Messages

I have simply decided that I need to turn myself over to professionals and do what I am asked to do. My ability to handle emotions is arrested and in that sense I am like a child. It is helpful to me to think of my therapist as my "good" parent. She is teaching me how to be in the world. I achieved great success in life because I have nearly completely dissociated from my feelings for decades. Now that has proved maladaptive and I have to go back to the beginning and learn the types of emotional skills my grand children have already acquired.... I have committed to muster the same level of courage, love and commitment that I have given to raising my children and creating my businesses to taking care of me. So many days I would like to quit, but the longer I do this the more faith I have in myself and my therapist. She is the first person who has really cared about me, and that is  pretty big deal to me.

Thank you for the kind words.

I can really identify with this. My CPTSD started to spin out of control this year at the age of 53. I was a very high functioning mother, grandmother and business owner. Totally unflappable and successful. I am sitting on my sofa at 6pm and have not managed to shower or even brush my teeth. I have been in intensive therapy for 8 months and on antidepressants for just a month. I am desperate for them to start working. I have 75 people working for me who rely on me to run my business well. I could really use some hope right now.