Messages

I don't know what triggered the depression and the EFs in your life. But it doesn't have to be something 'bad' that triggered it. In my case, it was a positive thing that trigge :hug:red my CPTSD (although at the time I was diagnosed with PTSD - the C was added about a decade later when more was known about the difference between the two): I was finally in a safe and stable environment and my defenses were no longer set on maximum for 'bare survival' but relaxed a little... That's what opened Pandora's box for me; who'd have thought?!?

I often felt it was the same for me keepfighting. My mom (my worst abuser) died in 2001 and a year later I met my current partner who I've lived with for 10 years. He's my anchor and our home has become my safe place. My psychiatrist suggested my psyche started loosening up after my mom died because I felt safer without her around. And my partner has been supportive and kind through all my ups and downs. Then I found a counselor who I could trust. I'm sure all these factors came into play and created the perfect storm for me to release.

I heard a c-ptsd "break down" is really break through. As painful as it all is I guess it's for the best and I hope the years I have left on the earth are more peaceful.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and greetings.

["for every soldier who serves in a war zone abroad, there are ten children who are endangered in their own homes".]

Based on Van Der Kolk's book, "for every soldier who serves in a war zone abroad, there are ten children who are endangered in their own homes". Learning of the narcissist parent connection I certainly believe these statistics and that that  CPTSD number is only growing.   Although it is not limited to, everyone mostly relates PTSD to soldiers of war and they get it (at least now they do and unlike for children, that is an on the job injury that the government is responsible for, not to say our veterans are being treated right).  Using the link that SC posted (not taking away from the fact that it is something and I appreciate the information), is for PTSD and further down the page (almost as an add on/afterthought) adds a bit about CPTSD.

When I explain to people the difference between PTSD and C-PTSD I tell them that soldiers, for example, made a choice to be in a war zone and are trained and given guns to defend themselves against the enemy. Little children don't have a choice. I don't say this to trivialize combat PTSD because my brother had it, but only to enlighten people to the difference.

Hi everyone. My c-ptsd started a couple of months into my therapy last fall. I was in therapy for chronic depression. I ended up in the hospital for being suicidal and after I got out the flashbacks started, and then the headaches and memories. It was awful. I had not idea what was happening to me. I still don't know what triggered all of this.

After several torturous months, my psychiatrist told me I had PST from severe childhood abuse and neglect. I'm on Zoloft, Wellbutrin and Seroquel. I was severely neglected and abused first by me mother. Then I was bullied at the same time by my older brother until he went off to school. He still bullies me to this day. My family was severely disfunctional in many ways. My father used to beat all six of us with a belt usually at my mother's demand. I call my father the Enforcer. I only recently started getting memories of being sexually molested outside the home several times before I was ten. That was the last straw. I've recently shut down in therapy and can't deal with anything more.

But why now?!  I'm 57, why did this come up now? I can't work. I've become a recluse. I thought at the time ptsd was only for soldiers and fireman. I've since educated myself about c-ptsd.

I have a great trauma therapist but it's been a rough year.