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CPTSD and Others => Our Relationships with Others => Dating; Marriage/Divorce; In-Laws => Topic started by: JohnnyBoy on September 08, 2015, 05:55:25 PM

Title: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 08, 2015, 05:55:25 PM
Well, 9 yrs ago I met what I thought was the woman of my dreams, things were were tough, financially, emotionally. She told me she had some "emotional" and "attachment" issues, but I never dreamed just how sick she was. She is pure evil. I abused um I think in just about every way you can think of except sexually. I finally got out. I have three beautiful children ( I have assumed their mine given the ungodly amount of allusions to affairs and outright admittance to two) I love these 3 children unconditionally, they are my babies. I had to go to court last Thursday because she gave them up to her dad and stepdad ( she is supposed to be seeking mental help and AA, she is doing neither), I agreed simply because I do not have a home of my own at the moment (due to so many things that she did and admittedly my complacency toward her, in the split I had little more then the clothes on my back.) I go back this Thursday to finally after 8 yrs, put my name on my sons birth certificate and give that child my name (if she doesn't back out). Wish me luck in going forward with my life, I'm trying to move on but its still so hard and painful to be here heartbroken, and she like "eh whatever" and already on her 4th boyfriend since June,. 
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 08, 2015, 06:02:31 PM
thinking of you JohnnyBoy, especially for thursday. hope it goes to plan. stay strong.

much support :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 09, 2015, 04:45:02 AM
meant to say I was  abused not I abused. But anyway, her step mother after a long talk, was very supportive of my stance. Her exact words were "If what you have told me is true, since we have no way of knowing what is truly going on over there (the apartments where my ex lives), and you've given me no reason to doubt you, my advice; get yourself set up, get these  babies back up there with you and the * away from here."
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 09, 2015, 05:08:53 PM
Blushing thank you
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 09, 2015, 05:17:08 PM
I have to go back down there tomorrow for one last critical item, to get my sons bc amended, for 8 yrs she has forced that child to be fatherless when his daddy was sitting right there in the house. He and myself have begged her to amend for yrs but she constantly made excuses. Yes it was partly my fault I wasn't put on there to begin with. (Long story.) But hopefully, barring her backing out yet again (and I'm worried cause shes not answering my texts) it will finally be done tomorrow.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 09, 2015, 09:01:50 PM
thinking of you tomoro, JohnnyBoy. hope all will go well. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 10, 2015, 04:53:47 AM
my worrying was validated when I got to work today....she od'ed last night and woke up in the hospital, called here wanting me but wouldn't take my cell number, my sister called me...at the start of my shift....and was actually surprised it upset me unbelieveable I was beside myself all night, still going down there, they said something about in absentia, soooo. For the record I know she asked that I contact her dad, if I would of been my sister I would have called her dad myself and waited to tell person B when they got home from work. Just my 2 cents.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 10, 2015, 07:03:53 AM
sorry to here what's happened, J/B. i hope you can do the 'in absentia' thing ok, but either way, stand strong and be kind to yourself. this is a lot to deal with. supporting you  :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 10, 2015, 07:38:25 AM
thanks guys, its painful to me because I went through this same thing (a parent self harming and attempting suicide, my dad shot himself) I swore my children would never go through anything like, I had issues and I tended to them and have not even considered self harm or suicide since my children were born, but now they are having to deal with, and it kills me.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: stillhere on September 10, 2015, 02:39:43 PM
Wishing you well today, JohnnyBoy, and hoping all can be resolved so that you can put at least the recent past behind you.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 04:26:04 AM
Well they refused to let me sign the acknowledgement without her there. And to top it all off, I had to go to her uNPD moms house to get her cellphone #, knowing I was already having a bad day she decides it the perfect time to tell me about what a #$%$ (not saying the poor girl is) my ex has become, tallying how many men shes been with, and that there is supposedly a video going around of her with one. My ex denys it all, and seems genuinely hurt her mother would want to start trouble like that at the time. I spoke at length with my ex today, as predicted she wants back with me, I said no, I can't. I still care about her deeply, can't help it, that's who I am, but she has hurt me in more ways then I can describe. She pushed alittle, asked "what do we do now?" I said "Ex honey there is no we, there hasn't been for quite awhile now." she said "if only you knew how untrue that was" " I said "You should have shown the truth" So, anyway I did jump her case just alitte, ya know, the regular "what the * were you thinkin" bit. upon telling me she was going to end up alone, I said so am I, she said why, isaid because I have 3 kids I have to think about. She said said "I think about the kids too....." I listed off everything she took, think totally flat voiced told her "that kinda tells me you don't" she got upset at first then I think realized what was up when I told her I ripped into my dad the same way and calmed down. I actually was not trying to be mean or hurtful, just making a point and getting her to see an other view. On a lighter note, and happier one, her parents more or less handed me the kids on a plate. She will no longer have access to the children. Their grandmother actually for the first time expressed to the kids that I was working to get us a place so they could come home to me. And she told me step by step what I need to do when the time comes that I'm ready to get them. My babies didn't want me to leave without them. Her dad surprised me by asking me to get my ex and bring her back here so I could straighten her out. I told him that if anything her mother said was remotely true, cant do it, no way, I don't play that way. I feel sorry for him, he wants his daughter away from the apartments shes living in so bad he cant stand it before it kills her. *sighs so do I.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 06:10:41 AM
Perhaps this is flashback mode, I'm not sure, but the past few days have seemed strangely like those first few weeks after my dad shot himself. So many similarities, diff generations of course....Funny, I can still see and hear what son was playing on MTV in the school library that day (Metallica: Enter Sandman), know what were doing (arranging magazines for the rack) I had an SI. A dear friend of the family and his son walk into the library, tell me they've come to take me home. As this is most un usual, I ask why, he calmly replies "I was getting son out early, so I thought I'd get you too" He being a terrible liar I knew something was up. but kept silent. I knew Dad had been act...strange for acouple weeks, just how bad eluded me. So once in the truck I ask again, "What happened?" He finally tells me " your daddy shot himself son" I asked but already knew "accident or on purpose?" He said "We don't know but I don't think.." I interrupted "We all know how dad is with guns, he knows not to clean a loaded gun, not to fool around with a gun....we know this was no accident"..."Is he dead?" No he said "crtical but stable condition" The rest of the trip in silence.

