Hello.
I'm a veteran who's been out of the Navy for around 6 years. I got an honorable discharge and never had any major disciplinary incidents, but I was treated for "acute depression" while I was in. I had difficulty adjusting to the service, and didn't do well at my job. I had a supervisor who was a real piece of work. And since it was the military, and he outranked me, I couldn't get away, transfer, quit; and couldn't go over his head without clear evidence of actual misconduct. Which, even if his behavior was misconduct, I didn't have documentation or evidence of it, and I was his only subordinate in a small workcenter; so there were no witnesses.
I have had emotional, self-esteem, motivational, concentration, social, and irritability problems ever since leaving the service, six years ago. I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm still depressed, and might have anxiety issues as well. I do not believe that I am a physical danger to myself though.
This has had effects on family and social relationships, professional impacts, financial impacts, and personal. I've been single my whole life. Never had a girlfriend.
I scored a 40/80 on a self-administered PCL-5 (Probable Diagnosis of PTSD).
Here's the thing though; and why I say in the title "not sure if I should be here". I was never in combat. Never got shot at. Never had a bomb go off nearby. Never been in a situation where I thought I would be maimed or killed. I was a technician on a boat (which I thought was really cool) and I had a nice, air-conditioned space to work in and another nice, air-conditioned space to stand watch in. I got to party in 16 countries on four continents. So what the * is my excuse for being messed up?
I had a rotten, bullying boss I couldn't get away from. How lame is that? What does it say about me if just having a boss who raised his voice and constantly found fault and generally acted like a petty tyrant, as awful as it was for four years, has caused me to have the same problem that actual soldiers have from being in combat; more than six years after the fact?
And, that's not it:
I scored 20/27 on a self-administered QUIDS-SR 16 (Severe Depression).
I scored 18 on a self-administered Steinberg Depersonalization Questionnaire (Mild Depersonalization).
I scored 21 on a self-administered GAD-7 (Severe Anxiety) and 89/100 on self-taken existential anxiety test.
I have taken other self-tests that indicate mild panic disorder, moderate social anxiety, low self-esteem, and possible histrionic personality disorder.
So, maybe I should be posting somewhere else. But I figured I'd see what you guys thought. I just don't want you to think that I'd ever try to minimize or make light of what a real combat veteran went through.
I'm a veteran who's been out of the Navy for around 6 years. I got an honorable discharge and never had any major disciplinary incidents, but I was treated for "acute depression" while I was in. I had difficulty adjusting to the service, and didn't do well at my job. I had a supervisor who was a real piece of work. And since it was the military, and he outranked me, I couldn't get away, transfer, quit; and couldn't go over his head without clear evidence of actual misconduct. Which, even if his behavior was misconduct, I didn't have documentation or evidence of it, and I was his only subordinate in a small workcenter; so there were no witnesses.
I have had emotional, self-esteem, motivational, concentration, social, and irritability problems ever since leaving the service, six years ago. I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm still depressed, and might have anxiety issues as well. I do not believe that I am a physical danger to myself though.
This has had effects on family and social relationships, professional impacts, financial impacts, and personal. I've been single my whole life. Never had a girlfriend.
I scored a 40/80 on a self-administered PCL-5 (Probable Diagnosis of PTSD).
Here's the thing though; and why I say in the title "not sure if I should be here". I was never in combat. Never got shot at. Never had a bomb go off nearby. Never been in a situation where I thought I would be maimed or killed. I was a technician on a boat (which I thought was really cool) and I had a nice, air-conditioned space to work in and another nice, air-conditioned space to stand watch in. I got to party in 16 countries on four continents. So what the * is my excuse for being messed up?
I had a rotten, bullying boss I couldn't get away from. How lame is that? What does it say about me if just having a boss who raised his voice and constantly found fault and generally acted like a petty tyrant, as awful as it was for four years, has caused me to have the same problem that actual soldiers have from being in combat; more than six years after the fact?
And, that's not it:
I scored 20/27 on a self-administered QUIDS-SR 16 (Severe Depression).
I scored 18 on a self-administered Steinberg Depersonalization Questionnaire (Mild Depersonalization).
I scored 21 on a self-administered GAD-7 (Severe Anxiety) and 89/100 on self-taken existential anxiety test.
I have taken other self-tests that indicate mild panic disorder, moderate social anxiety, low self-esteem, and possible histrionic personality disorder.
So, maybe I should be posting somewhere else. But I figured I'd see what you guys thought. I just don't want you to think that I'd ever try to minimize or make light of what a real combat veteran went through.