My marriage was a total text book case. Looking back and reading over my past journal entries, I see that I was an easy target, I was open to allow any type of man into my life to try to complete me. And that's exactly what I did. I meet my husband in Feb and married him in may. He was arrested by July and the down hill battle begun. I got pregnant as soon as he was released for orison the begging of the next year and again down hill we went, he was using me and drugs and I was chasing him trying to figure out what was wrong with us. He never stayed out over night but would always go missing for hours at a time. Not until this year I decided I was tired. I was not accepting unacceptable behavior. He was never available to me and my children and it hurt. And wh n I decided to let him go this time it still hurt. It hurt bc he moved in so fast, it hurt bc reality is too clear. But I know now I am worth so much more. I don't have to endure the physical, emotional and mental abuse any more! And I don't have to allow him n his mistress to control me, I have to let go n let God. Healing 1 day at a time. Bc my unexplained behavior is so not me, but thankful I found this group it helps me to understand myself.
Hi outofdrama15 :wave:
Welcome to Out of the Storm. Quite a history you have had, and it's great to read that through all the horrific pain he caused you you can sense the relief as well that's it's over. :hug:
At OOTS, we welcome people who are dealing with cPTSD through a variety of life's events that befell us.
In the cPTSD Glossary (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/OOTS_Glossary.html) you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSD (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/index.html)
On Boundaries (http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html)
And last but not least: Guidelines for All Members and Guests (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1616.0)
Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD,
:hug:
Dutch Uncle.