My siblings started a lifetime of abuse making me the lonely person I am who pops pills and hurts herself and alienates everyone. My sister and brother never had a use for me being so much older and even as an adult I can't forget their cruelest trick when they made me think my sister's antique doll was possessed and I stabbed it to death. Now my siblings are dead to me for the later peer and counselor abuse I endured and my family thanks I can forget it.mommy asks if I ever tried to make others like me but my siblings set me up for lifelong social pariahism.
Now that my mother's getting older I find myself getting angry when she tries to get me to do more things for myself. When she says that I need to forgive my siblings, who were both nearly 10 when I was born, and who delighted in my torture. Now they live for off and it's just us and I'm supposed to live and let die? After what they did to me? Not to mention what my group of friends did to me in elementary school. Sometimes I think God hates me or my mommy hates me (I'm from Appalachia--a counselor tried to say I was retarded for using mommy but counselors mostly hate me) and I don't blame her.
As for memory loss around my traumatic events? I have it. I can't remember everything around what happened to me from home, to school, to the psychiatric and local hospitals where I was brutalized it seems to be a void mostly. I got in a fight with the failed counselor before this (who set out a plan having me being completely cured by January--wow. optimistic when I have treatment resistant depression/ocd/etc) who told me 'don't you got all clinical on me.
I'm just a waste. A s**** stain.Mommy even asked me if I had to make life miserable all the time--what do you do when you feel miserable?
Now that my mother's getting older I find myself getting angry when she tries to get me to do more things for myself. When she says that I need to forgive my siblings, who were both nearly 10 when I was born, and who delighted in my torture. Now they live for off and it's just us and I'm supposed to live and let die? After what they did to me? Not to mention what my group of friends did to me in elementary school. Sometimes I think God hates me or my mommy hates me (I'm from Appalachia--a counselor tried to say I was retarded for using mommy but counselors mostly hate me) and I don't blame her.
As for memory loss around my traumatic events? I have it. I can't remember everything around what happened to me from home, to school, to the psychiatric and local hospitals where I was brutalized it seems to be a void mostly. I got in a fight with the failed counselor before this (who set out a plan having me being completely cured by January--wow. optimistic when I have treatment resistant depression/ocd/etc) who told me 'don't you got all clinical on me.
I'm just a waste. A s**** stain.Mommy even asked me if I had to make life miserable all the time--what do you do when you feel miserable?