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This year (like last year) I will be escaping Christmas by running off to the country for a meditation retreat. Gone no contact with FOO couple of years ago and no partner or close friends to speak of, so its that or spend it at home by myself.

I found it very healing....winter being a time to let go of the old to welcome in the new and all that. And the people were friendly, so it was nice.

Wow, I can relate to all of this so much. I live a very lonely life too, find it really hard to get out there. I feel like I don't fit in with others my age, who have professional jobs, partners, friends, go out every weekend......I have none of these things. I spend a huge amount of time doing therapy or self-help things, or just trying to get through the day.......not much to talk about! I don't want to talk about my illness to people, so I feel I don't know how to 'explain' myself and my small little life.

However things have slowly gotten better for me. I agree that just being around people in a group that is safe, even if you don't contribute much is helpful - I've been to a couple of therapy-type groups like this and it slowly helps build your trust in people and reduce you anxieties.

I've managed to regularly go to a book group held at the library - it's ideal because it's a small group, in a quiet space, and we just talk about the book and don't have to talk about ourselves. I'm still full of anxiety when I go and it was hard at first, but after persisting so long the anxiety has slowly reduced and I feel I have started to make connections.

I think for even non-introverted or anxious types it takes time to build up relationships, so I try to be patient, and also I have stayed in the same place for nearly two years (I used to move all the time).

Unfortunately I can't use my old strategy of getting completely wasted in order to talk to people - it makes me way too depressed, and more vulnerable to predatory types. So it's good that I gave up booze, but it does make talking to people harder.

Big yes for celebrating every little achievement -they all matter, they all build up over time to bigger achievements.