This is my first post here, so please be patient with me. I'm only just beginning to learn about C-PTSD after having a protracted emotional meltdown that nearly cost me my job. For years, I've thought that I was potentially BPD, minus the behaviors that negatively impact others. (I.e. I don't stalk people, etc. I don't "rage" at people in my life. I'm extremely empathetic.)
C-PTSD symptoms fit me to a tee. Also, it's not a shock considering the fact that I was adopted into a household where my mother almost certainly has BPD (or maybe C-PTSD?!). My father placated her for years and, while she tries her best, she was emotionally abusive. I now am married to a man with Asperger's and likely some narcissistic leanings. (Actually, he probably is covert NPD but I don't like labels.) He's been physically and emotionally abusive but blames me and my insecurities for his lies, etc. I can't remember half of what's happened between us most of the time, so... You get the picture.
So, here's my question: How do I know that my husband isn't correct when he tells me I have BPD/attachment disorder? I am overly attached to him, I'll grant him that. I have abandonment issues, true enough. I sometimes get pannicky and overstep his boundaries. (Like, I have a problem with him going out drinking by himself after I've found him watching numerous YouTube videos on how to pick up women at a bar. He's tried to pick up women on Craigslist in the past, but he says boundary violation?!)
Help a girl out here. I really don't know what's true anymore. I need to know if I'm actually the problem. I know I'm presenting a one-sided account. I'm not perfect, but I don't know where the line is between C-PTSD and BPD.
C-PTSD symptoms fit me to a tee. Also, it's not a shock considering the fact that I was adopted into a household where my mother almost certainly has BPD (or maybe C-PTSD?!). My father placated her for years and, while she tries her best, she was emotionally abusive. I now am married to a man with Asperger's and likely some narcissistic leanings. (Actually, he probably is covert NPD but I don't like labels.) He's been physically and emotionally abusive but blames me and my insecurities for his lies, etc. I can't remember half of what's happened between us most of the time, so... You get the picture.
So, here's my question: How do I know that my husband isn't correct when he tells me I have BPD/attachment disorder? I am overly attached to him, I'll grant him that. I have abandonment issues, true enough. I sometimes get pannicky and overstep his boundaries. (Like, I have a problem with him going out drinking by himself after I've found him watching numerous YouTube videos on how to pick up women at a bar. He's tried to pick up women on Craigslist in the past, but he says boundary violation?!)
Help a girl out here. I really don't know what's true anymore. I need to know if I'm actually the problem. I know I'm presenting a one-sided account. I'm not perfect, but I don't know where the line is between C-PTSD and BPD.