Anyone relate? What may help?
I remember yesteday I had to pay 20€ because I forgot to pay my ticket before entering the trolley car...
I do relate, mentioned it to a GP who told me it was a menopausal symptom (she was obsessed, I am not there yet).
Can you clarify? I find I cannot remember names of things, people, but they return later. Plus I am completely at sea with mathematics but can sit and do a suduko puzzle. My intuition is spot on when other people have mislaid things. It gets worse with lots going on, I need space, time, quiet, hence the suduko which helps me to ignore everything else around me.
So, specific situations? Types of problems? Remembering?
http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=6450.0
Does this help?
Can't think, thinking is exhausting, feels like I have a fog in my head, everything feels unreal, problems with concentration, movement... feelings of confusion, like I don't know what's going on, inability to focus, memory problems, lack of mental clarity, anxiety...
Quote from: Gromit on December 27, 2017, 04:54:15 PM
http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=6450.0
Does this help?
Can't read everything, can't concentrate
Hi blancalap,
I can relate, my memory is hopeless, I forget if I have done things or not, then I do dissociate as well which doesn't help.
Get plenty of rest if you can, it helps me to recognise and accept that I have no memory and not to blame myself when I forget simple things, like words, or what year it is.......
Thanks Rainagain, I try to.
Quote from: BlancaLap on December 27, 2017, 04:58:44 PM
Can't think, thinking is exhausting, feels like I have a fog in my head, everything feels unreal, problems with concentration, movement... feelings of confusion, like I don't know what's going on, inability to focus, memory problems, lack of mental clarity, anxiety...
I have most of that, some of the time. I'm back in a period of exhaustion atm and find i've forgotten some basic facts I know e.g. the names of a friend's pets. That's not essential information, so OK to forget if it allows my brain to get back on track. But still feels weird. And I feel ashamed. How could I forget sth that's so important to a friend? I'm too young for Alzheimer's. it's not Alz. anyway.
In my teens it was like that most of the time. I don't know how I finished high school and graduated from university, but I did. Occasionally there were days of clarity, and wow what a difference.
What helped? Moving far, far away from FOO and eventually therapy. I remember when I was first in counselling, I said my head felt empty - that's really the way it felt - but the counsellor suggested that actually my head was really really full. She was right. Things improved when I started to get those voices and memories out of my head.
Quote from: Blueberry on December 27, 2017, 08:36:38 PM
What helped? Moving far, far away from FOO and eventually therapy. I remember when I was first in counselling, I said my head felt empty - that's really the way it felt - but the counsellor suggested that actually my head was really really full. She was right. Things improved when I started to get those voices and memories out of my head.
Thanks Blueberry, I think that is really helpful information.
I wonder about Alzheimer's too, its pretty similar I think.
But I'm not too bothered, deal with it if I need to.
Think the meds don't help either, are you on meds blanca, can't remember....
Quote from: Rainagain on December 27, 2017, 09:41:43 PM
Think the meds don't help either, are you on meds blanca, can't remember....
Yes I am, olanzapine and fluoxetine, but I'm trying to leave them. They don't seem to help me...
I didn't find fluoxetine to be too bad for side effects but it varies so widely between people.
Not heard of olanzapine, a lot of drugs can have a sedating effect though which will bash up your memory.
You can be sure lots on here have memory issues just from meds never mind the actual disorder, I think I do and some stuff I have had is totally outrageous.
High amatryptiline dosage left me like a zombie.
Quote from: Rainagain on December 27, 2017, 10:00:45 PM
High amatryptiline dosage left me like a zombie.
Sorry to hear that. Olanzapine have * me up too, I'm gonna leave it and maybe keep with fluoxetine. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not take olanzapine.
I'm no therapist, this is only based on my personal experience, but as far as I know, Olanzapine can definitely do that.
And taking Olanzapine strengthens the effects of Fluoxetine, so they both may have something to do with it.
They can lessen pain for sure, but I find they can also really strengthen dissociation.
I took meds in the past but I slowly, gradually stopped taking them because I felt they weren't worth the side effects. They numbed my pain which was good, but they also took away my strength to deal with pain so I felt weaker and more frustrated.
Without them I feel more awake, my memory is better, I'm less numbed.
I have more pain, I remember more traumatic experiences from my past, I'm more aware of EF's in the present, I feel a lot of emotions... many of them are very overwhelming and hard to manage, but I also have more strength to deal with it all. If that makes sense. I'm stronger without the meds. I'm in pain but I'm more present with my pain.
I also feel I have better self control without them. I have more emotional stability and more patience and trust in my ability to bounce back after a flashback or intense pain.
I'm really glad I tried meds, taking them wasn't a mistake. It was a good idea to try them, now I know I tried everything that was available. It helped me figure out what's right for me and what isn't.
Quote from: ah on December 29, 2017, 09:17:10 AM
I'm no therapist, this is only based on my personal experience, but as far as I know, Olanzapine can definitely do that.