I remember us kids getting shuffled abit from friends house to aunts house etc etc for about a month, the endless group sessions and office visits for 3 yrs. Teachers asking me for the rest of that school year if I was ok, I told one "Yeah, why not he survived didn't he?" I'll never forget, the teacher replied "Did You?"

That's all I'll say for now...god bless
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 11, 2015, 08:43:44 AM
JohnnyBoy, i want you to know that you are one amazing guy. the way you handled all that stuff, on top  of the disappointment about the signing. and on top of the heartbreaking flashback the whole thing started off. :hug: :hug:

i got to say i take my hat off. your kids are so so fortunate to have you for their daddy. i can understand the relief you feel that ex has lost her contact rights just now.  how relieved the grandparents sound that you are doing what's right for the kids.  i know i would be in their position.

and well done especially for how you handled your ex even tho i can imagine it must have been killing you.

i wish i could do more than send you smiley hugs but they come from my heart. keep us posted J/B, we are right with you  :bighug: :bighug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 03:40:25 PM
Thank you guys so much....I'm tryin so hard...but of course I've always had to be the "The strong one". I was the only boy *shrugs.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 04:32:36 PM
Oh I almost forgot, and believe it or not, this is actually good news to me, Ive been after my ex to do this for at least the past 2 yrs. Her Dad and stepmom have filed for family first, which means I will be taken out for child support. Now, why is that good news? Because barring any screw ups from the court, My soon will finally be legitimized, with or without my ex's permission.

Ive been sitting here, struggling to figure out why on earth, after she just heard that her daughter had basically died and been brought back, her mother would want to sit there and tell her daughters ex about all her daughters alledged  sexual partners with gory details, I mean she could clearly see I was already upset over other issues, why bring that into the mix. What good could that possible serve? Other then bring me to the breaking point. It didn't though I'm definitely bothered by it as much for myself as believe it or not my ex. I spoke to my ex later, she asked what all her bio-mom had said, I told her the highlights, it upset her alittle of course, but I calmed her down, told her not to fret on what her mother says just focus on herself and getting herself well.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 04:48:42 PM
Dear God no its not the same woman....this is a woman that told her daughter and I quote " Your a worthless piece of $%@# and if your going to kill yourself I wish you'd do it and get out of our lives."
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 04:50:05 PM
This is her bio-mom whom she is trying to cut ties with. The woman has very strong NPD traits.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 11, 2015, 05:33:38 PM
my ex asked for her bio-moms number just now...really don't want her talking to the woman but felt I had no right keeping the number from her.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 11, 2015, 08:24:27 PM
that's weird, but earlier i nearly posted a question for you J/B and bottled out becos i lost confidence.

