Out of the Storm

Symptoms => Six Major Symptoms => RE - Re-experiencing Trauma => Topic started by: Jenny Blount on May 24, 2016, 10:21:30 AM

Title: I hate noise!
Post by: Jenny Blount on May 24, 2016, 10:21:30 AM
Is anybody else triggered by noise? I don't mean general noise but certain types of specific noise?
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Dutch Uncle on May 24, 2016, 12:24:49 PM
 :yes:

Doors slamming. In my apartment the doors are always open. All doors. Except for the loo. Unless I sit on it. Then it's open. (I live alone  ;) Otherwise it would be closed.  ;D )
One of the depressing things of winter is that I need to shut the doors, or I'll freeze my butt of.

I even scare myself when I close a door too hard. That's why they are open, I guess.


Now that I come to think of it, at my parental house the loo was the favorite "exclusion zone" for both me and my father. And others as well, I think. The latter took it to the extreme. So much that at the Dutch celebration of Sinterklaas he was given a "Loo-buddy" by my brother. LOL. Great memory.
(it's a sort of Santa Claus/X-mas, but on the 5th of December. Family members give each other person one or more presents, accompanied by poems (well, stuff that rhymes) and usually one creative sort of package that holds a present. Both the poems and the "creative packaging" often contain some gentle 'jest' at a peculiar trait/behavior or a reference to something peculiar that happened in the last year. The "Loo-buddy" was such a package: That dad would have somebody to talk to him while on the loo, where he would stay for hours (or so it seemed, but I think up to an hour WAS the time he could spend there with his newspaper.
Also noteworthy is, now that I type this, the Loo-buddy was somebody who would talk TO him, not for him to talk with. It basically was a cardboard face much in the vein of this one:  :blahblahblah: . I think it even said : Blah Blah Blah. )

But I digress.

There was a lot of doorslamming at my parental home.  :no:
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Annie13 on May 24, 2016, 01:26:21 PM
Yes, sudden noises, loud bangs, for instance the sound of a pallet jack being let to the floor in Target will about put me down with a panic attack.  The adrenaline surge is vile. 
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Otillie on May 24, 2016, 05:20:33 PM
I am so triggered by noise, it's really limited my life. And there's a specific kind that sets me off that's a little hard to label—"recreational noise," maybe? The sounds of people having fun when "fun" means "being really loud." Motorcycles, stereos, snowmobiles, ATVs, loud cars. I don't know why it's so crippling for me; perhaps it's the sense that people are violating my boundaries for entertainment. Of being at their mercy, with no control.

Once I remember I heard the sound of a car engine revving, over and over again, for close to an hour. I was at wit's end; couldn't do anything, just sat there in my house and listened to the car and cried. Finally I went for a walk to at least find out what on earth was going on. Turned out to be a neighbor out in his driveway, working with his teenage son to fix up an old car. Immediately my helpless anger vanished. I was still pretty relieved when they were done for the day, mind you, but when I knew what was happening, understood this wasn't just random strangers making loud noises to annoy me ... I could cope with it.

But in general there is just so much noise in the world — so many people who I think really do enjoy annoying others. I hate how small it has made my life. How I'm continually 24/7 hypervigilant and how I've had to make so many choices just based on "how much noise will there be." I carry white-noise machines from room to room and never, ever turn them off. Usually I have several going. I have a white-noise headband I wear outside. There is nowhere in the world safe.

I'm also deeply, cripplingly ashamed of letting anyone see this part of me.

I wish so hard I could turn it off.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: SeventhFold on May 25, 2016, 01:56:48 AM
Possible triggers below.

I am triggered by the noises people make while eating. You know, the fork clicking on their teeth, lips smacking, little moans and groans, crackling and crunching. If it's really bad, I'll feel the beginnings of a dissociative panic reaction, and I'll generally have to flee the room. I suspect this is because meal times were such a surreal, tense experience in my FOO. Usually one or more of us was in some kind of trouble (and more often than not I was the miscreant), and the meal was eaten in absolute silence. Making any kind of noise was likely to draw attention, and attention in our home was always dangerous.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Jdog on May 25, 2016, 11:05:28 AM
For me, one of the most terrifying memories from childhood was being at a county fair and encountering what Inthink is called a calliope.  It was a huge contraption that played loud music and had little things popping out of doors (like a huge cuckoo clock) at random intervals.  I still get triggered by loud noises, crowds, and too much motion.

Over the past six months I have developed tinnitus, and that makes being in rooms with many sources of sound very difficult. Hearing over the ringing in my head is already draining, but with multiple sources of sound I can go into a panic attack.

