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On a humourous note....I recently realized why my lupus pisses me off so much. It reminds me of my mother. Really. Memories.....every time I start to feel good its there...like a sugar crazed six year old playing whack-a-mole, ready to smack me over the head and knock me down a notch or two!  I feel like a child again tiptoing arouNd, avoiding sunlight and inflammatory everything, just like I used to avoid b's in school and white glove dust tests! life again revolves around avoiding triggers so I don't have to fear for my life.....ah sweet ironic life!  I'll win this round too though....(smiles)

So, other than a brief response to 'triggered meme, I am new here.  I am amazed that so many people with this problem talk about it.  Amazed and a little jealous, as it seems like it must be refreshing to unload so much emotion.
To my point though. While I seem to find that many of my 'coping mechanisms' are condered unhealthy forms of avoidance and repression, may I just once state unequivicably that these same unhealthy crutches saved my life and my sanity more times than I will ever relate? When exactly is the moment that they stopped being my strength and became what cripples me?
I am strong,I survived, that's all that matters. This mantra got me through my first several years post-trauma. In the many years since, I feel as if what was my only positive identity, has since been shredded by my being told that this was avoidance of the issues and my refusal to delve in and reopen made me weak not strong.
I concede that there is a point to that mindset. Perhaps a better point than mine. My point being that I survived. I am alive. I am relatively functional. The mental methods I used to stay alive and and unbroken cannot be all bad. I feel I should be allowed this small piece of pride and strength, as it is the only part of me that was never broken.
Thank you and please remember survivor pride isn't just for cancer.

The schoolyard bullies have grown up...and now technology allows them to hide in a room and attack the world and vent their self loathing without fear of so much as a return punch.
My best friend is a gay man from a irish catholic family who has mostly disowned him. Whether it is a church or a computer screen, or countless other dark corners, it seems when they have something to hide behind, humans turn feral and rabidly vicious.
Perhaps why my animals reign supreme in my life..? They are so much more civilized...

Good luck