Messages

11-11-2024

Been lets see about 2 weeks since I started on dirty carnivore.  There are times that a wee bit o carb, and that tooth will not shut up until I have a bit.  Definitely has reset the taste buds though.  Things like raisins at one point wasn't that "sweet" to me and now ... mouth almost puckers from the sweet. Like weekend breakfasts which was 1st breakfast on the farm. 2 piece toast where it's soggy with butter, 2 sausage patties (small) per piece with 2 fried in butter eggs.  That will currently run me most of the day.  Start getting peckish round 5 or so.  No crash, no hunger pangs, Brain steady, been noticing that I want to move more and when I do it's easier and way less recoup time after.  Went on walk with the doggo and bar napkin figuring did about 1 1/4 mile in about a hour, maybe a tickle over.  We were covering some ground there, you know? 

Radar is still higher than usual.  I know that I'm on a list somewhere.  I can not, not be just based on the creators I listen to, orgs that I used to be a member of, some orgs that I have donated to, passport, and IDK why the thought of getting something in case of and that whole background check crap has always given me pause for some reason.  Now though.. eh (insert cuss word here) 'em!

Wishing all here all the best

Numbers don't lie but liars can do statistics. I'm a hard skeptic when it comes to any narrative anymore.

So absolutely true. I wish we didn't have to doubt the validity of everything these days but alas.

Regards,
Aphotic.

AphoticAtramentous,

Indeed.  Personally I look at motives when I'm evaluating information and where that info is coming from.  The typical fame, money, power, clout, social cred, etc.  Doesn't hurt that I'm the sort to seek out whats behind the curtain as it were.  The lockdowns were a hard trigger for me.  Especially since the data coming out about that whole mess is like..     For me, if people that have acted in illegal ways were outed and held accountable, my trust would be somewhat restored with the various institutions of current year.  With some glaring exceptions like legacy media, most social media, still haven't made up my mind about X though.  I think that in the arc of history, the gen pop of the USA have been propagandized to a point where it's become so painfully obvious that more and more folks are finally starting to see through the BS.  Or is that me hoping against hope?   

Wishing all here all the best

Armee,
If you find a link or some lead on something that throws gummy bears (which kind tho?  The normal ones or the 'special' kind?) let me know. 

Seriously though, what I've been seeing and hearing it appears to me like cult members refusing to be deprogrammed.  Definitely folks who do not unplug and go touch grass.  Or is it personality disordered people finally revealing themselves?  Some of it reminds me of the former spouse's behavior.  Been a while since my threat radar for external avenues has been this spun up. You know the hair on the back of the neck level stuff.  I know the stats aren't good in the gen pop of the USA as far as "issues" either personality wise or other disorders.  I take the those stats with a large grain of salt tho.  Take into account the profit motive of big pharma and big therapy and how the narrative has been crafted in modernity?  Numbers don't lie but liars can do statistics. I'm a hard skeptic when it comes to any narrative anymore.

If I could, I would like to be in a rural farming / ranching area or at least in a area that has a bit better grasp on basic facts, better tethered to the real. You know?  Thankfully, the 'hood where I'm located is working class, lots of trades.  Even so.  I think I'll definitely be looking at some sort of something for self protection at a distance.  Along with training to get 'good' at it.

Wishing all here all the best.

11-7-2024

I'm really really concerned about society at the moment.  Like what is going on with some people?  I knew that there was a certain cohort of people in the USA that have 'issues' but holy crap you know?  What is so freaking triggering?  Man, with what I've been hearing.. I'm starting to get concerned about my personal safety.  I'm really seriously considering of acquiring something that perhaps isn't lethal but something.

Nov 4 2024
something has come to the fore, which is thusly:  I want to stay in this realm for as long as I can. The second part is that while the "job" current or future is a means to pay the obligations, I'm not really seeing a 'mission' there.  Like what is a over-arching 'thing' that I should be working towards? On? or Maybe I'm not explaining it well.  Another splinter in the mind to work on.

Wishing all here all the best.   

Thanks SH. I'm gonna get an appointment with the eye doctor before I have to buy a cane. Looked up ivermectin. Good to know about. Prescriptions = control. Control = money. But I'm lecturing to the academy...

Indeed.  control and more control.  I get the thing concerning safety.  However... Looking at the track record of FDA  approval, yeah.  (insert cuss word here) 'em!  The number of people that have died from a "medication" / "treatment" .. I don't understand why the general public has the level of trust that it does with the entire so called medical system (including big pharma)  the lockdowns have brought that down some.  Hard to imagine that in the USA on average 700,000 people die every year from the medical / big pharma.   Another thing that I have looked at is the profit model of certain industries. That explains sooooo much.

Wishing all here all the best

What's the uv block for? Screens? Me too my eyes are going south...

The glasses I have to wear for work don't have any of the good stuff applied to them.  No UV block, near uv block, no anti-glare, etc.  Depending on the day I may only look at a screen at work for a couple of hours distributed, other days it's the entire shift.  Then the TV which also throws a tremendous amount of blue light, mobile device, and then also working on school work which requires a screen for that as well. 

