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Community Corner => The Cafe => Topic started by: Kizzie on October 25, 2017, 05:22:22 PM

Title: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Kizzie on October 25, 2017, 05:22:22 PM
... we moved far away from my uNPD FOO and are LC as there is a dramafest playing out currently.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Rainagain on November 11, 2017, 02:21:42 PM
I am grateful that I have been strong enough to carry on through difficult experiences.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Blueberry on March 16, 2018, 11:49:05 PM
I am grateful that there is another 'freelance colleague' near me who is willing to help me out sometimes. It's helpful for me to be able to outsource a tiny bit of my contract work sometimes. That way I can take on a contract and earn a little money. She doesn't even want to bill me for the last little bit of help, she just suggested I buy her a drink next time our local professional association meets up. This is very generous.

Although I don't think she really understands about CPTSD, she encourages me, says things like "hey, it's good you're trying this work again!" She's certainly not disparaging or anything.  :)
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Kizzie on March 29, 2018, 07:35:07 PM
... two new knees  ;D   Yesterday I went for a walk by the river - no cane or walker, and today I went for a bike ride - it's been years.  Huzzah! 
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Blueberry on March 29, 2018, 07:46:41 PM
 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:  :fireworks: :woohoo: Just in time for spring too!
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: radical on September 06, 2018, 04:05:54 AM
I'm very grateful to have had what so far has been wonderfully successful surgery, to feel much better than before and have almost no pain, just six days out, to have recovered a huge amount of function and sensation already, to be alive on  a glorious spring day, and to live in a country that provides medical treatment to citizens without charge.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Blueberry on September 06, 2018, 05:31:19 AM
Sounds great radical!
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Three Roses on September 06, 2018, 03:18:02 PM
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: SunnyDays on September 06, 2018, 05:14:12 PM
That I've found the beginning of a solution time ago, and today I'm closer to it.

And also because the sky is blue and the sun is shining in a warm way.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Laura90 on September 06, 2018, 06:38:05 PM
My poodle Merlin licks my tears and soothes me. I have professional support. I have 6 hours a week to work that is slowly building my self belief and responsibility.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Boy22 on September 28, 2018, 03:34:24 AM
That my neighbours are so kind and sharing. Today I have puppy sat their 3 month old golden retriever. We have been to a surf beach on the west coast and had a walk along the beach, the dog was overjoyed to have a new location to explore and fascinated by the waves. Then after my lunch time rest (back home in the dark and quiet) we went to a sculpture trail and explored that and some of the nearby fields.

We are back at the neighbours, I have made coffee and the dog is laid at my feet resting after an exciting day.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: milk on October 18, 2018, 01:03:58 AM
For a few (more than I ever thought possible) brilliant friends that continue to be there and the incredible sunsets and moonrise’s I get to see every day.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: milk on December 01, 2018, 09:40:50 PM
Today I am grateful for my mind. I have never shared this before or thought about it, till now. The inner critic tends to turn these thoughts down before I become aware of them — not today.

It is my mind that helps me to,...

recognize the difference between sadness and depression
know when I need help and what kind: yoga, meditation, good food, exercise,  medication or not
reflect/express myself through movement, speaking, writing, eating, sex, intimacy, drawing, photography
recall or look for information that can help me to make better decisions
pay attention to others and put my issues on the shelf
to trust the life I am making one change at a time
be patient



Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: milk on December 01, 2018, 10:43:57 PM
I am grateful for the forum and the people here. This place is helping me to work through my thoughts at a critical moment in life.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: woodsgnome on December 25, 2018, 04:56:57 PM
Today I'm grateful for ... a surprising discovery I made recently.

The biggest surprise of late ... an innocent note that was rediscovered. It literally fluttered out of an old journal into which I had put it several years ago. It was a thank you note from someone whose wife I had cared for during my time as a hospice volunteer. It concluded by reminding me that my compassion was noticed, deeply appreciated, and special.

What surprised me the most was how I was able to fully absorb what he wrote and not just resist it in my usual numbness. I seem to have lots of compassion per the comments he, and others, made. What I've never done is truly identify and accept that trait. My therapist has also frequently noted how I can't seem to take it in, to value its strong presence in my life. And especially pair it with self-compassion, which has been in short supply in my life.

I'm braced to fear surprises; I still hesitate at what I might find as the anxiety runs amok;  even compliments are so hard to handle. Then reminders show up, like the one just described. My takeaway is that surprises can be more than tension builders when they happen. Some remind me that love exists, and that even I have experienced it and, shockingly, even deserve it; for real.

Hope this makes sense. Mainly I needed to express my gratitude for this surprise, and not disregard it like I usually do ("bah humbug"). I'm so good at accepting the bad I see in myself, which I'm beginning to realize is an extremely sad remnant of abuse where I learned to fear. Still working to overcome this, and grateful that I've survived the impact, even if I need surprises to remind me.

Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Kizzie on December 25, 2018, 06:57:35 PM
So lovely Woodsgnome. I hope your Inner Critic will allow you to hear that I think of you as a wonderful and compassionate person I am grateful to know if only in cyberspace. :hug:
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: sj on December 26, 2018, 02:08:06 AM
what a wonderful thread

woodsgnome - I was warmed by your post and very happy for you to have had that particular surprise and accompanying insights. Thank you for sharing it  :)


Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: woodsgnome on December 26, 2018, 05:31:28 AM
Thanks for the reinforcing encouragement, Kizzie and sj.

So I feel like I can add another item I'm grateful for. That is the freedom to be me, to express myself here as I am -- insecure, still a bit scared but learning that it's okay to be vulnerable, too; that there really are others who 'get it'.

Thank you.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Hope67 on January 01, 2019, 07:07:20 PM
So I feel like I can add another item I'm grateful for. That is the freedom to be me, to express myself here as I am -- insecure, still a bit scared but learning that it's okay to be vulnerable, too; that there really are others who 'get it'.



That is great, Woodsgnome - I feel like I do 'get it' and I am grateful for this forum, and for people like you - I think you are very eloquent at expressing yourself, and you have a lovely nature. 


I am grateful today for

1) this forum and the wonderful people in it

2) the fact I got through Christmas and New Year - and although tired, I am ok!

3) I am hopeful for the future - in terms of finding a way to negotiate the effects of C-PTSD and moving forward in a way that feels more manageable than the past.


Hope  :)
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: sj on January 03, 2019, 11:00:12 AM
Today I am grateful for my increasing capacity to choose more healthy and supportive environments for myself.

I am grateful that since arriving in a new area a couple of months ago I have managed to connect with some really lovely, engaged, supportive people.

I'm grateful that the woman I am currently renting from seems to 'get' me and appreciates me being here, and grateful that she makes an effort to invite me to things, and understands when I say no.

I'm grateful that today she invited me to the local gorge where there is a wonderful fresh water swimming hole and that we had a refreshing swim after a hot summer day.

After a very trying time over the xmas period, exacerbated by a disappointing development with my F, I am grateful for today because today I could feel some lightness and hope, again, and a little return of confidence that I will be ok, that things are getting better, that my life might actually continue to be easier and more enjoyable.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Ecowarrior888 on May 20, 2019, 02:14:15 PM
I am grateful for the strength God gives me (not being preachy I promise, just stating what I am grateful for and He is a big part of it). I am grateful for my husband. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for my coworkers and even a local town celebrity that is on my side when it comes to work. I am grateful I have these people to help me cope and fight against the person that is bullying me at my job.
And...I am grateful for you all. I feel like I have a place where I can express all the darkness in my head. Not going to lie, this past week I have been on xanax almost every day and just I keep coming here to the forum and I have found so much support. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Three Roses on May 20, 2019, 04:36:09 PM
 :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: woodsgnome on May 20, 2019, 11:43:27 PM
Today I find myself in a familiar downburst of energy about trying to even go on, so identifying things to be grateful for seemed a bit of a stretch. But reading ecowarrior's entry above has flipped me, if not to a wholly positive mood, to at least considering the upside of the passing moment. Here goes ...

1. I slept okay, if still groggy. But okay is a major achievement.

2. I'm finishing some startlingly good reads, despite some vision troubles of late (I have leftover damage from glaucoma earlier in life).

3. I'm impressed with the observation from several of late about finding strength via this forum, despite its inclusion of the dark shadows we've endured. Just seeing people finding at least some relief simply by the token act of being allowed to honestly express and reflect on their journey better than they ever have makes for a grateful day. 
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Sasha on November 01, 2019, 08:06:18 PM
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Perplex on November 18, 2019, 03:33:13 AM
This is one of the things I feel is especially difficult for me to do - just be grateful. My FOO stated I had to be grateful of everything they did for me, abuse and all. Now it feels like a heavily damaged subject.
Perhaps I can turn it around slightly. I want to be grateful - not because of some 'lucky chance' that I've been brought into this world in a privileged society. I want to be grateful for MY actions and MY hard work.

I'm grateful that I can afford things with my own earned money.
I'm grateful that I try to work hard.
I'm grateful that I sought help to get myself out of bad relationships.
I'm grateful that I strive to love someone that really cares for me.

Yeah, that feels more comfortable.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: notalone on November 19, 2019, 02:17:41 AM
Perplex,
I like how you turned this around to a way that is honoring to you.
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Kizzie on November 19, 2019, 02:43:00 PM
 :yeahthat:    :thumbup:   
Title: Re: Today I am grateful .... (Part 3)
Post by: Hoffnung12 on January 03, 2020, 07:56:20 PM
that I have at least one friend at the end of the world, that is happy about having me in his life. I still fear that I am going to get hurt again, there are always things triggering me. I will keep my eyes open, it feels like I can never trust anybody again, because I always feel close to the wrong people, nevertheless it is nice to read that she cares.