Hello everyone,
I am a person that has been abandoned/let down by other people over and over again, people that were suposed to protect me or that were some kind of authority that I was trying to get some kind of protection/support from. I have serious trust issues regarding where and who can help me and if they will not cause me more harm than good.
I am continuing to push myself beyond what I feel comfortable with, because I don't see I have a choice, either I push farward and try to find little bits of hope and happiness or what is there left for me? I just don't feel I even have a choice to give up.
I have been abused in all the ways possible by my mother. We lived in a small apartment with my father who had schizophrenia, he is not alive anymore. There was no privacy, noone to turn to for support and nowehre to hide. I was abused troughout my life by my peers or other adults,in some cases because I didn't learn to choose healthy people for myself, some just because I had no choice and I was not protected by anyone.
I can see other people find me weird even though I tried to be as normal as I could and what is socially acceptable. Whenever I tried being myself I was ridiculed or people got angry that I was trying to advocate something for myself. Because I live in a country that still has a huge stigma on trauma and sees people with trauma as a burden to society, being understood or getting help is hard. Because of this I turned to finding any resources or support I can find online. With people and communities it didn't always work out well, but I am glad that I can at least find books and information online that I can help myself with.
For now this is some basic information about me, hope it gives some insight.
I am a person that has been abandoned/let down by other people over and over again, people that were suposed to protect me or that were some kind of authority that I was trying to get some kind of protection/support from. I have serious trust issues regarding where and who can help me and if they will not cause me more harm than good.
I am continuing to push myself beyond what I feel comfortable with, because I don't see I have a choice, either I push farward and try to find little bits of hope and happiness or what is there left for me? I just don't feel I even have a choice to give up.
I have been abused in all the ways possible by my mother. We lived in a small apartment with my father who had schizophrenia, he is not alive anymore. There was no privacy, noone to turn to for support and nowehre to hide. I was abused troughout my life by my peers or other adults,in some cases because I didn't learn to choose healthy people for myself, some just because I had no choice and I was not protected by anyone.
I can see other people find me weird even though I tried to be as normal as I could and what is socially acceptable. Whenever I tried being myself I was ridiculed or people got angry that I was trying to advocate something for myself. Because I live in a country that still has a huge stigma on trauma and sees people with trauma as a burden to society, being understood or getting help is hard. Because of this I turned to finding any resources or support I can find online. With people and communities it didn't always work out well, but I am glad that I can at least find books and information online that I can help myself with.
For now this is some basic information about me, hope it gives some insight.