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This was incredibly valuable! I am still reeling from a couple of re-triggering incidents with people who have way too much sense of power and control. A number of the expressions used above were part of their vocabulary that I only now know were caustic and limiting my ability to not get taken down.

It seems the experiences I have had have come from those whom I would identify as NPD, who lack empathy of the current situation and can not see or accept what I am experiencing. By the time I realize what has transpired I am in too deep, almost like a spell has been cast and I am caught, frozen in the messy goo. As writer/psycho-therapist Jeff Brown states in his work - boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!

Preparing myself and anticipating the sign posts that let me know these interactions may/will have consequences if I am not in tune with these hits to a tender psyche (totally depends on my own state of mind and stress levels incurred). Thank you so much for this post. Very helpful

http://www.breggin.com/

I have been following Dr. Breggin for the last couple of years. He is a world renowned Forensic Psychiatrist who has tackled Big Pharma and has succeeded in showing that most psychiatric medications are not safe for consumption.  I have little experience with any of the contentious meds other then SSRI's, Cipralex, of which I was on for just under a year as I watched myself disappear. It took me 4 months to get off of the SSRI on my own, and I have since found alternative (traditional) medicines to take their place when I feel called to them.

Thanks Three Roses!
I'll do some more sleuthing. Narcolepsy is something I had not considered and am interested in learning a bit more

kindly,
Satori60

I have been reading more about types/ways to disassociate and I feel I'm at a crux?

Can anyone assist me with understanding a phenomena that I am finding more as I deepen my understanding of C-PTSD. I have recently, in the last year, had significant blocks emerge via what I can only describe as 'black outs'. I had 2 happen yesterday while in meditation. I am not sure how long they last yet I have absolutely no recognition of time passed? I am sure they don't last very long yet I totally disappear. They seem to happen when I get to a very relaxed state. The last 2 mornings I have done 'head bobs' where I actually start to fall over, and catch myself. This is when I come back to. Some would assume I am falling asleep? I(t) feels very unconscious blocking something from being seen?. I feel discombobulated when I come back, like starting to drive the car off the road when one falls asleep at the wheel. There is an energetic jerk via my body that brings me back to reality!

Can anyone help guide me to understanding what this is? Are there any good articles on this phenomena and its meaning?

I am really appreciative of everyone's level of sharing here on OOTS. Thank you

Thanks, I'll do that.

Thanks

Much appreciate the dialogue and not feeling liked anything has been hi-jacked. Its all good; just to know there are others that can comprehend the depths of these unfortunate unfoldings that have imprinted themselves in the ways that they do!
Blessings and many thanks.

I am not sure if I have missed this Topic somewhere on this site?
I am very curious to hear and share about others integration experiences, where some have got stuck, and their breakthroughs?

Its a conversation I have had over and over in my own head with my father, and my mother since it showed up about 8 years ago. I am not sure where to go with it from here?
There is so little understood of this phenomena and it happened when I was quite young with my father, being compounded by other significant sexual trauma, years later by other men. A great deal of the work I have done is somatic/energetic release vs. the earlier cognitive therapy session work (12 years ago is when I started rebuilding) that did not do much for me. This release work still feels like just scratching the surface in some ways around this piece. I am hoping that someone who has also experienced this might be able to share some light on what they did to resolve the unhealthy negative mind loops. There is still a part of me asking if this really happened, yet somatically/energetically working with others, and a couple experiences I witnessed unfolding with my sons when they were quite young with my father, keeps coming up as a definite Yes. I'm not sure how much I want to put out here right now so will leave it at this.

I have done extensive Entheogen work yet the negative looping is still there; just not as intense as it was in the past 2 years when I started sitting in ceremony with Ayahuasca and doing personal work with low and high dosage levels of Psilocybin, including microdosing. (These are all in a sacred ceremonial context and I have witnessed huge shifts in a number of areas esp. around emotional regulation.)

Feeling fortunate to have found this forum. Thanks for listening.

Does anyone here have experience with this phenomena as the receiver? I would like to hear more if possible. Thank you