Messages

 

I think you are so right and I am sending all the good vibes from the left coast that you can find a good T soon to help you titrate these feelings so the pain can be released and you can feel all the emotions you need to without being disabled by them. 

Was basically going to say the same as Marcine. I'm sorry you are getting these. Ive had migraines since I was about 13 and I'm almost 48 now. They are far less severe now than they were. But yeah that pain is unbearable and overwhelming.

The 2 things that helped were 1. Not being stubborn about pain management and not waiting to see if maybe it goes away on its own. The first sign of pain I need to take something and not wait and see. I may need to take something several days in a row but it's better than the pain coming back full-fledged. I had a bad reaction to migraine medication so just stick with advil and Tylenol and sometimes have to take them both...usually 2 advil and then an hour or two later two Tylenol.

2. The other thing that helped was paying closer attention to the emotional triggers because usually there was some kind of trigger...and yeah like Marcine said ... emotional flashbacks. So I would start to pay attention and track like Marcine did what was happening before I got the migraine and then tend to that issue. It's like if we can't resolve the emotional issue it turns into massive physical pain.

Good luck figuring this out (including DollyVee's suggestion to look at potential allergen triggers too) and I hope they get better for you

 

Yeah, no, this was abuse. Your mom sounds like mine. And probably a lot of other people's mom on here. I'm sorry. I hope you are out of the situation now but I understand all too well how this personality type keeps pulling you in even after you are physically free. A mom's job is to worry about her children, not the other way around.

 

I'm so glad it is going well and you found someone skilled in tapering.

Great to see you
 

Anxiety attacks. 

Always blew my mind that I could have such bad attacks and not even notice what the trigger was.

Good job in school and good job taking a day off to rest when you needed it.

 

Stunning. Beautiful.

 

Me too. I've frozen time back home so I can be here guilt free and just have a sense that everything is ok right now. 

Good luck with the IEP meeting. I hope it goes/went OK. Those used to really really stress me out with my daughter's team. I'd get a major shame attack like they know it's me and I'm messed up and it's my fault. Then I'd think about my husband all handsome and in a suit and perfect looking and acting and it would feel even worse. I seem to get less triggered now during them after a few years. Next one is in a week. We'll see how it goes

It sounds like your concerns are less shame based and more about services and keeping a poker face but I shared that just on the off chance that this is also something you are experiencing with the IEP meeting.

I hope the pain of the errant stitch lessens and you get some certainty ASAP.

You are an amazing writer. I hope you are able to go more public with that talent sometime.

 

Not a fail. Just try socializing with less rigid friends. It was probably a wee bit retraumatiizng even to put yourself in that setting.

Hi I don't have much helpful to share. Kizzie covered the resources and the reassurance that it is 100% ok to ask here. 

I've had symptoms that a less calm therapist might have jumped to conclusions about with psychosis. I was lucky that he understood them to be trauma symptoms and not true psychosis and never was placed on medications.

Mostly it was "hallucinations" that were auditory, visual, and sensory flashbacks made much much worse by the lack of sleep from ptsd. I'm guessing your symptoms are much more disruptive and wish you luck with settling them slowly as you heal. 

Ack I'm so sorry your sleep has been so bad! That makes everything worse. I hope you are able to.sleep better tonight. 

So much relatable content here...it doesn't change that it sucks but hopefully there's some comfort that this is so so common in cptsd. It isn't you being messed up but the side effect of surviving terrible things.

I hope the new meds work better. Good job figuring it out!   

Oh yeah definitely relate to that! My husband still remembers in high school when he had a crush on me and I drove away with my car door, driver's side, wide-open. He thought it indicated I was equally smitten with him. 

It's nice to have the right explanation and to know it can get better as the underlying traumas get processed and the underlying parts do better at integrating or at least sharing consciousness.

Good luck in your journey! I'll try to stop by here and there. I mostly hang in the private journals section these days or where I've already responded to a thread as those pop up first.

 

I haven't been active since you joined to forum so just saying "hi" nice to meet you for now. Frank sounds perfect and amazing. And I relate very much to the clumsiness and forgetfulness of dissociation. Mine has gotten a lot better. I rarely set off our smoke detector now or drop things. Still smash into walls though.