Thanks for starting this topic.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Jenny Blount on May 25, 2016, 05:01:48 PM
Thank you for your replies. I fear even the possible occurrence of noise, not just the noise itself. So I'm frightened of my fear...double whammy!
I totally get Otillie's reaction. It's exactly the same for me. Neighbour noise, human noise, bass boom, or television through walls, loud people in restaurants, fractious kids being ignored by parents, etc.
Due to trauma I wasn't allowed to be a free child. I grew up guarded against noise. The sight and sound of people being uninhibited makes me very uncomfortable, to the point of having emotional flashbacks.
I have to learn the noise is not a threat....undo the reactions of a lifetime!
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: papillon on June 17, 2016, 04:37:44 AM
 :wave: Add another to the noise-hating club. I also grew up in a very quiet home, I was home full-time with a parent and sibling until age 8. There was never any music playing, television was a rare treat, and the parent rarely spoke unless to demand/command. I didn't even learn to associate with my name until I was in high school because it was so rarely spoken.  I've wondered if that's where the noise-sensitivity stems from or if it's some other developmental problem from the abuse/neglect.

I first had a panic attack to noise when I was 8 or 9, and my sensitivity continues to this day. Concerts/crowds/movie theaters/karaoke/friendly yelling/loud laughter/etc. and all the other examples the other commenters have mentioned all are likely to set off an EF or panic attack.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: featherfalling on June 17, 2016, 11:58:00 AM
I've occasionally wondered if I have misophonia, I hate so many types of noises.  Yelling, loud noises (such as slamming doors, dropping items, etc), crowd noise if it's loud enough, and noises like fire alarms and sirens all are triggers for panic attacks for me.  Other types of noise, like a coworker slurping coffee in the cube next to me, or talking too loudly on their phone, just causes an irrational level of hatred (I have literally fantasized about strangling them with their phone cord for talking above 70dB on the phone, and yes, I did check how loud it was to see if I was crazy).  The sound of skin running across fabric (my dad used to stroke his feet while they were in socks, as a good example) is like nails on a chalkboard - it makes my teeth set and my body tense and just my entire brain go haywire.

As for concerts (which are wayyy too loud, seriously!), I've bought musicians earplugs, which are designed for the musicians who are playing on stage.  They reduce the overall noise, while not distorting the sound, so you can still listen to the concert.  It's helped me go to concerts for some of my favourite bands.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: arpy1 on June 17, 2016, 12:22:30 PM
yes, me too!! especially neighbour noise, neighbour dog barking, engines revving, people shouting/arguing, too-loud cinema speakers, loud music, crowds, traffic, human noise in general i guess!..
the sounds i love are birdsong, wind, thunder, rain on the roof, my ratties eeping at each other in the cage, mama ewes and lambs in the spring, cockcrow at dawn, the waves on the seashore, the sound of a river rushing, and a brook babbling, some music, sometimes - and the sound of silence. these are soul soothing sounds, healing sounds, they don't hurt my soul. 
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: bruisednotbroken on June 17, 2016, 01:03:44 PM
I'm triggered by someone slamming things around out of anger, (slamming doors, banging things on the table, throwing things out of anger, etc) talking too fast and loud, and any kind of repetitious noise (tapping, repetitious songs, etc)
I'm also triggered severely by the sound of the news on the tv, especially political talk shows. My NM still watches 24 hour news shows every waking second on full volume so she can hear it in every room of the house. She even has it going while she sleeps, but only at about half volume. She would freak out if we made any noise while she was watching (which was almost 24 hours a day). If we were walking too loudly, speaking above a whisper, setting things down too loudly, closing cabinets or drawers, etc. She would even get angry if we flushed the toilet too many times during a show. I still walk extremely quietly, and people are always telling me I scare them because they can't hear me coming.
It's also the reason that I can't handle a loud television. I will get very anxious and leave the room if the tv is too loud, and I'm always muting it if the people are speaking frantically or too excitedly.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Jenny Blount on June 21, 2016, 01:31:34 PM
Wow, you are all my soulmates! We grew from inhibited children into phobic adults. Our sense of safety depended then, on a quiet environment, and it still does. The noise of uninhibited adults and children sends us into free fall. We have to control the noise in our environment and get frantic when others don't play by the same rules.
Noise triggers my flashbacks but isn't the cause of them. I am having to learn that 'normal' noise is not a threat .....*, I'm having to learn that 'normal' life is not a threat!
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: papillon on June 22, 2016, 03:37:50 PM
Quote from: Jenny Blount on June 21, 2016, 01:31:34 PM
We grew from inhibited children into phobic adults. Our sense of safety depended then, on a quiet environment, and it still does. The noise of uninhibited adults and children sends us into free fall. We have to control the noise in our environment and get frantic when others don't play by the same rules.
....I am having to learn that 'normal' noise is not a threat .....*, I'm having to learn that 'normal' life is not a threat!

You said that so perfectly, Jenny! Thank you.

