Hi!
I'm so glad I found this group, I've been in therapy for about six months now and am in the process of facing my CPTSD head on 😅 this is probably too long/detailed, sorry!
I was adopted into a family as a baby that tormented myself and my adopted siblings until the day I moved out. I was physically, sexually, emotionally, financially, and psychologically abused by both parents (and eventually my brother) for years. We were "homeschooled" to conceal abuse, and I taught and raised myself and my siblings until middle school. My father groomed me to be his "partner" and SA'd me until I hit puberty. I was SA'd by several men in my life during my childhood, creating a warped sense of my view on relationships with men.
I then moved out and met a man who was an abusive alcoholic, and I stayed for four years, isolated from any friends and was subjected to physical and sexual abuse. I fought for my life to eventually get out, and moved across the country to start over, and ended up coming out shortly after.
Now, I have panic attacks and visual, auditory, and emotional flashbacks often. My therapist is amazing, and I'm doing EMDR to help process things. I'm in the first safe environment of my life and finding out how to do simple things like have a hobby or sleep through the night.
I met my girlfriend in my new town, and although she is incredible and understanding, I feel alone in my day to day struggles since it's hard to explain the ups and downs and disassociation. I feel frustrated that I'm still dealing with the impact of my childhood/abuse (although having grace is something im working on) I'm hoping to find some community and maybe feel less alone with this!
Thanks for having me
I'm so glad I found this group, I've been in therapy for about six months now and am in the process of facing my CPTSD head on 😅 this is probably too long/detailed, sorry!
I was adopted into a family as a baby that tormented myself and my adopted siblings until the day I moved out. I was physically, sexually, emotionally, financially, and psychologically abused by both parents (and eventually my brother) for years. We were "homeschooled" to conceal abuse, and I taught and raised myself and my siblings until middle school. My father groomed me to be his "partner" and SA'd me until I hit puberty. I was SA'd by several men in my life during my childhood, creating a warped sense of my view on relationships with men.
I then moved out and met a man who was an abusive alcoholic, and I stayed for four years, isolated from any friends and was subjected to physical and sexual abuse. I fought for my life to eventually get out, and moved across the country to start over, and ended up coming out shortly after.
Now, I have panic attacks and visual, auditory, and emotional flashbacks often. My therapist is amazing, and I'm doing EMDR to help process things. I'm in the first safe environment of my life and finding out how to do simple things like have a hobby or sleep through the night.
I met my girlfriend in my new town, and although she is incredible and understanding, I feel alone in my day to day struggles since it's hard to explain the ups and downs and disassociation. I feel frustrated that I'm still dealing with the impact of my childhood/abuse (although having grace is something im working on) I'm hoping to find some community and maybe feel less alone with this!
Thanks for having me