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Hi HealthyHeart,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Like everyone says, wich anti depressant works for you can change from person to person, so you should discuss it with your doctor or/and a psychiatrist.
In my case, I've been on Trintellix for nearly a year. It's the first one that I've taken, and so far it's good. The only side effect I had was constipation, but I also have IBS, so I'm not surprise. Both my doctor and psychiatrist recommended it to me because it seems it has the least amount of side effects, or at least the less likely to. I have also friends who're on Trintellix and they seem fine. Though I've heard from nurses that Trintellix either works for you or doesn't, so again, discuss with a professional first.

Good luck and stay safe!
 

Hi blueteddy,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I also find difficult establishing trusting relationships with people, even though it's what I want and need the most.
Someone reply to me once on this group when I posted about desiring a romantic relationship that maybe I was pressuring myself to much. Maybe that's your case? Deep connections are not instantaneous, they take time. It's not an easy journey, sometimes you end up finding people that just make you feel worse.
Maybe think of it like baby steps? You need to make small steps as a baby before learning how to run.Say hi to someone. Talk about the weather, about your day. Things that you both may like. And little by little see if you two are a good friendship match. It's easier said than done, but it's worth trying.
I don't want you to give up though. I think that you deserve being cared and protected by people who love you.
I hope that you find in this forum some of that comfort that you need.
 

I'm also wary of those drugs, but it seems worth watching. Thanks for the recommendation!

NarcKiddo, that's an interesting technique. I never heard of it before. I enter in danger mode when things like this happen, so I never tried that. Thanks for the info!

Hi,
I was talking with my therapist a few weeks ago about my current situation and the stress it puts me. My BPD parent is current moving out. I lived with both of my parents because of the difficulty to find apartments alone as a student. However, my parents are in the process of divorcing, and my BPD parent has found another appartment for them, so they'll be moving out soon. Well, they've been moving out for several months, it feels that they're doing everything to move the date as much as they can. So I talked to my therapist about the stress is causing me and the problems of having them at home. Specially, about the fact that I try to avoid them as much as I can, so that I don't have to oppose them. They hate opposition, whatever form it takes (different opinions, boundaries, etc.), and I don't feel safe opposing my self to them in a situation where I don't have a place to escape if things go wrong.

That day, my therapist proposed me an exercise of role play. That I would imagine my BPD parent and talk to them about how I felt, knowing that they would not react. And also, that I could leave the conversation whenever I need it through a door. It went pretty well, but when we finished the therapy session, she asked me to reflect on how could I find my own "door" in the real world. Not a physical place though, a metaphorical door of some sort.

I've been reflecting about this for two weeks. And I feel as clueless as when she asked me that question. I've always used avoidance and fawn to survive with my BPD parent, to the point where those are the only options I know that I can think of. So I wanted to see what where your opinions on this subject. Do you have a "door"?

Welcome desertkate! I hope you find here the comfort and the support that you need in your journey.
 

Hi Armee,

Thanks for the replying! It made me feel less anxious. I've tried some methods like ice and heat before, but I think I'll check out the other methods you mentioned.

 

Hi,
I'm a little confused right now about what to think on this topic.
I've had chronic pain for a long time, usually back, shoulder and neck problems. Because of that, I've self medicated a lot in my life with paracetamol and ibuprofen. At least since I was 15 (I'm nearly 24). Now I know that my physical pain was probably product of my C-PTSD, and I've been trying my best to decrease that pain.
But I still self medicate a lot. Specially at night, before sleeping, when I'm very stressed and I feel that I need to be able to sleep.
I was able to pass several months without NHS, but since two weeks ago, I've been taking one paracetamol every single night. I've never heard about addiction to NHS, but it's the closest thing that I can compare to. I'm not sure what to do from here. I don't know if talking with the doctor will do anything. But while my blood tests are good, and I worry if this will hurt me. I've never overdosed, never taken more than one pill, but one nearly every single day...
Any ideas on what should I do? Has anyone had this problem? Am I going to die because of this? I feel so dumb...

I follow several Instagram pages that create activity events. One of them put a speed dating event, and since then I have been reflecting a lot about dating in my case.
I've allways wanted to be in a loving relationship. Find someone I'm in love and happy with, marry them and create a family. Despite that, I had never been before in any relationship: there was a lot of toxicity at home, I was too shy, found my self too ugly or unlovable. I had a situationship, but didn't last long either.
When I saw the speed dating event, part of me wanted to go, since I still long for a love connection. But part of me just doesn't feel good about it.
I've been diagnosed with PTSD (C-PTSD actually, but in my country the official diagnose is PTSD) since septembre of last year, though I already had symptoms of it at least since 2021. I'm on antidepressants and in therapy since the end of 2023, and despite it I still struggle sometimes to function as a human being. Because of my C-PTSD I also suffer from several health problems.
I tell all of this because that's what I was thinking about when I was saying I'm not ready. I fear I would be a burden to any potentional partner, that I don't have really anything to put on the table. I'm sure I don't want a casual thing, but I'm not sure that I have the energy to put into a serious relationship in these moments. I fear I'm not good enought yet. But I'm not sure if I'm being biased of not in this topic.
I feel a little bit lost on this. I would appreciate any advice that I could get.

Before calm, but now a nervous, angry and guilty. The (old?) therapist that ghosted me ended up contacting me today for an appointment.
I'm feeling angry because I tried to contact them to know when we could have an appointment, and they didn't even answer to the question, and then didn't wrote me or called me for two months. I'm feeling nervous because I have to write them I'm already seeing another therapist, and I have flashbacks each time I sense some sort of confrontation. And I'm feeling guilty because I feel angry at her, and I feel unsure if my anger is justified or not.

Today...
1. I did the laundry (after 3 weeks of just...hanging there)
2. I took a shower
3. I got to do 4 hours of homework without feeling tired or being distracted or withing that I wasn't doing homework
4. I washed the dishes earlier and got to have some rest watching the computer

Thank you so much! It makes me feel less alone

Hi everyone,
I'm right now in a very stressing time for me. I feel overwhelmed by my exams, projets, different medical appointments and by having to search for a new job. I feel like I'm everywhere all at once, and it's starting to take a tool on my mental health. These days I've been crying very regulary, feelin super stressed, sad and even angry/frustrated frequently. I feel like I'm a failure and like I'm in danger even more than before, and my intrusive thoughts feel too strong right now. Writting on my journal calms me, but it does not feel enough in this situation.
Since I can't really do much about the situation itself, I'm trying to think on ways that I can take care of myself while the storm goes off. I've tried meditation, but between my tendencies to procrastination and my impatience (I can't stay focused too much on something that makes me feel, no matter how much I try) I end up quitting and feeling even worse.
Does anyone have any ideas or tools for self-care in these type of situations?

I exactly feel like that. I feel like after all the swiming and working, I'm dwrowning before being able to reach the other shore.
These days I feel so tired and overwhelmed. I feel like everything happens all at once: examns, homneworks, job shifts, paper work, searching for a therapist (finding a fairy would me easier!)...
And I try, I try so hard to do everything that needs to be done and to take care of my self. But each time is like I'm falling behind something, and I just want to sleep. And when things seem to get a little bit better (for example, finding finally a therapist!)...
But then you fail your exam.
That exam I had studied so hard for and that I though I did ok. And it's just a little exam, just a pebble in comparison to all the other problems I have. But it weights so much between that little pebble and all the other ones, and I feel so sad, so tired, and so mad I make such a big deal about it!
It's just so tiring to be allays fighting against something, always trying to heal, and heal, and then fail at healing, and trying all over again. My whole life has felt like a battle field, and I just want things to go smoothly for once. And to not feel like I'm drowning each time something like this happens...
Sorry for the long...what ever this even is.
I just feel so alone right now.

Hi everyone,
I finally was able to have an appointment with the psychiatrist at my univeristy. She agreed that I had "PTSD" symptoms (she didn't seem to make the difference bettween C-PTSD and PTSD, wich I'm starting to think it's a common thing specialists do here where I live). She proposed me to start with anti-depressants, like Celexa or Trintellix.
I'm still not sure about it. I've been reading some articles, and I know that not all anti-depressants are addictive. But there's still this part of me that's kind of afraid of taking this step. It would help me with my CPTSD symptoms, but still...
Does anyone here have any experience with this type of anti-depressants? I would really be grateful for some advice...