That's a helpful thought to keep in the back of my head... "this noise is not a threat."
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Jenny Blount on June 22, 2016, 03:55:48 PM
Thank you Papillon!
We've just bought a house and all the new noises are horrifying! Or, rather I should say... the new noises are completely normal and my reaction to them is horrifying. I've just put two and two together and realised that my 'phobia' isn't actually a phobia but emotional flashbacks to infancy. Fortunately my doctor put me in touch with a therapist who recommended a PTSD Stabilisation course....and here I am. I am so lucky that all this was available locally and on the NHS.

I wonder (when we hear a noise that triggers us)  if part of the dread isn't the rising sorrow that we can't go out and play like the other children....just saying...
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Rainydaze on July 19, 2016, 10:53:56 AM
Yep, I really freak out at certain types of noise. For instance, this morning I was dozing in bed when I heard someone outside start to use an electric drill. Immediately I felt panic and my heart started racing. It's because when I was a child my narc father was always making a noise while he did work on the house he was renovating and he would intentionally do it while people were still sleeping. Then he would randomly storm into a rage shouting for anyone still in bed to get up. Having a lie-in or just sitting down relaxing was not allowed. I knew realistically I was safe in my bed this morning but it upset me so much I had to get up in the end.

I have an irrational hatred of the high pitched motor noise from smaller motorbikes too, it really cuts right through me. I don't think it's directly linked to an emotional flashback but I really can't stand it! In fact, I struggle to tolerate any loud, sudden noise. Even when it's a sudden loud laughter from another table in a restaurant, it really sets me on edge.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: movementforthebetter on July 19, 2016, 03:22:51 PM
I'm in this club, too. Sudden and unexpected loud sounds are a terrible trigger into full on fight/flight/freeze mode with major adrenaline and many minutes to calm down. I figure this is because of my parents' loud fights growing up. Also my dad used to blast music I hated, so it was always something.

I didn't always need quiet but as I've gotten older I have gone into years-long spells where I can't even listen to music I know and love. I'm triggered at home all the time (live under a major flight path) even after moving to a so-called quiet neighborhood. I'm such a light sleeper that almost any sound wakes me, sometimes several times a night. At my last workplace it was an open-concept cubicle farm which turned out to be unmanageable without headphones and classical music. I blink uncontrollably at the sound of hammering. I didn't realize how extreme its impact was until someone else noticed me going blink blink blink blink blink as another hammered and laughed at me. My bf laughed at me too, recently. I want to find it funny but it's too disruptive these days.

I am in EMDR and really hoping it will help but I might need exposure therapy or something else. Now that I think about it I am probably triggered by it almost every day. I was scared badly last night by the lid of a canning jar popping, and the other day by a fork clanging against a knife.
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: Wife#2 on July 19, 2016, 07:10:55 PM
Wow, who knew, but it makes sense that noises can be triggers. 

Loud noises of any kind, but if they're sudden and then done, I'm ok. I can breathe.

But, if they keep going, and I can feel the sound waves in any way in my body, I'm done. I'm nauseous and ready to leave. It was an adventure being in a marching band considering that was a big trigger for me (parades always made me feel sick to my stomach). But, the strange part was, if I was IN the parade, I could only hear the players near me and I was concentrating on something (my instrument, the song being played) and I was marching - which seemed to help my stomach - I was fine!

Loud TV's or movies or stereos really get to me. I know that goes back to my severely autistic sister and her love of blaring the tv or stereo sound to the point of blowing up speakers. As much as the thump/thump soothed her, it hurt me.

My husband still doesn't understand this. He'll be doing something noisy in the living room (bad enough) and then turn up the TV so he can still hear that OVER his noisy activity. My headache begins instantly. Every effort to leave the room is met with him wondering if I'm OK, what I'm doing and when am I coming back to the living room. Really? With all that noise? I can't do it.

I gave in last night about the loud tv and noisy activity. I stayed and tried to be social. I ended up hitting mute more than he cared for. I'm paying still today with a splitting headache and my tinnitus absolutely throbbing in my ears. I had already intended to talk to him, but seeing this thread makes me know I really MUST talk with him. It's not just me. I'm not being ... whatever, I don't even think it's controlling or too sensitive or anything to remind him that loud makes me nervous, sick to my stomach and headachy. I don't think I'm asking too much for him to take that into another room, so I'm not chased out of the living room by it.

New thought - I married a man (also undx c-PTSD) who is soothed by loud, just like my sister was soothed by loud. Hmm....
Title: Re: I hate noise!
Post by: felloutofthesky on July 19, 2016, 09:04:46 PM
Sudden loud noises put me in an instant state of fight or flight. I have a terrible roommate who slams doors all the time and it makes me furious. Even the sound of unlocking a car, if it's a louder beep, makes my heart stop. Babies crying stresses me out, I guess because I can't hear anything else. I absolutely hate loud noises, especially sudden ones.