Whew, so I recently figured out I had become dependent on Ativan (wasn't abusing, but used it near daily for 4-5 months) and it became extremely clear to me that it was playing a major role in destabilizing me because it's short acting. It did help me a lot, it really did keep me alive at points. I really did try almost every other psych drug on the market and had horrific effects and reactions. So now I'm dealing with switching to a long acting benzo (valium) to taper off gradually. That's a whole other hellish thing. I"m being compassionate with myself but I also just wanted to say that the withdrawals from the Ativan are horrific for me and I have got to completely get off of all benzos now and never go back, and it's going to take a long, long time to do this. The education on this has been beyond enlightening. I never, ever had a problem with occasional valium use in the past but the doctors wouldn't listen to me when I said that's what I needed so here I go again.
Glad to hear you're clear of the benzo's now. Back when I bought wholly into the western model, and was unaware of C-PTSD, I allowed my GP to put me on them, and I've been on Clonazepam for way too long. SSRI's do nothing for me. I decreased, slowly down to the end, but became fearful and perhaps even paranoid, so increased them again. I know that they are not helpful in the long-term, but coming off of them in an "unsafe" environment (lack of emotional regulation, a not-strong-enough witness yet built, lack of support (everybody says, "take your meds")), makes this a dreadful proposition. I have since started to take a great variety of herbs to help restore the nervous system, but sure wish that I could be assured that if the sht hits the fan, I'm not back to square one again. Easy to start- not so easy to stop :bigwink:
Best of luck and wishing you courage and patience.....as I also need!
Ditto the previous comment, about to the "T". Down to 1/2 mg at night for a month; thought that'd be a reasonable taper as I've previously done. After doing away with the last 1/2 mg (from 1mg, 3x's daily-for years (western model thinking))- :doh:--felt like paranoia. Since then, I've gone back to 1/2 3x's...gradually, and as stated in previous comment, it seems I need a safe-enough place to do this....perhaps out in nature. I dunno...this is not an easy ride and yet, I'm a little bit at the wheel? Good to know I'm not alone and saddened that so many are living a comparable nightmare.
I am on 1mg clonazepam daily, increased to 1.5mg at times of prolonged stress. I do not feel I am dependent on benzos as I am doing the necessary work to heal myself and when I have then will be the time to taper off and stop them. Not before.