i may be totally wrong about this, but on the offchance what i learnt out of my own failed marriage might be of use, i will say what i felt.  if it's rubbish, please ignore it.

my ex is a very damaged, very manipulative and emotionally abusive person. he could always get to me by being needy, depressed, or sick or all of the above.  he used it for years to manipulate and control me and to negate my emotional needs, indeed, to invalidate me totally in every way. i was the strong one, so i knew that i had to constantly rescue him at the expense of myself. till there was, in the end, nothing left of me.

i'm not saying he even consciously did this but nonetheless he was a master of his art.  if i failed to do/be what he needed, he would use all sorts of tactics to pull me back into line: Mr Nice, Mr Needy, Mr Insecure, Mr Silent Treatment, Mr Sick, Mr In So Much Pain etc.  his needs were to be met even at the expense of the kids'.  he never did Mr Overdose or Mr Violent, thank god, but he never really needed to, becos i always rescued him fast - not to do so would result in heavy heavy times, believe me.

interestingly after i finally started to stand up to him, he did a good line in Mr Angry, Mr Snidey and Mr Aggressive which was a side of him i had never seen till then. 

My question is something along the lines of, have you thought that maybe the last couple of days with yr ex have been about trying to manipulate you and the kids situation? not saying she's not in desperate pain, or anything, becos she is. but that there may be an agenda there that she might not even be conscious of, but that is very effective in tempting you to feel responsible for being the carer or rescuing her again?

i hope that isn't gonna offend you. but D/U's last post made me think maybe i should say it. you already had so much on your plate, and you only have so much energy.


Title: Re: The long road
Post by: stillhere on September 11, 2015, 08:51:38 PM
JohnnyBoy, I wish you eventual peace, but until that's possible, congratulations for maintaining some presence of mind through all this. 