Yes, the blue light emitted by screens messes with ya.  It sends a signal to the brain that it's like noon. That will mess with sleep. 

Also found out that ivermectin has potential for controlling / removing clumps of unregulated cells that grow without limit. In humans and doggies.  Need to get some, somehow, for my doggo.  Skin stuff and with the possible of side effects as low as they are, with the possible benefit of taking care of that.. yeah. Personally with the track record it has for safety.. why does us humans need a Rx to get it? 

Wishing all here all the best.

26 Oct 2024

Busy day yesterday.  Had run here to do that and then run there to do this and it's all ok.  Been pecking away at a college course and me noggin .. I know I will get it, it's getting there.. you know?  Spent 45 min to a hour on it so far today. Less call of nature break.  I think I'll go shopping.  There is a natural grocer that has pasture fed / finished meats.  Need to lay in some I reckon.  Nah, the commercial stuff.. hard pass.  I also think they carry raw milk as well.  that would be good. 

Me peepers been bothering me.  Need to get in to a place and get the Rx checked.  The rest of the poop.. eh don't care because most of what comes outta their mouth is an attempt to scare me into things and nah, they can piss off.  +

Have some UV block over glasses coming along with a tri-field meter.  Gonna get myself learned up and start taking some steps to reduce my emf / magnetic field /rf exposure. 

Wishing all here all the best

Chart,

Wee bit confused.  By developmental trauma are you talking like childhood or the 1/4 century I spent with the former spouse?  Or perhaps both? 

I've done the genetic genealogy and pieced some stuff together and I can say now that the relation(feces) with the former spouse was me, finally closing that pattern.  Oh yeah, genetic mother -> 2cd mother -> former spouse.  (insert cuss word here) est thing, with just the data off ancestry whooo, added to the info I got personally from surviving members of genetic mom's family, not. good. at. all. Lots o' fecal matter of the self destructive kind. Nope, not in contact with them.  Kinda expected you know.  A walking, talking, skeleton from a particular closet. Using ancestry was able to track down some 1/2 siblings on genetic fathers side.  Sent letters etc.  figured it would be easier on everybody.  Yeah, same thing.  Lots of parental alienation there.  Since genetic father ... old term was "a rolling stone". Ahem. 

Really weird to me even now.  two married people, not to each other, and here I am.  Collateral from the so called adults decisions.  Sometimes I wonder about how the idea that we go through what we go through because of some soul level contract / soul learning thing.  I also wonder about like the idea of past life stuff and this one is balancing the scales for a previous one.  Both in some ways are victim blaming in my opinion.

Have you heard of Shawn Ryan?  Former military and a 3 letter agency operative.  PTSD, functional alcoholic, .. and he's stated on his podcast/streaming channels that certain psychedelics, and he was able to (in his words that I've cleaned up) "remove his brain case from his rectum".  Ron White the comedian has done soul vine, Soooo maybe in a year or 3, I can have an experience with a plant teacher that will result in me being fully mended not just functional.  That I imagine would be really really good.

Wishing all here, all the best.

Chart, Little2Nothing,

Isn't it amazing the link between gut and brain?  I've been looking into this guy Dr. Jack Kurse.  Really going into some additional areas like the link of sunlight and gut and brain.  DHA, iodine, EMF, circadian rhythm.  A lot ties into what carnivores, paleo and keto reports as well.  Been thinking about it and before former spouse my typical was higher fat and protein and not much carbs.  Hmm, I wonder if my exposure to a carb addict over the years pushed me into being one as well.  No lie, I do have a tooth for good chocolate. Which also now is iffy because of the oxalates.  I have learned to stay the (insert fav cuss word here) away from seed oils.  Tropical oils if needed is ok.  There is a butcher shop pretty close to work.  Pasture raised and then corn finished.  Plus need to get a air fryer apparently. 

I'm definitely wayyyyy better than I was a year ago let alone 2 years ago.  Trying to piece it together, you know?

Wishing all here all the best. 

Indeed Chart.

Been looking into the paleo - keto - carnivore and what has really sprang out at me is that change in peoples mental state.  Yes, I know that it's all anecdotal but holy smokes, when you drill down into it, what isn't?  Folks with severe stuff like schizophrenia, DID, etc, get better.  Not to mention the mass of people that have self reported that mood, outlook, less anxiety, all better.  Couple's trying to conceive including IVF, and change the eats and wham.. I think there is something to this.  I know that when I go heavy on carbs, the mood the next day is poopy. Have more aches / pains which it seems that carbs trigger a inflammation response on a body wide scale.  What's that doing to my thinking meat? 

Been through several changes in what I ate over the years.  There for a while because the former spouse pushed it, vegan, then modified vegan, then typical stuff, then keto (which she gained weight on because she would mindlessly eat in front of the TV.  And not like jerky or chittlen's, her fav was heavenly hunks a soft cookie, 1 piece was like 250 calories, a bag was like 50 of them, at times she'd eat the entire bag)   While I lost weight on keto, felt pretty good overall when I was doing it.  I think of what I would typically eat on the farm and it was high fat medium protein and minimal carbs.  I think I'll see if I can do that again.  Have to say that evening is when my carb desire comes on strong.  May have to tweak things to fit what the body needs.  Why not?  Have to say, seeing guys in their 50's look like their in their 30's?  And I've found out about some other things that I didn't know about before like oxolates, which drive a lot of bad things in the human body and they come from plants and they also build up in the body.  Man, so yeah, food pyramid, bogus, totally industry driven propaganda.  I've known for a while now to not trust them gooberment types but (insert favorite cussword here)!  This week is a pay week and usually go shopping.. Time to lay in some different eats and see how I do. 

