i've been fascinated by the various names used in this forum, and would love to learn more about them (without revealing personal identification, of course) - just how a name was chosen, its significance for a person, why that particular name.
mine is from my first name, my favorite number (7 - altho it's not necessarily my lucky number, it's just been my favorite as long as i can remember), and that i believe in the magic of life, the universe, and everything. one of my mantras is 'trust the magic.'
anyone else care to share?
Mine is derived from 2 circumstances.
I literally live in a cabin in the woods (those holiday greeting cards with the little cabin? It's 'mine', give or take some details). And it was my choice, how I wanted to live...and definitely related to cptsd. Walker lists traits common to what he calls the 'freeze' sorts of survivors. My dominant 'theme' starts with 'hermit'; it has both positive and negative qualities, e.g. I can be sociable (had to be for various jobs) but need the solitude to balance the overwhelm. Even if I became urban (I grew up in a city), the deep woods would suit my temperament the best. As a kid, my dreams of a better life always involved what I call 'wilderness visions'.
Tacking 'gnome' on as the last part stems from my interest in folklore, and forest gnomes (as opposed to garden and home sorts) match my hermit side with another characteristic--uncertainty about humans. Not contemptuous of them, just wary of where/why/how they can be so frightful :aaauuugh: to so many, including their own kind.
Mine's from an old song, the lyrics are in part -
"Walking through a wonderland, I got you by the hand
Every move we made, just as if it were planned
Three roses were bought with you in mind
Three roses were bought with you in mind
I gotta stop and see what I'm on about
Stop and feel what I want I gotta
Stop and see what I'm on about
Stop and feel what I want with you"
you've both brought a smile to my heart on a day when i really needed it. thanks for sharing. i find this just wonderful!
Mine is also from a song I love, The Soft Beating, by a band called Efterklang. It has an incredibly pretty melody and is lovely to harmonize with. I chose it because it's a positive reminder of why I am here. Makes a good mantra.
The soft beating
The sound of movement
For the better
Will make us walk
Stop load breathing
The sound will pour us
For the better
And make us walk
From that house
Letters will come and go,
To the rhythm back and forth
Never stop the day
The soft beating,
The sound of movement
For the better
Will make us walk
Stop load tweaking
The sound will pour
And I will let it go
From the house
In the woods
We can keep it, or watch it change
We might sleep, sleep comes the most
We can keep it, or watch it fall
Over the top till it all comes down
I can't imagine it
Over the top
(if you want to hear the album version of the song you can do so here https://youtu.be/Mbsl49KUa5s (https://youtu.be/Mbsl49KUa5s))
beautiful!
Mine is pretty self-explanatory. I chose it simply because I came here in the beginning to research information for my uCPTSD husband.
I have thought of changing mine, but have no idea to what, so I've stuck with Wife#2.
Not nearly as beautiful or creative as the rest of you, but I'm OK with that. It's wonderful to read the stories, the lyrics (so uplifting in both songs). Thank you San, for starting this thread. Thank you, everyone else for your answers!
wife#2, thanks for the thanks. i think all the names, no matter from where they originate, say something personal about the person. that individuality , to me, is beautiful in itself.
Choose your favourite shoes
And keep your blues on cruise control
Mine comes from an Elbow song. When I was stuck in my teenage * where the CPTSD truly manifested itself this is one of the songs that kept me living and hoping for better times.
Quote from: blues_cruise on November 06, 2016, 05:04:23 PM
Choose your favourite shoes
And keep your blues on cruise control
Mine comes from an Elbow song. When I was stuck in my teenage * where the CPTSD truly manifested itself this is one of the songs that kept me living and hoping for better times.
omg Elbow! One of my favourite bands. They have so many lyrics that hit home. Nice choice, and glad you find peace in their music, too.
Another fave lyric of mine is "fear is not the respect you want but it's the best you're gonna get". It cuts to the core of an abuser's motivations.
My username is the title of an album by one of my favorite bands, the New Pornographers.
