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I moved a year and a half ago, and I still don't really have much in the way of friends here. I keep planning on going to a Meetup event, but when the time comes I never seem to feel up for it. I used to be in a therapy group. Maybe I should try one here. I think I tend to avoid social gatherings because it's exhausting sometimes trying to fit in with people who aren't (as far as I can tell) coping with the sort of stuff that I'm forced to cope with. In a group I sort of get to be myself. But there's another side of me that doesn't really fit in with a therapy group either. I miss having a relatively normal social life like when I was younger, before my experiences caught up to me.

I can relate to feeling more functional (also after years of therapy) but also more lonely. I think just the way life tends to change as one gets older hasn't been good for me. It's harder to make new friends now; before there were lots of chances to gradually become friends with someone, and now it has to be a much more active process. When it comes to existing friends I'm deeply afraid of being a burden or staying past my welcome. I'm usually the one who ends up ending a friendship through inaction, not on purpose, but because I assume they don't want me around anymore. I also feel like I might come off as distant or iritable to people.