Now that I remember, I got stuck in dissociation when I started taking olanzapine, so I don't know if it was because of the abuse or because of the medication now... the only thing I know is that I'm so angry at psychiatrists... I'm angry at the psychiatrist that gave me olanzapine... so angry...
Quote from: Rainagain on December 27, 2017, 09:41:43 PM
I wonder about Alzheimer's too, its pretty similar I think.
In my case, it certainly isn't Alzheimer's. My psychiatrist said it couldn't be. The symptoms certainly start out differently. I would be having more and different problems if it were Alz. The symptoms also go up and down a bit. From decade to decade I mean. That's not Alzheimer's either.
I think I've had depersonalisation since childhood with all the typical symptoms that come with it.
These are the symptoms I've experienced on and off: brain fog, absolutely zero or very weak short term memory, sudden racing thoughts, feeling "unable to think", like my mind is completely blank no matter how much I force it (I've been close to bumping into cars when driving when this has happened). Also blurry vision, tunnel vision, "snow flakes" over vision, experiencing the world as flat. Also dizziness, coordination problems, problems speaking in coherent sentences, thoughts and words spinning around in loops, feeling trapped in my head and disconnected from my body, and feeling like I'm watching the world and everything that happens through a thick and blurry pane of glass.
I realised something had become very wrong with my cognition in my late teens, when I began to struggle in school. Before that I found learning fairly easy though I still had the symptoms. Alcohol and bad living habits makes it far more severe, and stress of course, which is what causes it in the first place I've learned. Whenever I've managed to do well with sticking to healthy habits I've felt the fog clear somewhat. I really hope this is treatable...
It's also one of my mother's favorite things to attack me with. Once when I worried she said she "used to cry all the time" when I was a child because of how bad my memory was, as if I was severely disabled. I've been terrified that that's true. She works with children after all. But I try to tell myself it's depersonalisation, I've had it since childhood, so if she really did cry because of whatever problems I had, it was because of this, and it is treatable.
I'm sure my father was furious he had a hold with these problems. He thought people with whatever challenges that made them "weak" deserved to die - like a nazi.
Well, if he were alive I'd gladly follow that idea, in one special case.
Quote from: hereforhope on December 29, 2017, 06:02:43 PM
I think I've had depersonalisation since childhood with all the typical symptoms that come with it.
Me too
Quote from: hereforhope on December 29, 2017, 06:02:43 PM
These are the symptoms I've experienced on and off: brain fog, absolutely zero or very weak short term memory, sudden racing thoughts, feeling "unable to think", like my mind is completely blank no matter how much I force it (I've been close to bumping into cars when driving when this has happened). Also blurry vision, tunnel vision, "snow flakes" over vision, experiencing the world as flat. Also dizziness, coordination problems, problems speaking in coherent sentences, thoughts and words spinning around in loops, feeling trapped in my head and disconnected from my body, and feeling like I'm watching the world and everything that happens through a thick and blurry pane of glass.
I have most of that too.
Quote from: hereforhope on December 29, 2017, 06:02:43 PM
I'm sure my father was furious he had a hold with these problems. He thought people with whatever challenges that made them "weak" deserved to die - like a nazi.
Your father sounds like a very traumatic person
hereforhope, your father sounds like my father's lost twin. :spooked:
No wonder you have depersonalisation growing up in such an environment.
As for psychiatrists, this is just my personal experience, it's undeniably been negative... so it's not objective in the slightest:
I guess they do their best with what they have, and they strongly believe in their discipline. I respect that. But it's not even funny that the meds they themselves give can cause side effects that can mimic psychiatric symptoms, so you get more and more treatment :doh: how do you get out of such cyclical logic? I don't know.
Many years ago, I remember a psychiatrist treated me abusively and when I tried to respond he said I had uncontrollable anger problems and wanted to treat my "new symptom". Beh... not even funny, that. I was just angry, not every emotion or conflict is a mental problem. I learned to be super cautious around psychiatrists since then. The very few times I met any in the years that passed I was always nice and polite, and impersonal. They deeply believe in their discipline so I respect their good intentions, but I don't share their beliefs. I feel the science behind it is a bit shaky, not strong enough yet for me to be convinced beyond the need for belief. Everything I've been reading about trauma and cptsd leaves me thinking psychiatry has a lot more to learn. Personally for me, psychology has much more to offer.
I have no doubt that if meds helped me feel stronger I'd feel very differently, I'd be grateful I could take them. But that's the thing, maybe. The way it feels to me, cptsd isn't psychiatric, it's physiological. Whenever I manage to calm down my body, I notice all of my cptsd symptoms become significantly weaker. I have to keep doing it repeatedly because abuse has left me very stressed and scared, but psychiatry can't help me with my fear. Knowledge about trauma, and psychology help me a lot personally, and so does mindfulness meditation.