I chose it mainly because their music has a very humane, upbeat sensibility to it, which is something I try to convey in my posts and in my everyday life.
My handle "Radical' related to my first post here. I was talking about the radical changes I had made in my life over the previous year, and also about the radical (ie fundamental) change I feel is necessary for overcoming my CPTSD. I wish I had been "radical" in my approach much sooner, but I was paralysed and blind to abusive behaviour in many of my relationships and it took another major trauma to push me out of my passivity in order to save my own life.
I realised I was prepared to do whatever it took, and go wherever this path took me, that I no longer had anything to lose. I couldn't live as I was living any longer.
wow, so many songs/lyrics as affirmations and/or influences for forum names. but then, music has always been a powerful force.
my music is from the 60's, especially dylan and the beatles, movers and shakers all. yet, i don't listen to music on a regular basis, never have. this is so interesting to me. the only time i purposefully listen to music is when i've been driving on a road trip, and it's always been whatever station my car antenna could pick up. i'm so old school, i wouldn't know what to do with all the satellite gadgets that come standard in cars anymore. (i still drive a 94 escort - it doesn't even have gps and i'm glad. i like the mystery and adventure and thrill of maybe getting lost and having to find my way back on track. maybe a little like this whole c-ptsd thing. i don't know. maybe not.)
and radical, it sounds like your name is perfect for you as well. thanks for all these responses. i find this fascinating. i never heard of 'elbow' yet here are 2 people who listen to it regularly and can quote lyrics. wowser! this is great! and so are all of you!
I love this thread. :)
Well, mine is from the book House of Leaves. I'm obsessed with that book and also with the companion album, Haunted. Both are really intense, cathartic, beautiful works of art that dig really deep into trauma.
The phrase "abcdefghijohnnyz" comes from a letter from the main character's mother. Something about it just seems to express this intense, desperate, overwhelming love. Like, replacing most of the letters of the alphabet with your child's name, as if it is just everything to you.
How did I miss this post? These explanations are tremendous :)
Yes music is a very powerful source for calm... but one of my traumas caused music to become a trigger instead of the saviour it was. Otherwise I would most definitely have had a name that was musically oriented.
One of my most loyal, strong and gentle advocates calls me Contessa. We make up ridiculously long nicknames for each other with royal titles, middle initials, double barrelled surnames, prefixes... they just get longer and longer. So he gave me the first name 'Contessa', and at the end of our good goofy chats he signs off with 'Good night dear Contessa'.
It always feels good and I always go to sleep with warmth and calm :)
I actually just changed mine, as anyone who knows me might recognise the author I took my previous screen name from. Now I have this, which comes from the trees with their split-open, hollow cores that, nonetheless, keep on growing.
mine is my initials and loves you. i have always been suicidal and i know how it feels to be alone. i figured anyone seeing loves you would make them feel comfortable and not scared. i hope it helps others
just checked in. these are tremendous! thank you all so much. fascinating to me as to what moves different people, inspires them, calms them, disrupts them. the independence and individuality is beautiful to me. unfortunately, this is what i think a lot of people miss - both regular and professional people. how can they clump people together like they do? thanks all for posting. you're all so wonderful, each in your own way. blessings.
I know I'm a little late to the party but as I'm new here and just poking around I thought I'd add my two cents! I really like the podcast Welcome to Night Vale about a desert town where the bizarre is commonplace, and in one of my favorite early episodes an entity described as the "GLOW CLOUD" comes to the city. It rains animals of increasing size over the city, and it looks like all will be lost until it's discovered that the GLOW CLOUD came to town mostly just to join the school board so its child would have a good scholastic experience. In all subsequent mentions of the eldritch phenomenon that now runs the school board, it's accompanied with a flat toned exclamation of "ALL HAIL. ALL PRAISE. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD."
never too late, this thread is ongoing. thanks for your two cents!
very interesting concept. the glow cloud just wanted to make sure the school system would be run well. i love it!