Perhaps you will one day be able to take your children far away.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 04:35:19 AM
As for the triangulation, I'm out of it, shes knows it, her mother will learn. Arpy honey, *chuckles ah yes I have thought of that, and that is why I am most guarded toward her right now. I know She is hurting, she knows she lost her children, I know she never in a million yrs wanted that to happen but that can not change that it did happen, and that she was warned. She asked me today if I would be there for her through all this, *sighs, I told her of course I'm your friend aren't I? She sniffled and said I want us to be more then friends tho I know that's not going to happen, I said no, not right now, right now you need to forget about us, forget about being alone, even forget about the kids, you just need to focus on getting yourself well. After that we'll discuss our future. She told me she loved me, and sadly I believe she does, and always has in her own screwed up way, I told her I loved her too, to take care of herself and get better. Anyway, I am staying the course I am on which is to work my * off get a home and get my children.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 05:02:10 AM
The post I made yesterday, the flashback, that's the first time Ive every written it down. its was draining, but cleansing. So strange how much I remember of that one brief moment. So much happening in a three month period. we had our easter dinner in the patient lounge of the psyche ward so daddy could be with us. damn why is all this coming back? It was 23 yrs ago. for a long time dad would sit and cry over nothing, just be laughing and cutting up then suddenly sobbing. There was an instance when we went to see dad and participate in group, mom had asked dad something, he bolted up out of his char, mumbling something under his breath guarding his face with his arms, he ran for the door then the stairwell, a few minutes later the orderlies brought him back in a straightjacket. Will I ever forget this again?  I should say period, because I never forgot it to start with, oh yeah, I see it in my dreams. The look of sheer childhood terror on the face of a grown man who was suppose to be strong and protect me from my fears? I still own the gun he used, why did I keep it? Don't blame the weapon, blame the man holding it. Also, I felt as if its permanently linked to me and my family. Has anybody ever experienced what could only be called a memory slideshow? Its like every bad thing that ever happened in your life is put into a power point presentation and ran thru your brain.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 07:12:36 AM
my sisters who were older and had been molested by an uncle got therapy, no one ever asked how I felt...not once, until years later and I mean like 6 yrs later a much older cousin took me aside and actually sat down with me asked how I felt, what was my take on the situation...ahem all I could say was "does it really matter?"
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 07:32:49 AM
I was actually in therapy for a bit, hospitalized twice, have since just oh I don't know come to grips with it? My mother always thought she was too good for therapy, which kinda made us feel bad for going. Ya know the night before he shot himself my dad swore to me he would never do anything to take himself away from me, he also said it that morning as I left for school, I never completely forgave my dad, I loved him dearly til the day he died and past, but I never...ever trusted him again. I actually believe that promise is what made him decide to fight to survive. As he lay on the floor bleeding out, the emts working on him he told them to let him die, My oldest sister said "If you  do what the * will we tell JB.....this still tears me up....she said a look of total sadness and fear came over him and he start hollering help oh god help me I cant leave my baby boy! I think my sisters have always resented that he wanted to survive only on the mention of me. One has actually voiced it.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 08:12:33 AM
True...all of it.....sorry if Ive rambled, it just that its like a floodgate has opened, I just keep remembering things, things I don't want to...*rubs eyes vigorously, I don't want to see this anymore. So many things. Example, dad in shower, covered in blood hollering for mom..a broken razor in his hand, swearing he didn't remember doing it...to please get him help. another....me the night after he shot himself.....I punch a hole through my bedroom door, then lay on the bed and cry, yes a 14 yr old boy bawled like a baby. I remember vividly me slapping my dad across the face the first time I broke down and went to visit him after the shooting. We had to travel 4 hours at times because of the hospital they would have dad in, I remember once we were going to see him, I had missed school cause he had been begging for me to come up, my mom and sister started fighting and my sister decided she would not drive my mom up there, I remember feeling so sad and disheartened for my dad, almost like it was his feelings through me *shakes head I dunno sounds weird I know, I started crying and got alittle hysterical begging mom and sis to calm down and go see daddy, I actually said he needs me, to this day I don't know why. Mom actually started to cry. We ended up going as scheduled, and actually had a very good visit with daddy. I can remember everything we did.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 12, 2015, 09:30:53 AM
 :bighug: this is so painful fr you, and i feel so badly for the horribleness of it all. i'm glad you're able to put it down and know that we are supporting you, however clumsily.

and i feel a bit kind of, in awe if i'm honest.  i guess you must be much a lot younger than me. i just wish i had been that aware when my kids were young. maybe i would have done some things differently.

this kind of 'newsreel' flashbacky thing is horrible, it seems once it starts it just has to roll through the whole reel. as if your mind is still trying to make sense of it all.

weird thing is, i have a feeling, which i am hoping is right, that the more times i let it roll and do the crying and the anger and the emotion of it, the more it kind of cleanses it and robs it of its power to devastate my life in the here and now. that's my hope, anyway.

much strength and courage to you, dear JB. and many  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 12, 2015, 11:19:17 PM
My ex is hovering the * out of me to take her back and bringing her back up here I just don't know, even her dad wants me to..I told herI would think about it, but for now just focus on getting well.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 13, 2015, 10:28:40 AM
not for me to give advice, but i just want to say that i question whether you would be able to help her in the long run.

a bit about my experience...
i felt so guilty about leaving my ex, especially since he was disabled.

the best bit of advice my mum gave me before she died: 'arpy1, a person like that will always find a rescuer or two. you've done your bit'. but that didn't make it easier. i would probably still be with him now if i hadn't cracked up under the strain...

and now i look and lo and behold he really has found a rescuer or two . he even has a bunch of church ladies to go round every so often and sort his house out for him.

i now know that the love he felt for me was not about two people in mutual partnership. he did love me after his fashion but he isn't able to do grown up love.

for him, albeit unconsciously, it was about having a resident rescuer who would willingly centre her universe around him and love and help him in his neediness even at the expense of the kids and of her own wellbeing. 

i poured myself into him in the hope of helping him, healing him with the strength of my love. i did it for two decades becos i was certain he would never survive without me.... and that one day he would be healed enough to love me back in the way i needed.
but of course, he never was able to love me that way. and yes, he did survive, he is fine,even tho i deserted him.

i am the one dealing with the fall out, the trauma of what happened to my soul after so many years of meeting his need.

