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Messages - GlassBox

#1
Thanks guys
#2
Hi guys.  First post.

A little about me: I've struggled with CPTSD all my life, but I didn't know what to call it.  As of today, I have yet to be formally diagnosed, but when I read about CPTSD it was like reading a description of my personality that was written by someone who had access to my internal thoughts.  (I'm a "freeze" type, incidentally).  For the first time I'm able to see my maladaptive behaviors as responses to trauma rather than as character flaws.  Understanding what's going on with me has given me some immediate relief, as well as some much needed hope.  The description of CPTSD doesn't fit me like a glove, it fits me like my own skin. 

My experience with therapists in my neck of the woods is that they don't like to make formal diagnoses.  My therapist right now sees my constellation of symptoms and wants to treat them with CBT and DBT, which are the generally recommended treatments for CPTSD.  However, I'm worried that he doesn't really get it.  He tells me that it's not really important what to call a condition, and he's fearful that putting a label on it might make me "live up to the label".  He seems to think that whatever I'm struggling with is in a certain ballpark of BPD, which is frustrating to me, and from perusing the forums it seems like that's a common frustration.   I feel like there's a lot of miscommunication especially regarding treatments and getting healthier.  Therapists often want to set up a system of rewards.  They don't understand it when i tell them I don't respond to rewards because there's simply no self (ego) to receive a reward.  It makes things difficult, and I sometimes get the impression that they think I'm just being stubborn.

I've been through a lot of intensive therapy already, and though it helped me around the edges, it didn't address my core issues.  (Toxic shame, and that awful critic).  Most of the therapy just fell in the "hole", as it were.  Even though the therapies are the same and many of the symptoms are the same as BPD, I'm worried that the fundamental problems of CPTSD won't be addressed.

I live in Canada, which means that mental health is covered under our healthcare, but it's a kind of "take what you can get" proposition.  I'm grateful for it, since without it I'd have nothing, but I can't pick the exact therapists and course of treatment that I want.  I'm going to get some CBT and probably DBT in a group setting, and I can take it or leave it.  I'm taking it.

In short, I'm asking what the differences are between treatment for BPD and CPTSD, and how important those differences are.  What do I need to be aware of regarding CBT and DBT with respect to CPTSD?