Saule is the Lithuanian and Latvian goddess of the sun. It also means 'willow' in French. Goddess names always give me a feeling of strength, so I often use them as usernames. And willow trees seem rather resilient, bending but not breaking.
interesting thread you have here, Sanmagic7.
My name is merely the meaning of my name.
But I more pictorial than verbal. The picture is of cupid hold a laurel wreath. Cupid was a real mischief maker. He made Apollo fall in love with Daphne. Daphne did not want him and called to her father to save her from him. Her father obliged, turned her into a laurel tree. Bereft of Daphne, Apollo worshiped the laurel tree.
I do not know precisely what this means about me... other than I have an aching heart for love that I'll never get.
I never feel too creative when I have to think of a name (or email address or sth). I tend to blank. If I had a cat, which I don't, I'd probably call it Cat.
So Blueberry is actually pretty creative. :cheer:
All things nature are a source of inspiration and calm to me. I was musing on the different countries I've lived in, and berries just popped into my head. First I was thinking of different types of berries with pretty 'local' names. But decided I'd rather have a berry name that doesn't immediately place me geographically. Plus, blueberries are meant to be really healthy. I'm not always too good at self-care, including nutritious eating, so it's good for me to have a gentle reminder of that, rather than my name focussing on bad things that have happened to me or problems I have.
these names have so much heart in them, it fills my spirit to read about them. thank you for contributing.
laurel leaves are also known as bay leaves, i believe, and bay leaves are one of my favorites for seasoning, especially anything with beef. it's spicy and a bit pungent, gives a meat a bit of zestiness and depth without being too much. and i so wanted to name one of my daughters daphne, but was outvoted by friends and family both times. they told me she'd be called 'daffy' by kids at school, and it would be a horrible thing to do to her. i still love the name, tho.
interesting goddess name, one i've never heard of. willows are some of my favorite trees - i grew up with one overhanging my yard. they give the best shade and move at the slightest whisper of the wind. there are none here in mexico, but i look for them whenever i'm in the states.
blueberry is one of the healthier foods we can eat, and o so cute to boot! looks like your creativity is there, just under the surface. i'm so enjoying this.
Reviving this thread cause I'm allowed. Haha!
I was just walking along when three roses popped out of the ground and handed me a card, wedged between their petals. I inquired; "Oh what's this?" and took a gander to notice it was directions to a nearby ancient site, one filled with stories, history, and meaning... and me being the curious fellow I could not help myself but traverse the overgrown path. ;D
I have a thing for people's backstories, usernames especially. Such a small thing but it means so much to some people, a name chosen by the individual, one that best represents them. It's beautiful, I think. :)
I also notice a few referrals to Willow trees here. Interesting that, Willow trees are my favourite type of trees! There's something surreal about them... the way they hang and droop, so unlike anything else. I've always been fascinated by them, from a very young age. I didn't have them in my neighbourhood, but occasionally I'd be in the car, drive past one and I couldn't help but stare and admire.
My own name is a combination of two words...
Atramentous was something I found first, whilst reading a thesaurus and the synonyms of 'black'. I've always been rather 'black', lol and I don't mean race. My clothes are all black, my favourite writing colour is black, my hair is black, my possessions are black, my damn pillow is black! hahah When I get a cat, it's going to be black (fun fact, did you know black cats are the least likely to be adopted? :'( ). I would have bought myself a black phone but then I'd never find it at night. ;) I don't know why I'm obsessed with black things. But Atramentous specifically means ''black as ink". And it represents me well. I like black, I'm a writer/artist, it's fitting. And you know, it's OKAY to like black. Some people take it as you being an emo or a goth, satanic, whatever... but I think it's okay. :) Just like how some people prefer to dress in pastel, others prefer white, I prefer black. My preference is black but that doesn't mean it's bad. White text on black background is easier to read anyway, in my opinion. :bigwink:
Aphotic, or in full "The Aphotic Zone" is the part of an ocean or lake where the last of sunlight reaches, the very depths of water.