and so are the kids, i'm ashamed to say, (altho i am hoping they're gonna be able to work through the bad stuff as they grow in maturity.)

whatever my opinion on this one, J/B, i've got confidence in you and i support you. you are a good person. you will do what is right for you and for the kids, whatever you decide that is. and we'll be here for you.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 13, 2015, 03:43:17 PM
i agree
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 13, 2015, 08:17:36 PM
I could help her...if she will let me, I have more means and connections up here then her dad ever will. I have more experience dealing with a person like her then he does, all the crack ups and lockdowns and making sure meds are correct and combinable ( which I think has been a lot of her problem). You can tell he is out of his league on this one. And sadly right now I'm the only person she will do anything for. So many similarities to my dad, I was 15 and basically had to be his parent cause he wouldn't do a damn thing for anybody else. Anybody else have to go thru that? The doctors even told my mom to keep at the hospital as much as possible because he wouldn't behave for them or even her. On top of all of that I had to go to the nursing home to make sure my grandfather would eat (He only wanted me feeding him, he swore everybody else tried to choke him). Just once I wished I wasn't so damn special lol.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 13, 2015, 10:10:08 PM
keep me at the hospital
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 14, 2015, 10:31:58 AM
*sighs...I cant turn my back on somebody who needs me, never could, such is my cross. I know I need help, and I will get it. I have a relatively strong support system, I guess. Altho in the end whos got my back? *sighs nobody.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 17, 2015, 04:43:28 AM
Alas was wrong about the support system my sister has taken it upon herself to shut me out of the entire family...oh well
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 17, 2015, 05:29:15 AM
her and her super duper inflated ego and a mother who is afraid to stand against her basically. Shes mad because I'm toying with the idea of taking my ex back, in essence have taken her back. My sister...and this is indescribably embarrassing to admit has gotten jealous of every women I have ever dated, bad mouthing them, being hostile to them, etc. She quite honestly is a part of the reason I've had so many failed relationships, she runs them off. So, ultimatum time, if I take my ex back, I'm out of the house (duh, of course I am), the doors will be locked, and the phone number changed. But, mom's grandkids can still come over....how exactly is that gonna work out?
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 17, 2015, 08:40:54 AM
I will bud...hey one good note.....she agreed to a long term facility for me after refusing it for her dad....so....shrugs who knows. the well is getting pretty damn dry for chances for her though.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 17, 2015, 11:18:36 AM
Quote
...I cant turn my back on somebody who needs me, never could, such is my cross. I know I need help, and I will get it.

johnnyboy, will you permit me?  i am exactly the same, i have never been able to turn my back.  but i realised it was something in me that was not only damaging me, but actually damaging the object of my help.

i'll tell you right now, that took a whole lot of admitting, to myself, let alone you, now. i had to face the fact, after twenty years of meeting the need, that i had done irrevocable damage to my ex.

the damage was the fact that, by pouring myself into him to meet his need, by being unable to step back and let him face the consequences, awful tho they may be, of his behaviours and choices,  i was consistently reinforcing his maladaptive behaviours (manipulation, moods, emotional blackmail, narcissistic centre-of-the-universe, neediest person in the family). 

i had over two whole decades eroded any chance he might have (he's now in his seventies - too late to change?) of learning how to find real healing, the painful process we on this site are engaged in now.

i helped him so much for so long, i ended up contributing to his self-destruction.  he never needed to change or grow for himself, i never gave him the choice.. i never managed to fix him, johnnyboy, despite my best efforts, i just prevented him learning to fix himself.

i have to live with that and i don't feel proud.

i have to live with what that did to my kids; one angry fighter/narcissist responder, one giving, fawn/freeze responder, in Pete Walker's terminology.  ok, yes i feel contant guilt about my kids, becos i modelled such unhealthy behaviour. i can  only hope and pray that they are able to heal themselves as they grow older.  i try to be positive about them and look on the best side, but here i have opened up a secret pain to you.  i felt i had to somehow.

i realise now that i should have protected myself, and in doing that i would have been both helping him face Reality, rather than perpetuating his fantasy universe, and also most importantly, protecting my kids.  i failed to do that. i lost myself in the process. i hope i haven't caused my kids to get lost too. 

so i hope you will forgive if i stepped over the line here.  and again, whatever your choice, it doesn't alter my support for you. you are a good man and i respect that.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 17, 2015, 04:36:09 PM
You didn't step over the line, I have the same thoughts and feelings running through my head, thus the reason I'm soo conflicted.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 19, 2015, 05:23:41 AM
hey.....can I share a bright spot? MY babies got them a house!!! With me!! just gotta do the court @#%$ ya know.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 19, 2015, 10:46:42 AM
wow!!!!! Fantastic news, i'm so pleased for you!

hope the court whatsit stuff goes of smoothly then. Keep us posted, jb. 