Wishing all here all the best

Oct 18 2024

Deep Purple's song smoke on the water is bouncing around the thinking meat at the moment.  Weather has changed a bit.  Might get some rain today which would be a good thing.  Normally this area is dry like in the 15-20% range for humidity, gets worse when the rains don't come.  I hope that the winter season will bring some. 

Back is better, still flares from time to time.  Been noticing that it even flares if I have a bit too much to eat as well.  Maybe the subconscious has decided that I need a negative reinforcement to get me heading in a better direction.  Have to say that quality organic fair trade chocolate is a weakness of mine.  Found a middle ground I think.  It's like a snickers bar w/o all the sugar.  Since I have been out of the fog on relationships with those with a personality disorder, that process has all been going on with the situation that I find myself in.  There are times that.. well, I feel as if those institutions I trusted betrayed me.  Food, health care, banking, gooberment.  Milk you get from a store ain't milk outta the cow, same with other food products.  I need to change my eating some anyhow.  What's the saying?  Oh yeah, it's 80% diet and 20% exercise.  Back to the 80/20 rule aka the Pareto principle. Chlorine in drinking water is bad enough but to add a non-natural form of fluoride that has been proven to be not good for any living beings health? Stopping here, if I continue I'll be going down another rabbit hole which is actually legit.  No theories about it. 

Wishing all here, all the best

10-16-2024

Doggo has settled down.  Did get some pheromone based and essential oils doggo chill spray.  I've tried many different 'treats' for chilling out a doggo.  The stinker will not eat em.. Blach. 

The onion has started to peel again.  More old stuff coming out.  Another of the passes through this spiral.

Wishing all here all the best

13 Oct 2024

My Doggo is going through some stuff. I really don't know what to make of it.  It's like he gets scared but instead of wanting to curl up next to me, he wants to stand on me.  He's not a lightweight either.  I got some of the calming pheromones, one that is like one of those scent plug in's, a pump spray and even a aroma therapy spray.  The hood is quiet.  Can't get a bead on correlation / causation.  Like I really don't know.  He has full range of the place, doggie door to go into the fenced back yard, After the move to the new place, this behavior lessened a great deal.  I figured that he was picking up on all the negativity that the former spouse was puking.  Sigh.  Days get rough when he decides to wake me up multiple times a night.  Maybe my google-fu will turn something up. 

Wishing all here all the best

10-11-2024

Ran across something about corona ejection events from the sun and how that affects us emotionally, mentally, and even physically.  I know that doesn't really fit into the narrative that us humans are somehow above the influence of nature yet we have been shown time and time again that isn't the case.

 I wonder if Robert E Howard (the genius behind Conan the Barbarian) exposition through the character of Conan is something to be considered.  Conan stated that "barbarism is humanities natural state".  There are many things in modernity that are super duper convenient.  Like I texted my brother from another mother the other day and he's currently overseas unbeknownst to me, and the frickin text went through. Had a text convo.  That's some infrastructure there you know? The ability to access the information that's available on the internet?  Dude! 

 For human health and wellness though... Maybe I see it different because I grew up pre digital revolution on a farm.  there wasn't the level of sickness back then that there is now.  I know the cope is the supposed better diagnostics, medical and mental health has progressed forward.  But has it really?   To me I see more pills being marketed to manage, not cure mind you, manage xyz symptoms.  Add in the shifting definitions of words (which is totally intentional) yeah. We've "progressed"  A line from a Ozzy Osbourne song keeps echoing, going forward in reverse.  Totally fits Orwell's concept of 1984 newspeak. 

No concern for long term impacts from weird chemicals in the food, pesticides that are killing off the bees, microplastics accumulating in the reproductive organs of all species, yet the hooting and hollering about this long term disaster that's looming in 100 years because of xyz which doesn't hold up to the evidence that is available soooo just another money grab. 

I have thought that for a long time what I see in the modern day is broken.  It's not broken it's doing exactly what it was designed to do.  Inflation is stealing purchasing power, the average person in the country where I live is on some sort of prescription to the tune of 60% roughly, the same bozos are on the boards of both food companies and pharmaceutical companies.  Like.. (insert fav cuss phrase here) Same folks on the boards of big oil and big plastic. 

Meanwhile, personal responsibility and personal liberty have been curtailed over the years all in the name of (we have to save ______ or that's so unfair ______ or we have to protect _______)   All psychological tricks to allow certain groups of people more control.  To me it's no wonder why the average joe is having emotional / mental distress.  I think all the current factors have converged to where the new dream is to leave such modernity and go to places in the world where the reach of modern feces doesn't reach / very slight influence.

sigh.

Wishing all here all the best