The Aphotic zone reminds me that, whilst everything can be cripplingly empty and bleak at times, there's still 'up'. There's still the surface, there's still light up there, there is hope. I don't know when, but one day I'll rise to that surface. I'll arrive at the Euphotic zone, the sunlit area. I just have to keep swimming, keep fighting. And it's a good thing I'm a naturally good swimmer. ;) Though ironically I have a fear of the ocean and I freak out over the thought of being in a vast open area with no land in sight. lol :whistling:
So, I think, with those two words combined it kind of resembles... well, me obviously. Aphotic is my circumstance, Atramentous is my personality. Both are black, both are dark. The difference is that one is harmful and the other is not. The Aphotic zone wants to crush me under the pressure, to swallow me in its darkness. But fire beats fire, and one of those words will prevail. I can only try my best to have Atramentous be the victor. :) It's a convoluted omni-way trip to Euphotic. ;)
This is a great post. I too have wondered sometimes about people's names.
Mine is because when I started my healing journey I remembered a time when I ran ahead with my brothers to the soft-serve ice cream place. You could choose chocolate or vanilla or a swirl of the two. My brothers put in their orders, but when the ice cream man asked my which flavour I liked, I responded 'I don't know, you have to ask my mother' and did not understand the puzzled look that he gave me. Throughout the rest of my childhood I ordered the mixed cone because it was safest (and also what my mother ordered).
As I started therapy and separating from my NM, I began realizing that I had no idea what I liked, what I enjoyed doing, what I disliked, etc. She had so enmeshed me into her, that I had no idea who I was as a separate person. So, I went out and started trying everything and anything that looked remotely interesting or enjoyable (foods, past times, books, etc.). I still enjoy trying new things to see if I like them.
Along the way, I realized that I like vanilla soft serve cones. I do like other flavours of ice cream, but when it comes to the swirled-on-top-of-the-cone soft serve, for me it is vanilla all the way. I have actually gone to soft serve vendors just so that I can order vanilla ice cream cones. Yum! That discovering was both one of the earliest realizations of how bad my NM is, and one of the earliest moments of something separate that I liked for myself without considering her opinions about it. So, I like vanilla is symbolic to me on my healing journey.
I have actually wanted to start a thread about names but I'm glad I didn't and waited because then this thread popped up and I wasn't being redundant.
Melodie Rose is actually my name. Well my first and middle.
For the longest time I hated my name. It represented being feminine and vulnerable which was something I refused to be, not understand that being vulnerable is what makes us strong. I still have a difficult time with this concept, but at least I can be more objective about it. And now I love my name. Its unique and pretty.
But anyways, I have a whole story. My father was actually the one that got to pick my name, and when he was younger he was into writing his own stuff. And one night he was strumming on his guitar thinking of a good name and 'Melody' came to him but he wanted me to be different and replaced the 'y' with 'ie'. And as he looked down he saw a rose that was on his guitar and bam, my name. He also still has this particular guitar. It sits in our living room collecting dust unfortunately.
He is still very into music, and ironically I am too. Music has really been my only escape.
And the spelling choice was indeed unique. In 21 years I have only met one other woman with the same name and same spelling as me.
I also wanted to say, I find it interesting to see how we are all unique and diverse in what touches us and how creative we are. Haha
Melodie
Quote from: MelodieRose on October 18, 2017, 04:30:15 AM
For the longest time I hated my name. It represented being feminine and vulnerable which was something I refused to be, not understand that being vulnerable is what makes us strong. I still have a difficult time with this concept, but at least I can be more objective about it. And now I love my name. Its unique and pretty.
In regards to my own first name, I'm kind of in the same boat as you, except... I STILL hate it. Haha And I don't know if that will change.
My first name is the name of a well known princess but I am so painfully unlike a princess, or at least I don't want to be associated with that kind of role. And eventually my F started calling me a 'princess' as an insult because I didn't like playing in the yard (bugs scared me). And I didn't like getting dirty either. So now a princess reminds me of cowardice and weakness.
