Messages

dang, SO, i'm so glad you've been able to garden again.  i miss being able to do that, all the gardens i've had, out there digging in the dirt, helping wonderful things grow.  therapy, indeed, of the best kind.  enjoy!  love and hugs

i see you, G, and wish you weren't in so much pain.  love and hugs

 

i'm sorry if anything i wrote felt like an attack.  i'll just send you love and hugs, and if that doesn't feel good, please let me know.

hi, G, welcome to the forum.

i'm very sorry you're going thru such a rough time.  i wish it were easier for you.

maybe it's my age, and i don't doubt that it is, but i found it very difficult to understand a lot of what you write.  i'm 77, have been on the forum for about 10 yrs., and don't understand a lot of more 'modern' references, words, slang, abbreviations, etc., so a lot of what you've written has gone over my head. i've been hesitant to respond cuz of that.  sorry.

to my mind, and i might be completely off, it sounds like you are somewhat of a free spirit but have been reined in too often in unkind ways.  ignore this if it doesn't pertain. i do hope you find some comfort being here in not being judged for who you are or who you want to be.  sending a hug and love, if that's ok.

fingers crossed, indeed, CF!  here's hoping!

and congrats not only on winning, but on finding out about the carbs before bed.  that is amazing news.  let's hope it keeps on helping you like that.  you're doing a great job w/ this, all of it.  loads of luck for the next submissions.  love and hugs

i've gotten some decent sleep the past couple nights doing the meds i was originally prescribed for restless legs.  i don't have an unlimited supply of those, but enough for a while.  it really does feel good to sleep, to not be up and down 4-5x/nite, running to the john, intrusive thoughts unless i read something to lull myself back to sleep, or have to go to the computer, play a couple hours of games until i get tired enough and stop running to the john.  it's a whole thing, and i feel like crapola during the day - well, anyone who has sleep problems knows what i'm talking about.  so, i think i'll stick w/ this for a bit, maybe one nite on, one nite off to make my supply last longer.  yeah, i'm putting off going to the doc - not a good time there.

you brought a smile to my face this morning, blueberry.  the idea that you are seeing your own progress, are acknowledging your own process and allowing it to unfold as it does for you, i can't think of a better spring renewal for you.  very glad you were able to get out and about, do some singing, some gardening.  yay for you!     love and hugs

this is so wonderful to hear, SO.  so very glad for you.  coming to a realization as big as this contains so many facets, so many directions.  well done, you, for getting yourself ready so that you could come to this and be ready to embrace it, envelop it while it envelops you.  very good to hear you have your own pace, are aware of it, and are honoring it.  again, well done!    love and hugs

hey, NK, i believe she was just very embarrassed by her fall.  it was a physical thing, she's having trouble w/ one of her feet.  didn't want any attention on her for it.  she's not into self-care very much.  and thanks for thinking of my D.  she's decided not to go w/ chemo, the percentage of it helping her was a very low 1.6%. what might happen cuz of it, hair loss, tingling/numbness in extremities, not being able to eat - she went thru that cuz of anxiety 2 yrs. ago, and even the doc said she'd be against it cuz of that.  so, radiation starts next month.   

my D now gets stress flu, had it for the past 3 days, so now she knows how i feel when i get it, and how wearing/exhausting it is to feel so miserable.  i'm not happy she got to learn about it in a real way.  ugh!

tired today.  hard nite falling asleep.  i purposely didn't nap yesterday, and was out and about so i was plenty tired by the time i went to bed.  dang, maybe i'll load up on meds tonite, give myself a break. 

hey, SO, so sorry your day was so rough.  i hope today is better.  love and hugs

took my galpal shopping the other day - she can't drive anymore - and she fell in a parking lot. so strange, just dropped like a brick.  no flailing around, no sounds from her, no really anything as far as looking herself over, just kept going.  i did the mother hen thing, wanted to hold her arm, she kept swatting me away w/ hand and words, was very annoyed that i wanted to take care of her.  it wasn't till we were in the store that she realized he had blood all over her hands!  2 wounds, one on each hand, where she went down and a piece of gravel or something dug into the flesh.  i got bandaids, went to the john w/ her to help wash her off.

when we eventually got out of the store, after she bought what she wanted, i noticed and pointed out to her that she had blood on her shirt as well, she just brushed that off.  getting things was her big priority.  we went to 2 other stores after that, and on the way home i noticed and told her that it looked like there might be blood on the knee of her jeans.  again, she just kinda brushed that off with a 'probably'.  there was no thought of her well-being at all.  it was like she was on a mission to go shopping, and that's what was important.  not her own self.

later, i thought of how much it reminded me of my M.  she would've been exactly the same way.  impossible to show any kind of helping to if it pertained to her self.  no self-care on a physical level, none on an emotional level, either.  and all i did was annoy my friend by wanting to take care of her.  i was probably the same way, now that i think of it.  but, no more.

hey, SO, i do hope you find some good sleep somehow.  i'm doing a lot of those things, altho i haven't tried PMR yet, so i might give that a go.  not being able to sleep properly is the worst.  i was on major benzo's for years, and while it took some doing to wean off them (or i guess 'titrate' is the word to use now.  i'm old, so don't always keep up with the changes, lol!) they were so helpful.  and i've used years-old ones as well - they worked perfectly fine for me.  good luck w/ all of it.

very glad to hear you were able to be outside, working in a garden, connecting.  sounds great!  i hope you'll be able to keep it up somehow, or at least some of it here and there thru the year.  but no pressure.  i get how we have energy for some things some of the time.  do what you are able - it's good enough.  love and hugs

yeah, no kidding, SO, about the whole sleep thing. thanks for the name.  i take it that's a prescription med.  i haven't tried unisom myself, yet.  it was just given to me as an alternative aid.  we'll see.  i agree how much of a difference it makes to get some decent sleep.  i just wish we didn't, none of us, have to deal w/ it.  love and hugs

hey, SO, yeah, i'd like to know what that sleep med is. something that has helped me at times has been advil PM, altho i discovered thru my old T that it contains di-something, which has been related to dementia, but unisom does not contain that ingredient, so i'm gonna look at that next. anyway, we live, learn, and adjust.  good luck w/ it all, let me know if it helps.  this sleep thing is so annoying!  thanks.  love and hugs