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I'm happy to see this discussion. Medical MJ is awesome for intrusive thoughts, it dissolves them immediately and gives a sense of well being so I could at least see what well being felt like! It is legal in my state. I am happy to say though that after 3 years, I am stimulant, alcohol (35+ yrs) and drug free. Am I normal member of society? No. I have issues and probably always will. I also have a lot of issues with what society considers normal. I had a sociopath mother, sister, absent alcoholic father since age 2 and didn't meet him until 27, I liked him but it was too late. We were good friends who understood each other and were very much alike.

I married verbally abusive narcissists 2x for a grand total of about 50+ years of abuse. A slow learner, I only figured it out a few years ago, about 5. I divorced my husband - we were together for 20 torturous and numb years. I am terrified of men but just starting to see I am attracting different types now, not angry, yay!. I have isolated in order to not have anyone taking up space in my head but me, so I could focus on healing. I've lost many friends, all of them I ended the relationships after seeing toxic behavior and laying down my boundaries. I find deliberately saying "no" to small things helps tremendously in being able to see most people don't get upset and it actually makes me stronger when they do! I have no issue saying no to anything now. Boundaries make life very manageable. I've become a warrior for myself realizing nobody else cares about me like I do. Also, that I no longer care about others and obsess over them and what I can do for them. It's very freeing. I can't handle stress and I'm an insomniac. I am able to dial myself way back and live in the moment and observe what others are really about before I become attached or involved.

I have been NC with entire family for 30+ years. I have found peace in CoDA meetings of late and I can honestly say I love myself, and all of my emotions. I welcome ALL of them as I will sit and "interview them" as to why they are present and what do they want to teach me? I have a new group of friends now and they are fun. I am normally a fun person with a survival sense of humor, and they know about my cptsd and continue to invite me to do fun things for which I am very grateful.

I am not ready to date and have no desire for a sexual relationship and don't know that I ever will. I do feel many of life's pleasures have been ruined for me as they are now triggers and I don't trust men at all. I do have a great relationship with my higher power and I can honestly say I am thrilled with my life and would not trade it for the life of anyone else. I am starting to make male friends and the jury is still out.

It has been a long road, I suspect I have had cptsd my entire life, but am grateful for everything that has been my journey. I am an artist and it is finally weaving its way into my work and giving it meaning and depth, and seems to have tied my life together. I am able to catch myself now when I am in a flashback, when I idealize someone and I now feel, thanks to Pete Walker's book, that I have the tools to manage it, but will never be rid of it, it's a friend now with gifts of its own. I am proud of how far I've come in 5 years after searching for that one thread that would unravel my personal misery since my teens. It is worthwhile ton of work and I've read over 75 books easily over the last 5 years. But I am finally alive, not numb, I'm confident, speak my mind, I'm honest and vulnerable and unafraid, except for men.  I'll take it. Peace within to all.

Hi,  I'm new and just finishing Pete Walker's book on cptsd. I have had a Medical MJ license for 2 years now. I treat it as medicine, not recreational. I was able to get it for my buldging discs in my back and happily have not had to take pain meds for my back more than 5x over the last 2 years! I found one or two puffs of 'sativa,' the happy strain, as opposed to 'indica,' the go to sleep strain, will diminish intrusive thoughts immediately and create an incredible amount of relief in less than a minute and last about an hour and a half.

I use an edible indica infused brownie slice to go to sleep.  One brownie will last me about a week.  I was sleeping only 4 hours a night for 10 years.  After an acupuncturist prescribed a tea to cleanse my liver of anger, which in Chinese medicine, anger is stored in the liver, based on what part of the body is supposed to be healing/rejuvenating when I woke up between 1:30 & 2 a.m., I did the tea for 2 months.  I suddenly started to cry about sad things, hadn't cried in years. I slept gradually a little longer.  I still use the mj to sleep but will sleep about 6-7 hours now, very nice!

Eventually, I would like to be off of everything. I drink wine too, one or 2 glasses a day, early evening.  Other than that, I am a health nut.

This was a particularly hard holiday stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas as I have started to feel emotions again. I have been NC with my N mother for over 30 years now, as well as my N sister for over 25 years.

I did not realize my "no picture" flashbacks were flashbacks! OMG, what a relief to discover, I have been having them since my early childhood, constantly.  I have worked hard to get well over the last 3 years after divorcing my N husband of 20 years.  I am finally getting it and trying to rebuild my life.  It has been a struggle but a glorious time of understanding and personal growth.

I want to say if you can get MJ in your state give it a try. I do experience a rapid heartbeat sometimes which is annoying but also worth it for the relief.  It is strong stuff, much stronger than my younger years and needs to be respected as a medicine.