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Messages - 1StillInTheDarkness

#1
Emotional Abuse / Emotional abuse by wife.
April 18, 2016, 07:21:47 PM
I'm 65, my wife 70.  She's been emotionally/verbally abusive all the years we've been together. She came from a large, emotionally dysfunctional family where there was also alcohol addiction and she has that, too.  Married 20 years, lived together 3.  No children.  I am also on OOTF but I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD and started on Prazosin for sleep problems, as well as to reduce anxiety, irritability, anger and intrusive thoughts.  It's working.  I also have treatment resistant ultra rapid cycling bipolar.   Lost my sexual function several years ago, which I've been told is a symptom of the abuse.

I need to get out of this marriage but holding a job with severe bipolar is daunting, to say the least.  My wife is prone to horrendous emotional meltdowns when she feels afraid that I might leave her.  She reverts to being the nine year old whose mother died and her world was blown apart.  All I feel is sorry for her.   I would love to love her and protect her,  but she has hurt me in ways that I never thought I could be hurt by someone who professed, and still professes, to love me.   She has all the money and owns the house and a vacation condo.  I'm not suicidal, but I definitely feel trapped and hopeless.