
Don't cry tonight, my baby
Don't cry, you'll always be loved
Don't cry tonight, my baby
Today I dreamed
Of friends I had before
And I wonder why
The ones who care don't call anymore
My feelings hurt
But you know I overcome the pain
And I'm stronger now
There can't be a fire unless there's a flame
Don't cry, you're not alone
Don't cry tonight, my baby
Don't cry, you'll always be loved
Don't cry
Oh, limousines and sycophants
Don't leave me now 'cause I'm afraid
What you've done to me is now the wolf in my bed
In my head, in my head, in my head
The challenges
We took were hard enough
They get harder now
Even when we think that we've had enough
Don't feel alone
'Cause it's I you understand
I'm your sedative
Take a piece of me whenever you can
Don't cry, you're not alone
Don't cry tonight, my baby
Don't cry, you'll always be loved
Don't cry tonight, sweet baby
Don't cry, don't cry
Don't cry, don't you cry
Cry, don't cry, 'cause you still be loved
Don't cry, don't cry tonight
Ohh
My baby, my baby, my baby
Don't cry tonight
You'll still be loved
Songwriters
LEVY, MORRIS/GLOVER, HENRY/MINTER, IVERSON
Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, DOWNTOWN MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC
"Every Long Journey" seems to apply to everyone here at OOTS at some point...especially the lines:
We cannot know what you go through or see through your eyes...but we will surround you, the pride undisguised
--------------------------------------
Every Long Journey
Words and music: Ann Reed
Every long journey is made of small steps
Is made of the courage the feeling you get
When you know it's been waiting, been waiting for you
The journey's the only thing you want to do
We cannot know what you go through or see through your eyes
But we will surround you, the pride undisguised
In any direction whatever you view
You're taking our love there with you
In every long journey what drives you to go
It's half what you know and half what you don't
The secret's been waiting your heart's got the key
The secret's the only thing you want to see
Every long journey begins with a dream
A spirit with courage to make it all real
The dream has been calling, been calling to you
The dream is the only thing you want to do
---------------------------------------------------------
It's also been covered by American folk singer Bill Staines.
There are several Youtube versions; here's one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLI5mRFno7g
Some of the kid pics are triggering for me--but that's okay, it was all a part of those dreams
Beautiful song.
Quote from: woodsgnome on August 31, 2015, 08:54:17 PM
We cannot know what you go through or see through your eyes...but we will surround you, the pride undisguised
:thumbup:
Seal = amazing.
Runaway Train
Soul Asylum
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin' back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same
Read more: Soul Asylum - Runaway Train Lyrics | MetroLyrics
I cry every time I hear this song, mostly because the first time I heard it, I was watching Saturday Night Live, and saw this interpretive dance, which reminds me of my sister. I can't see or talk to my sister anymore, but this dance reminds me of the relationship with her I had. I wish sometimes I could reunite with her and hug her. :'(
Sia - Elastic Heart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaqymceidB8
A couple years back, I was desperately struggling with hope. What was hope? What do I hope for? How? Why even bother?
I had only 4 real friends anyway, and all 4 of them died within months of each other. They were the only friends I ever had who understood me, unconditionally. I was a hopeless wreck.
And then I ran into the song "Clouds" which is linked below.
Once I'd heard it, and looked into the story behind it, it didn't just make me feel better, it gave me a whole new perspective on hope. And the person who gave me that hope himself had died by the time I'd heard it.
The short story: 17-year-old Zach Sobiech knew he had just months to live (as it turned out, 5 mos after this song was recorded). His mother had suggested he write some farewell letters to family and friends. He tried, but had always loved music, and instead of letters he wrote songs. After a radio interview for a cancer fundraiser where he performed the song "Clouds", the radio station offered to help him record it in a professional studio. It had been written as a farewell to his family (the lady on the video is his mother Laura, and the lyric "you were holding a rope" refers to his gratitude for her help).
It was only meant for family, but someone suggested it be put on youtube, and then it ended up on itunes, but Zach insisted that any funds go to osteosarcoma research. Both the video and itunes single went viral, and stories poured in from people who'd also given up hope, but found a way back via this kid's song.
Okay, there's another song--"Fix Me Up"--posted below "Clouds". This was a song written with Zach's lifelong friend Sammy Brown. When they got older they would write lyrics together; "Fix Me Up" was their joint farewell, and it too was put on video, first for a benefit concert and then put on YouTube as well.
The circumstances hit me another way--I never had the obvious family love that shows up in the song and video. Of course I cringe at that but it also felt good that this kid had that, and his song gave hope to so many. Okay, enough of my words.
Clouds:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDC97j6lfyc
Fix Me Up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvSYZHmhIAM
Beautiful, woodsgnome.
Thanks for sharing :thumbup: .
PS: My condolences for your devastating loss. That certainly was a hard blow, I can hardly fathom such a series of events.
I hope, wish and trust they have left you with a lot of heartwarming memories. May those return in abundance.
:hug:
I can't say I know what having a true friend is about; I have been alone all my life. When I hear or read about the connection that someone has with another, I feel the tears coming. It hurts so much because I have no experience of friendship, of closeness ~ of having someone to go to with anything. Or someone to enjoy...