...I should get a name change, lol. Something more masculine, with some oomph to it. So much effort though. :Idunno:
It's nice that you can see your name in a different, more positive light though. :)
Wow, Woodsgnome! That's amazing. I would love to live in a cabin in the wood. And one day I will, when the bank will let me borrow money to actually buy a place. :D (I'm also a huge fan of folklore)
My name comes from the Irish language and it means "Telling the tale", which I felt was fitting as it's what I am trying to do, slowly starting up trauma-treatment.
So many lovely songs from you people!
Quote from: MelodieRose on October 18, 2017, 04:30:15 AM
Melodie Rose is actually my name. Well my first and middle.
It's very brave of you using your real name here. I couldn't possibly do that, even though my name is not particularly unusual.
This is a beautiful topic, I love reading about the ideas behind people's names. It's like a window into the mind, it never stops fascinating.
Mine is just a surprised "ah" I had when I found out about c-ptsd. I felt like a light bulb had lit up above my head, and a few hundred questions I had carrying around with me about me, my life, my feelings, my failures... just vanished.
It's just a really simple "ah", not "ah...!" or "ah??? %#^%&" because, well, I felt small and insignificant as I chose it so it became me, I felt uninteresting and felt like hiding, so I didn't make it more interesting. But also because finding out about c-ptsd wasn't a cathartic melodramatic moment, it was really small and quiet but ran deep.
It is fun/interesting to read this thread I must say ;D I never posted about why I chose my forum name before because I didn't think it was overly meaningful, but I actually it was now that I reflect back on why I chose it.
I just wanted a loving nicknamey kind of a handle, something really different from how I felt at the time. Kizzie seemed light-hearted, kind of innocent and free spirited, someone I wanted to become. Sometimes I will hear myself talking to myself as Kizzie now, saying "Well Kizzie Kat, time to get up and stretch" or "OK Kizzie girl, great job today, time for a break." I like that I do that now :yes:
Blueberry, I wasn't very creative as I was trying to think of a name and I wasn't too terribly worried about being contacted again by my abusers so I didn't find any fear in using my name. No one here really knows anything about me like where I live or even my last name and my mother disowned me when I think I was 14 so it was just easier for me I guess. :/
Melodie
i love reading about peoples' names here. it's fascinating to me. there is so much experience and wonderment collected in these names. thanks so much to everyone for sharing. hugs all around.
DecimalRocket.
I thought something sciency could fit. It's not just because I go to classes specialized in STEM but it's also because this is probably what kept my hopes up all these years. My reason for living.
When I was young, I didn't feel much of any positve emotion. I barely had no gratitude for my life. No feeling of love or closeness to family or "friends". I had barely no relaxation from being so anxious the whole day. Barely any pride for any accomplishments as I had cruel high expecations on everything. But I did have some curiosity left.
My earliest memories were of reading in the library. Roman and Greek History. Spies. Animals. Machines. Planets. Different countries. I learned how to read earlier than other children. I read books for teenagers at early elementary. I read books for adults at my preteen years whether it was a complex fiction commentary on suicide or Michio Kaku explaining the physics of the fourth dimension.
I remember whenever I had a particular bad day — I'd remind myself that I hadn't finished learning everything in the world yet. I remember one video I always remembered during times like this. It was called "The Most Astounding Fact." It told of the idea that many of the elements of the periodic table where birthed in the guts of stars — that exploded into the universe when these stars died. And the speaker remarked that this meant that elements composed of our bodies all came from the same place and all of us are connected in some way. That we are not just in the universe. The universe is in us.
Space became a symbol of my life. An endless place of mostly darkness. Something that struck fear at how large and unknown everything was yet is a concept of constant fascination and wonder.
I was terrified by my own life yet I was . . . deeply fascinated by it.
Everytime I cried. . . Everytime I had a breakdown . . . Everytime I nearly lost all damn hope. . .
Instead of being afraid of the unknown, I asked myself . . . "What possibilites are out there?" "What theories, research and observations can I make to solve this?" "What's new to learn?"
I realized that if I had the chance to get out of this, it was in believing that curiosity was stronger than fear.
I was on a rocket into the unknown my entire life.
I didn't learn to live anymore. I lived to learn.
I know this thread is just about names, but I feel like hopping in to thank DecimalRocket for the observations expressed here, especially the reminder that "curiosity was stronger than fear."
I too haunted libraries early on; the imagination I found there was my only outlet and connection to a world greater than the * I was in. So reading became not just a refuge, but an open door to unthaw my frozen perceptions of what could be. As George Bernard Shaw put it: "Some see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not."
Curiosity can take rude turns, dredge up what's hard to take (e.g. "they never loved me; no one did; I was abandoned; I'm no good", etc.) We seek to always avoid pain, but it's only a door. It may be hard to open, but beyond it might indeed lie other realms, and sometimes it's the only way...unknown but perhaps it's where the peace will be found, too. Not as a destination, but as a process that continues and is fraught with possibilities that somehow we know are out there, with our names on it; for us. :spaceship:
I think maybe we need to start a love of libraries thread. I too spent much time haunting libraries. I still love libraries. Libraries were my havens, especially during summer break from school where there was no where else to hide from my abusive parents and older brother and needy younger siblings. Plus, I love learning, browsing shelves in subject areas that are new to me, picking books from favourite sections. Reading and reading while there. Going home with stacks of books and gobbling them all up. Books and libraries have always been an escape and a haven for me.
I think I will start that thread... because... libraries :cloud9:
Edited: to keep this thread from being usurped, I did start the libraries thread. This is a great thread; I am enjoying reading about how people chose their names and want to avoid going too far off the original topic.
i was in the library all the time as a kid. billy the bookworm reading challenges every summer. it's still one of my favorite places to be, along with fabric stores. it's the tactile sensations i seek.
thanks d.r. and redrat, for adding your voices and explanations here. so very interesting. so many ways to battle this beast from so many different angles. how wondrous are we!
and glad to find more libraryphiles vanilla and wg. they're the best.
Quote from: abcdefghijohnnyz on January 22, 2017, 02:48:06 AM
Well, mine is from the book House of Leaves. I'm obsessed with that book and also with the companion album, Haunted.
I have been trying to finish that book for ages and it just keep getting away from me. It seems like one of those books that you really have to commit to, like on a vacation or something like that. I had no idea there was a companion album though - thanks for putting that out there!
Sanmagic, I love that your name is inspired by all the magic in the world. That's a really beautiful sentiment, and something I think we can all benefit from sometimes. Just knowing there is some other force out there that is creating good in the world.
Mine is a combination of two things: the word "resilient," which is what I am aiming to be more and more everyday, and the first two letters of my name. Res Ca. Because I am resilient.
Quote from: Resca on November 17, 2017, 01:31:23 AM
Mine is a combination of two things: the word "resilient," which is what I am aiming to be more and more everyday, and the first two letters of my name. Res Ca. Because I am resilient.
That's really neat! And I think it's brilliant that you can write that you are resilient! It's really hard for me to say or write positive things about myself. You can apparently. :applause: :thumbup:
Mine has a lot of different layers to it.
Songbird
- The name of one of my favourite songs that has a line I particularly love in it; Songbird, you've got a tale to tell. How many times can you describe your living *?
- An old school nickname that my friend used to call me because he said my singing was really sweet like a bird.
- I love music, and I've always kinda thought of myself as being a bit like a bird. Feeling like I need to be free to fly away and never staying in one place for too long.
Rosa
- This is a variation of my name, but not the one I go by in real life.
- The symbolism of roses as something beautiful that comes from something that can hurt has always kinda resonated with me.
This thread has been amazing to read through. I absolutely adore the different reasons for each of your names on here. I also second the idea that we need a thread about libraries, I am such a book nerd. Which brings me to why I chose my name.
It is a variation on a character Elphabanigh from Wicked. I read the book growing up, over and over again. I do also love the musical, but my love began with the original work. I grew connected to the depth of her character and strength. I felt connected, like there was something in that character that I aspired to be. So I have used variations of the name in places, including this one where I could grow to be what I saw in that character.
It also sounds a bit like Elf which is often a race in books/video games/movies that I connect greatly with. Often one full of wisdom, and strength. Two things I always strive to have and gain.
Basically I am a book nerd
wow, i haven't been back here in awhile, but so happy to see new names still coming. such strong, beautiful reasons for your names, so inspiring. absolutely love it.
i'm happiest, i think, when absorbed by a book. i'd gotten away from them for awhile because of my move, but they're back, i've found some keepers at goodwill, which i've been so pleased about, and have 2 books waiting to be finished by one of my favorite amer. authors - steinbeck.
thanks everyone for keeping this going. i absolutely love it and all of you.
because it's a cat sound...and i'm mostly a cat... ;D
i love this thread btw. i feel like i've learned so much about you ppl!
I never looked at this thread before but stumbled across it today while trying to keep my mind busy.
My name comes from the color of a sapphire stone. Sapphire is my birthstone and also in my engagement ring. It is a single sapphire with a circle of diamonds around it. Blue is my favorite color and I have always felt drawn to it. People have described my eyes as a deep Blue and my feelings are often a deep Blue as well.
I am an Asian woman in construction and i feel like this trait really does define my character. i.e. you can probably guess what kind of female i am haha!
When i first joined the company, i saw the name Roe Lee on a document i glanced at on my boss' desk. I'd come in straight from uni and was (still am) desperate for representation within my industry. I never see women on site and they're always in the office unlike me. Don't even get me started on being a minority on top of that. Roe Lee was (to me at the time) a name that gave me hope. A sense of untapped opportunity. Almost an imaginary friend. I spent weeks silently scoping out this fabled "Roe Lee" and i didn't ask anyone about her because i was too shy. I imagined meeting her and befriending her and that she would make me feel safe and protected in this "Man's World". I imagined telling her about my cptsd and imagined she would be the pillar of support i needed to brave being the New Girl at work. Social corporate settings are not my forte. I wanted to meet Roe and i wanted us to be friends.
Alas, I found out that Roe Lee was a name of a site, not a person. I was mildly disappointed, but I ended up laughing at myself. Was i being hypervigilant or just very very hopeful? Was i projecting? I felt like i was reliving the lighter moments of my childhood again. The name was no longer a representation of Hope, it was a reminder of Joy.
And now i'm here, trying to spread these emotions. I love you guys.
All my love,
Roe.
i'm so jazzed that people continue to share on this thread. your names tell so much about you, hopes, dreams, realities in your lives. thank you so much for continuing this. you all are so very beautiful, and my heart bursts with love at the thought of you. thank you for being you.
Mine is a little odd I guess. I chose "GarlicMaster" as a celebration for me learning how to cook when I finally left home. My parents never taught me how (even when I asked), so learning to do so was a mini victory for me and my independence. I have always loved garlic so I thought, I know, I'll be the GarlicMaster! lol.
Garlic master I think that's really cool. :hug:
I never saw this post before. Thanks for pointing it out, Kizzie. I really enjoyed reading the reasons people chose the names they did.
My name, Not Alone, has a couple of meanings. There are people who support me, to various depths; therefore, I am not alone. Jesus will never leave me, so I'm not alone. Also, I have Little Parts inside (DID), so internally, I am not alone.
Oh you all have beautiful and meaningful reasons for your names. Thank you for sharing.
My name is a pet name or nickname that my husband uses. He gives everyone silly nicknames that he uses constantly. And as hes a little childlike, they have silly, playful reasons behind them.
