Our thread was getting overly long so am starting a new one.
Today I feel annoyed that my uNPDM whom I am LC with spewed a bunch of venom about my uNPDB in an email because they had a fight. It's just ludicrous that she is 89 and he is 63 and they are still fighting about the same kinds of things they did decades ago - gah! That's NPD for you though. I am so glad we are LC and I am no longer swept into that black hole of perpetual drama any more.
I have asked her repeatedly not to fill me in on this kind of thing but she "forgets" (tests to see if she can hook me into listening to her woes :dramaqueen:). So I will have to reinforce that boundary ....again. We need an eye roll emoticon. :yes:
Today I am feeling lost in my grief and perseverance.
They always seem to sabotage the healing part to each one because the dissociation stops me from doing the two at the same time.
I'm feeling like giving up.
Today I am feeling calm. I had my second session with my new second psychiatrist and learnt more about myself and the road to recovery.
During my quiet, dark breaks away from the world today I was able to relax and begin to feel parts of me that are in pain that my mind normally blocks from my consciousness.
Content.
Raw and tired and proud of myself. Strangely peaceful this evening despite an up and down day.
... that I am missing someone, but in a fulfilling sort of way.
...hopeful
Before calm, but now a nervous, angry and guilty. The (old?) therapist that ghosted me ended up contacting me today for an appointment.
I'm feeling angry because I tried to contact them to know when we could have an appointment, and they didn't even answer to the question, and then didn't wrote me or called me for two months. I'm feeling nervous because I have to write them I'm already seeing another therapist, and I have flashbacks each time I sense some sort of confrontation. And I'm feeling guilty because I feel angry at her, and I feel unsure if my anger is justified or not.