Having said that, my youngest sister died 4 yrs ago from a lifetime of drug/alcohol abuse; she was the closest I came to having someone near but she was never really there with me or for me. Still, I miss her...
So I can only imagine the feelings of loss of those you love. My heart goes out to you... :hug:
I know you say you spend much of your time alone; do you mind if I ask about your feelings/thoughts of creating new friendships?
Beautiful videos. The light in Zach's heart showed through his eyes, his beautiful face... I really like Fix Me Up.
Thank you for sharing woodsgnome.
Hope... In my opinion, hope is innately a part of us. I think we lose it over time through our sadness which evolves into feelings of despair that can create the inability to see what there is to be grateful for.
Not taking away from the very real grief that comes with acknowledging/feeling our experiences, gratitude I think, offers "grounding in the truth of life" and thereby a hopeful new beginning in this moment... Thoughts anyone?
Quote from: Lifecrafting on September 03, 2015, 12:31:14 PM
Hope... In my opinion, hope is innately a part of us. I think we lose it over time through our sadness which evolves into feelings of despair that can create the inability to see what there is to be grateful for.
Gratitude, I think, offers "grounding in the truth of life" and thereby a hopeful new beginning in this moment...
I know I sometimes present things in a way that is not easily understood; still I ask:
Any thoughts?
On Gratitude I have nothing to offer at the moment.
But I'd like to share a definition of Hope that someone from my "Humanistic Society" shared with me in a (by him) prepared 'walk' we had with a few members:
"Hope is active waiting" (paraphrased/translated)
A window opened on me. Until then I had viewed Hope as a passive thing. One (I) would just 'sit there' and "Hope for the best". But then it dawned on me: Hope is not passive, it's active. Yes, I'll wait (if need be), but in anticipation. Ready to 'strike' when the opportunity arises, so to speak.
And thus Hope fades only when one realizes the 'magic moment' has passed or will never come. Perhaps even when one realizes it could never have come.
Which opens new vistas for a new, different Hope. A new active waiting.
Hope as an
activity.
Wow.
I'm still learning to live like that.
Quick note about the hope as it relates to Zach's music...his sister kept a blog after he died.
https://sailingwiththeknight.wordpress.com/
In it, her second-to-last entry is titled "To Hope, Anyway." She'd had a hard time understanding what his hope had really involved. She wrote: "I thought that hope was easy, because Zach made it look that way. And I am only now realizing, through the lens of my own sadness, that hope is really a virtue." In other words, Zach just chose to have hope, not for a cure, but as Dutch Uncle calls it, an "active" hope.
Zach decided first, not to have surgery which would have left him in a vegetable-like state; because he wanted to live life, no matter his time frame...plus he told his mum that he wanted to be a friend to others with the songs; it was an "active" decision he lived each day. It wasn't a pull-it-in tough guy denial, he was actively choosing to have "hope, anyway."
Lifecrafting, you asked me this: "I know you say you spend much of your time alone; do you mind if I ask about your feelings/thoughts of creating new friendships?" I was lucky that my full/part-time career in acting brought me in touch with lots of people, despite my constant cptsd "freeze"-type people-fear. I had this talent, and it oddly rubbed straight up against one of my sorest wounded points--people.
One of my gigs involved putting together a small troupe for several years, and that's where all 4 of those friends came from...they learned to "love" me and I them, despite the fact I could never fully accept them when they expressed their affection. I'm still accepting them, and it's now alone, as they've all moved on. And I have no idea where/when/how I'll ever find friends like them again. Except for some solo stuff, I'm pretty much retired from that field. And so I just go along with the "hope, anyway" now planted via Zach's story.
Thanks, DU and Lifecrafting, for your observations. Sorry for the sidetrack, but wanted to clarify what some saw in the how/why of his last days. Now back to music...
this is a really uplifting thread
those two songs of Zach's had me crying, sobbing, like i haven't in a long time. sort of unplugged me. don't know if i was grieving for the baby, for my mum, for all the people who died in the year after we lost Lily Rose, or for the lost, sad little girl that i found inside me this week, don't know. but i cried from my gut, for about half an hour and it helped. don't know what it helped, but it helped. so thanks for posting those, WsG.
and Zach - to take death and craft it into a gift to give away. that keeps on giving. (i might look at his sister's blog when i can be certain of not flooding the keyboard.)
hope? i still like the definition that's somewhere in the bible (notwithstanding my current crisis of faith/belief whatever) i think it literally translates as 'hope is the making into substance of things not seen'
kind of like it's the hope itself that is substantial, rather than the thing hoped for. active waiting, yes.
Woodsgnome, I want to echo condolences for your loss. Four people -- the only people who could recognize who you are -- in a short time!
I think for those of us with CPTSD, understanding is such a precious thing. To find someone who "gets it" and (presumably) doesn't judge or challenge or deny can be a kind of lifeline. For me, the people who qualify have either met my NPD parent or have been interested enough to hear and accept my story. I shudder to imagine losing them (they are few) in a matter of months.
I wish you peace.
Dutch is way ahead of me and has let me know the thread has reached the five page limit (tks Dutch!).
IAW our guidelines I will lock this one (otherwise they get way too long to read through). Dutch has started a new one (Part 2_ so if you would just shift to that one, that would be great :thumbup: