Thanks all for the kind welcome. Here is my story...or at least most of it.
I am a 58 yr old male currently separated from my wife of 14 years. We have an 11 yr old son that stays with me (thankfully) every second week. I have recently been diagnosed by my counsellor as having CPTSD. It was uncovered as we engaged in a series of dialogues over the last 3 years culminating in Dec 2015 by a major life event brought about by CPTSD.
When I was 3 I underwent a number of significant surgeries to correct a birth defect. These surgeries went on every 3 or 4 years until I was about 12 or so and I had a "tune up" when I was in my mid thirties. My parents never really talked about what my defect was and when I asked, it was deflected. So really all I knew was that I wasn't "normal" even though they kept telling me i was...except for that!
When I was 7 I found my mother passed away in her bed from a brain aneurysm so I was left to tend to the needs of my 2 younger siblings while my father grieved through the bottom of a bottle. For some reason, I was not allowed to attend her funeral.
Then in my early thirties it was discovered that I was infertile likely connected to the surgeries.
I went into counselling for a bit and figured I had the problems aced. It was about abandonment so I just had to get over it was the solution provided to me.
I think overall my life was relatively normal until the last 8 years or so when it all came to a head in the form of an addiction. My wife came aware of it in a rather shocking way in Dec and asked me to leave the house as she needed some space to figure out what to do.
Now that I am starting to stabilize a bit, I think her asking me to leave the house was the greatest gift she could have offered. It forced me to come to terms with what I now know as CPTSD. I am in a 12 step to help with the addiction but I am finding, at least for now, that it seems to be secondary to me. Now that I am aware of CPTSD and this forum and my counsellor, I feel that for the first time in my life I belong somewhere.
I have been looking through the various boards and can identify with many of the topics being discussed. Not that i wish this on anyone but I am thankful that there are others like me!
Thanks for being here.
Oreo