Messages

Thank you all for the encouragement

Hi. I was raised by emotionally disturbed low income uneducated parents. Physical/verbal abuse was the norm and living conditions were unimaginable. Not a single good/pleasant memory comes to my mind. They were different in styles. He was the aggressor and she was the "victim" but later in life I realized how manipulative she was and how blind I was. In hindsight I can now see how she used blame, guilt, shame, impossible expectations to manipulate my way of thinking. I forgive them, although we don't keep in touch. Now I have a 6 and 2 year old and it is very hard for me to stop feeling down. I think I am doing ok as a parent since I do the opposite of what my parents did and more importantly, they seem happy and loved. But it is becoming extremely hard to avoid flashbacks as my older son grows to an age I can remember. As older he gets, the more pain I feel because it reminds me of when I was his age.