Forty one is not old. How about 55 years of age to realize mom had NPD? Is 55 old enough? That was me....Mom was not a yeller so it didn't show. She gave love to men, that would be my son and husband. Me watching in on this thinking she was loving. It was when I was alone with her, me being the only female child, that the claws came out. It took me to age 55 and my mom saying NO WAY to my daughters wedding for me to start seeing. I was 55 when I went to therapy for having a malignant sadist NPD mom who was jealous of me my whole life.
So 41 is not too old. My opinion is that all this recovery is in Gods timing. I had an angry relationship with my mom , so my children got to have a grandmother for Xmas cards and see her once a year. If I would have recognized NPD in mom, I would have never gone back to FOO. So at least my children got to see Michigan every summer ....
I'm sorry for your loss with cancer. This is truly when we realize how sadness and loss can make us see what is important.
So 41 is not too old. My opinion is that all this recovery is in Gods timing. I had an angry relationship with my mom , so my children got to have a grandmother for Xmas cards and see her once a year. If I would have recognized NPD in mom, I would have never gone back to FOO. So at least my children got to see Michigan every summer ....
I'm sorry for your loss with cancer. This is truly when we realize how sadness and loss can make us see what is important.