I just started my CPTSD research when I found this group. I have been very frustrated in my search for a good therapist so, true to the diagnosis, I started looking into my own resources and source of healing. Community seems to be the consistent recommendation (much to my dismay) so here I am.
The bare essentials of my trauma is childhood emotional neglect and abandonment issues leading to relationship with a textbook narcissist. Classic trauma love story amiright? (Humor is my coping mechanism, apologies in advance).
I was with my ex for 7 years and was subject to s*xual, mental, emotional and physical abuse. We moved and I was isolated from friends and family. When we divorced the verbal, mental and emotional abuse never stopped and the legal abuse began. We have to coparent and he uses that to continue the abuse. It's been 15 years since the abuse started and I've finally completely broken down. I trust NO ONE and avoid everyone/everything. After my only "friend" abandoned me when my symptoms became too much, and I began to self harm I realized the severity of my mental health. I'm finally acknowledging what I tried to fight so hard to push through and ignore. I need help.
It's hard to feel like I belong because the voice in my head tells me what I have gone through wasn't nearly as bad as what others have been subjected to and others will roll their eyes or call me dramatic. I don't want to be one of "those people" who just can't take accountability for their actions. But my hope is by facing this fear I may find others like me and at least find some validation.
I'm sending so much love to everyone going through these things. I would never wish feeling this way on my worst enemy, and knowing some of the greatest, strongest, beautiful souls suffer from it is heartbreaking.
The bare essentials of my trauma is childhood emotional neglect and abandonment issues leading to relationship with a textbook narcissist. Classic trauma love story amiright? (Humor is my coping mechanism, apologies in advance).
I was with my ex for 7 years and was subject to s*xual, mental, emotional and physical abuse. We moved and I was isolated from friends and family. When we divorced the verbal, mental and emotional abuse never stopped and the legal abuse began. We have to coparent and he uses that to continue the abuse. It's been 15 years since the abuse started and I've finally completely broken down. I trust NO ONE and avoid everyone/everything. After my only "friend" abandoned me when my symptoms became too much, and I began to self harm I realized the severity of my mental health. I'm finally acknowledging what I tried to fight so hard to push through and ignore. I need help.
It's hard to feel like I belong because the voice in my head tells me what I have gone through wasn't nearly as bad as what others have been subjected to and others will roll their eyes or call me dramatic. I don't want to be one of "those people" who just can't take accountability for their actions. But my hope is by facing this fear I may find others like me and at least find some validation.
I'm sending so much love to everyone going through these things. I would never wish feeling this way on my worst enemy, and knowing some of the greatest, strongest, beautiful souls suffer from it is heartbreaking.