I had a really bad cold and I was sniffing a lot. Which my husband called 'snooking' as opposed to sniffing. Then he called me 'The Snookeroo' which I found sweet and funny. That got shortened to Snook, which over the years became Snookie. Then it became Snookiebookie. The name has stuck for almost 20 years. He still calls me different variations of the name now.
I like being Snookiebookie, it's like a sweet childlike name. It's kind of stepping away from the harsh realities of life and being a child. I don't feel I was ever allowed to a child really due to how my parents were.
so lovely to see more names being shared here. the meanings we've assigned to our names on this forum often feel like some kinds of representation of the things we love, or wish for, in one way or another. the variety of names and reasons continue to astound me. we all are so very clever! much love and hugs all around! :grouphug:
I didn't know about this lovely thread either.
I chose Snowdrop as snowdrops always give me hope. They flower in the middle of winter, and seeing them always makes me feel happy. Snowdrops know that Spring is on the way, even if nothing else does yet.
"Bach" is an endearment in the Welsh language. A number of years ago I was spending a lot of time in Wales in connection with a project I was working on. It was an optimistic time for me, and I loved it there. I made some good friends, and dreamed of moving there permanently. That didn't happen, but the name reminds me of the better version of myself that I am working to create.
I would have been just T but I had to make my name at least 3 letters. But I never had a nickname and T was my first nickname which is what I rather be called than my real name cause I gave my real name to my fracture that I gave control of my life when I was young and couldn't be perfect.
I was born into a tense and sometimes explosively violent situation. But my earliest memory is a happy one. I had been placed in an upstairs room, empty except for my crib. The late afternoon sunlight came in through a set of three windows. I remember the bright magenta colour of the carpeting, the sunlight forming rectangles that moved slowly across the floor. As evening approached the shadows were violet. It was so beautiful, and quiet. Colour and nature continue to be sources of respite, strength and sometimes even joy.
I love reading posts in this thread, we really are a clever and lovely bunch! :yes:
If you're a new member and are ready to share, please add your post about why you chose the forum name you did.
these names represent, to me, so much hope, and something better that we can hang onto, even in the darkest of times. thanks so much for continuing to add to this thread - it really does bring hope and happiness to my heart, and, especially today, i was needing some. love and hugs filled with thankfulness for all of you. :grouphug:
I really like this thread! It's neat to see individual personalities and experiences come out through the choosing of names.
I chose "Pioneer" partially because we recently moved our family across the country to escape our abusers and to navigate a new life for our family. I also chose it because there is a song by King and Country called "Pioneers" were the two (brothers) singers sing with their wives, seeking to break down negative barriers and choose forgiveness in their relationship. My husband and I experienced our relationship to become heavily manipulated and damaged by our abusers, and we are seeking to restore our friendship and trust with each other. So, we will sometimes listen to and sing the song together.
Most of the lyrics say:
I am here, you are there, lying side by side
Out of touch, out of reach in the great divide
Parallel lines, ooh
Hear the rain, count the drops on the window pane
Wide awake, stale mate, why do we play this game?
Oh God, I hate this game
Throw open the doors
You know my heart is yours
What are we waiting for?
Yeah
Let's be pioneers
And we'll build our home
In the great unknown
Yeah
Let's be pioneers
There's a song that we sang on our honeymoon
I remember all the words but forgot the tune
Why are we out of tune?
Let's forgive and let's forgive again
I'm reaching out to my sweetest friend
Can we start again?
Mine came from a familial story that I have always questioned. Part of my family has fond childhood memories living in Bermuda as children, and playing with locals and learning their language. In short what I have uncovered as an adult is a bit more dark, but when I think of Bermuda, I think of a state of mind. The happy place with grass huts, and people collecting water on their roofs, and children unaware of the truth playing freely with each other. Bermuda to me is a carefree state of mind amid a troubling world and in a sense the original stories I heard growing up.
We've reached the 5 page limit on this thread so please post about why you choose your username in Part 2. Tks to San for starting this thread! :thumbup: