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I don't really know where else to put this and I don't really have the space irl to talk about this.

But I feel as if I'm stuck in a liminal zone in terms of my race and ethnicity. Both sides of my family were terrible and I faced abuse and neglect stemming from racism from the Spanish side. The Caribbean side was not really in my life after what my Mother did that lead to the divorce.

I grew up very isolated and didn't really know any other people outside the family that looked like me. Nor had any friends for that matter.

And now? I'm just classed as white passing but I feel so wholly rejected by both sides of the family, I feel like I'm nothing at all. I know some of the multiracial community dislike the broad label of "mixed," but personally I feel like it's the only label that fits me.

It's a blank slate, giving no credence to the source. A meaning that applies very well to how I feel as a whole person.

Hello everyone! I'm Crow_
I was actually a little hesitant to come here but I realized that it's important that I take steps to connect with people who share similar life experiences to me.

I'm not quite sure how to start but I developed CPTSD through repeated harm to me since I was a young child. I'm not really comfortable giving any more than that.

However! I'm currently doing so much better now. I'm actually able to look back at everything since finally becoming independent from my family. And uhhh it is just absurd, CPTSD really does give a backstory equivalent of "that is enough slices."
In my path to healing I'm currently meditating, reading on cptsd, attachment styles, jungian psychology, and using tarot. I've taken steps to tear away the defensive and aggressive mask I created to survive and it is... new to say the least. I haven't felt like this in over a decade.