Messages

Thank you, Kizzie - yes, my sister referenced this after I told her about my abuse and wanting to "become who I am again."  She described it the way you did and it has since become part of my identity:  I bought a necklace of a phoenix on black obsidian stone and  also named my blog after it. 

Thanks for your response and for all that you do.  Ive read some of your posts and they are very gentle and kind. 

My heart goes out to you.  And I'm so glad you have your dog.  I'm sure they are absolutely wonderful and a complete joy.

Families can be so complicated and pets are so uncomplicated.  I am glad you have your found family that you truly love.  That is a good thing.

I can imagine it is difficult not having a relationship with any blood relatives.  But you are strong and powerful and you will make it through this, too.  Can you go visit someone in your found family sometime?  I find that sometimes just planning the trip can make me feel better about things. 

I'm sorry you are struggling.  Sending you warm thoughts.

@BlueMoon_

I am sorry you are having trouble connecting and feeling safe.  That part of your story I can definitely relate to.

I have had success in my therapy, but only because my therapist has been v-e-r-y slow with me.  She never pushes me in any direction.  She is very gentle about bringing up things.  I have been with her for a year and a half weekly.  She lets me stop whatever work we are doing and just talk about normal every day things for as many sessions as I need.  I feel very fortunate to have found someone like her.

(I say this not to be, like, "look at me!  Im doing great with mine!" but to emphasize that it has taken many, many sessions to get to where we are and I resisted alot of it because I just couldn't go there.  Until I could.

If she is out there for me, then I am hopeful that the right one is out there for you as well.  I encourage you to keep at it, whether it's with your current or someone completely different, just because it can be very helpful towards making a positive change in your life.  We all need help sometimes.

It is okay that you are struggling with this.  Sending you good thoughts and positive vibes.

Hi EchoEcho -

Sometimes when I am having really bad triggers it helps me to do grounding techniques (look up 5-4-3-2-1 method).  It helps me to become aware of the present moment and recognize that im safe.  Sometimes conscious breathing takes the edge off, focusing on my breath.  Pointing out the colors of objects in the room - that wall is white, that pen is blue, the desk is black - will also ease symptoms of a trigger.

All of these work for me - sometimes.  Sometimes it seems like there's nothing I can do but wait it out.  And it's hard.  Very hard.

I am sending you alot of love and support.  I hope you can have some peace today.

Hi!  I was looking for online support and found this site this morning.  I developed cPTSD after surviving and escaping an emotionally abusive marriage of 20 long years.  I've been in trauma therapy weekly for 1 1/2 years. 

I just broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and am discovering that he, too, had controlling behaviors. 

I am seeing this is a pattern of craving attention from guys and ignoring red flags (and idealizing love and mistaking the control as love.)  Fun stuff.

I've learned to cope with symptoms through meditation, yoga, breathwork, grounding, inner child work, journaling, and affirmations.  And I give myself lots and lots of hugs. 

I look forward to getting to know other survivors and walking this journey of healing together. ❤️