Messages

Thank you, Papa Coco! Your kind words were reassuring to hear

Hi Cascade, thank you for your warm reply. Since I'm still kind of new, I still feel a bit hesitant and out of place here, but i'll try my best to interact a little more 

Hello dalloway. I also have a very similar mother wound to yours; I think emotional neglect is a big part of it as well. I've struggled all my life with forming bonds and its the worst T_T Thank you for taking time to respond to my post!

Hello, this is my first post (after my introduction post, which I made back in April). I've been reading through other members' posts for a little while now, but It still makes me very anxious to interact with the forum. However, I think now is a good time for me to at least try and reach out for community support, as my feelings of loneliness have increased a lot recently. For context, the one friend I usually talk to is gonna be unavailable for awhile, and I don't really have anyone else. Even more, while our friendship isn't toxic, it's not exactly that emotionally close. It's partially on me for not being able to communicate my feelings, but my friend also has their own mental health issues and can't really be available for me when I need someone - even just someone to talk to casually.

Existing has already been hard for me for the past month or so. Trying to heal on my own has been so overwhelming and I keep having to fight the urge to give up entirely. These circumstances make the struggle feel worse, as now I'm reminded of how I've never experienced true emotional connection with another human being. I have a cat that I'm pretty close with, but it doesn't feel the same. I've just been deprived of a truly supportive and safe relationship with another person my whole life and it feels like a gaping hole in the middle of my chest. I've been trying to help myself through it, but there are simply some needs I won't be able to meet on my own, yknow?

I just needed a place to vent about it, but any advice or just emotional support would be appreciated.

Hi, I signed up at the beginning of April, but haven't had a chance to make my introducion post until now. I mainly developed CPTSD through emotional abuse and neglect in my childhood; I've also experienced a few isolated incidents and witnessed animal violence. I have a lot of anxiety and have dealt with depressive episodes, suicidal ideation, self destructive behaviors, maladaptive daydreaming, and debilitating attachment issues. From 2019-2021 I reenacted my early attachment trauma three times in a row with three different people - all online. After being retraumatized so much, I socialy isolated myself for over two years - desperately trying to protect myself.

It was only during December that I realized I didnt want to be like this anymore. So ever since then, I have been in self-recovery, as I dont feel ready to try therapy again quite yet. The past few months have consisted of a lot of resource searching, trial and error, and trying new things. During this early stage of healing I am mostly focused on establishing inner safety, listening to my needs, and self care. I'm aware of the importance of community support for healing from trauma, but have been reluctant towards online support groups because of past online experiences. Therefore, I may have a hard time trusting other members on the forum and may refrain from posting for awhile. Thank you for reading.