Messages

Practically speaking, this person should have been able to provide proof of payment - even a screenshot showing the amount from her bank account would be sufficient. If it was a legit mistake then it is easily proven, and this person should be able to back up what they say. As the person who asked for the favor, they should be minimally considerate enough to volunteer proof.

It is a perfectly normal reaction to be angry and feel betrayed when you help somebody out just to get the runaround, be avoided, etc.  As a cosigner, I don't know if you can get off the loan or not especially if the account is delinquent. You might contact the company directly to find out what is going on.

Your issues are definitely real and dont let anyone tell you different. I am new here too and was also worried about being slighted. I have had trained therapists dismiss me too.

That self hatred is hard to overcome. I still have my moments, but I try to  keep my journal handy as a reminder. (I wrote down my flashblacks as I remembered more - I have a science brain so...). It is not pleasant and sometimes downright hard to read, but it reminds me in no uncertain terms that my anger belongs with the perpetrator not toward myself.

I remember periods of time when I did that calorie deprevation and hated my body. That seems to be a side effect of the disease. Our perspectives are super skewed. I have a couple items of "feel good" clothes/jewelry for those days. It can be anything - just something that makes you feel confident or very comfortable or even a soft fabric that you can use as a security "blanket".  It sounds odd, but it helps.

It sounds like you have a good therapist which is awesome.  Congrats on cutting off the relationship with your perpetrator. That is not an easy thing to do by any means.

Wow. Thank you for the lovely response.

I think perhaps the covert actions of some perpetrators can be worse. Mine was really covert until her ego, or maybe her confidence level, swelled to bursting. Before that tho, I teetered on the edge of uncertainty. Your gut says something is up, but it takes awhile to put your finger on it. I think the payoff for those people which is control, and well, they dont get to win anymore.

Im one. I have a different theory. In my case, I think the epathic trait was overly developed as protection. I knew when there was negative emotional energy was around even when I was little. I feel like it was a protection mechanism.

I am 37 years old. I have known I had some form of PTSD for a very long time, but I was dismissed by many a therapist because I was not military and did not experience an acute type trauma. I also have the gift of painting on the smile when things get uncomfortable.

Anyway, my basic story consists of the sociopathic mother who had a thing for using people as puppets. She would learn their tendencies and weaknesses and provoke them. She enjoyed telling my step father whatever wrong I committed and would literally smirk while she listened to him beat me. When I got older and tough enough to physically fight back, she found ways to manipulate friends of mine, boyfriends etc.  Even when I tried to keep my life at a distance, she always found a way in.  She went so far as to keep a daily journal detailing cocaine use and stating that I was abusing my daughter when she was a toddler, none of which was true. She made the mistake of telling one of her friends who knew it was BS, and my daughter and I dropped out of sight.

A few years later, I was remarried and she contacted me again. She sucked me in with information on who my biological father was and finally admitting my birth certificate was faked. I still kept her at arms length. At some point, she started cheating on hubby #2 and I had subtly warned him about her - he is a nice person. By this point, her ego had grown so much that she told him almost everything she had done to me. She purposely stole all of my daughter's baby pictures, she bragged about destroying several of my relationships in the past, and detailed how easily she could provoke her first husband into violent behavior.

That is when I started to remember. I remembered the overall events before but I did not really understand anything.  Suddenly, I was bombarded with flashbacks, insomnia, nightmares, etc. I always had emotional flashbacks and anxiety but nothing like that. She tried contacting my husband when I refused to speak to her ad she tried for an entire day via text messaging and on the phone to manipulate him (impossible as he is way too smart). When that did not work, she tried me again, and I threatened legal action. We have since moved several times and I have had no contact with her or any family members with direct contact with her in nearly 10 years.

Despite that, things creep in even now, and considering the years of failed therapy, maybe knowing I am not the only one?  I have certainly never written a post this long anywhere so I guess I needed to get that out. Thanks for reading.