 :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

 :bighug: :bighug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 19, 2015, 04:23:14 PM
yes here...across the street from my mom actually, a dear friend of the family who basically adopted my son as her grandbaby passed away acouple weeks ago, her family who basically all adopted my boy lol has agreed to let me and the kids use the home. And the court crap is exactly that, go, drop $250, sign abunch of dead trees, and pray the court sees fit to turn the kids over to me. What is is a transferal of custody, from her parents back to me. Sadly, my ex thinks she still has a say in all of this, that they wont do anything without her seal of approval. Oh and she has been transferred, basically against her will by the hospital to Long term care, so I don't know when she'll be getting out. Wish I could have gotten that APA signed before she got locked up.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 20, 2015, 04:50:53 AM
I got good news and some sucky news today. Good news...I got the position Ive been wanting forever at the plant (cold stamp). Long story short, back in 97 I went to work there, different place then man, anyway I worked one day, all I heard was snickering and several guys including the supers telling me I would never be able to handle the stampers, so the squirreled me away in the parts dept. fast forward to now, I was sent over to cold stamp last night, loved it, asked to be brought back, they did, and they are talking to there super about me being there permanently, now, when I left there in 97 I got to thinkin, all I wanted to do was go in there to those stampers and run those mother$#@%$#s in the ground, and tonight that's exactly what I did, even the super was praising me and gushing on how I was killin it and blowin the numbers out the door *insert big grin. Now bad news, I spoke briefly to my ex at lunch, she may be pregnant from one of her ahem boyfriends. If shes pregnant, I'm done, adios amigos take the next train to I Don't Give A $!#@.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 20, 2015, 12:30:25 PM
YAY!!!    :yahoo:   big congrats, jb, well done for showing em what you could do!! you must feel proud. and should, too.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

yes it does suck about the ex., that's hard. i'm sorry this situation is bringing such ongoing pain to you. keep us posted.

loads of support  :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 20, 2015, 03:19:51 PM
Oh I am, but of course my beloved has totally destroy a good moment lol. Shes so good at that.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 20, 2015, 03:41:14 PM
yeah, i had one of those. sucks.

might screw with your head but can't take  away from the fact tho,

 u got the job. fact. yay! :yourock:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 20, 2015, 04:00:53 PM
you made me smile good on ya
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 23, 2015, 04:31:03 AM
Gotta lose this thread up soon and start a new on lol. I have a predicament, a huge one I'm afraid. Ok, to start with there is a particular young lady at work right? Shes the one every guys oogles and wants lol. weeeeell, she works lasers as do I. Um, did I mention I've wanted to talk to her since I first saw her and have been too damn bashful? Anyway, long story short, she has never, NEVER, shared her booth with anybody, ever. every guy down there has tried to be partnered with her. But, for the past two days she has asked for me *scratches head dunno why lol. My ex would have a major league * fit, not that I particularly care. But honestly, what do I do? my ex thinks were back together, now this?
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 23, 2015, 05:36:59 AM
Ok, on the parts we were cutting, the hole that braces the part to the machine was too small what we had to do to get our part on the fixture of the machine was too small.
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 23, 2015, 06:12:59 AM
I wouldn't tell her in real life, I like being vertical *grins lol
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: arpy1 on September 23, 2015, 11:02:20 AM
 :rofl:  - now, JB, u go wash that mind out with soap!!!

anyway,good to have a laugh whatever the outcome, don't ya think?

 :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 23, 2015, 04:09:30 PM
lol absolutely......my ex is constantly quoting Rhianna..saying "I'm perfectly bad and I'm perfectly good at it"....well so am I *winks and smiles
Title: Re: The long road
Post by: JohnnyBoy on September 23, 2015, 04:13:03 PM
everybody please direction your attention to the new thread lol simply title long road continues thank ya lol