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Messages - arashi

#1
AV - Avoidance / Structural dissociation
September 15, 2016, 05:04:49 PM
just wondering if anyone here is dealing with this? ANP, EP's?

:trigger:

I have an EP that is SUI, and it is freaking me out. I do not feel this way as ANP.
#2
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Re: Hello...
September 14, 2016, 08:55:37 PM
hi.  :heythere:
#3
Oh, ok. I understand now. Thanks. (:
#4
QuoteSo I wrote down some parts of me that had been really helpful then, and connected them to Inner Critics.

still trying to sort all this out, so are you saying that the inner critic is/ was the driving force for those parts that were helpful?  this is confusing me.

I've been trying to be aware, I wrote some down yesterday the inner critic, but it never seems helpful, as in a driving force to get anything done, it seems to imobilize me.

thanks for sharing. I always wanted to play a musical instrument. both parents are quite musical, somehow I think it skipped me. last year I bought a set of drums and I've been learning to play. It's therapeutic to beat on the drums at least. don't know that I will ever play outside these 4 walls, but I'm ok with that.
#5
AV - Avoidance / Re: would this be dissociation?
September 13, 2016, 10:21:33 AM
Thank you three roses, Dutch uncle.

when I first started therapy, actually seeing a councillor at that time, I didn't even think I had any anxiety, couldn't see it at all! 1.5 yrs later I'm dx'd with GAD, and SAD ( social anxiety).  now, tho, looking back, I totally see it.  have no idea how I functioned at that level of anxiety. started new meds for GAD, I think it's finally working as I can get out of the house now!

anyway, i understand now, that this too might just take me some time too really see it.
#6
AV - Avoidance / would this be dissociation?
September 12, 2016, 05:58:35 PM
Therapist asked what is it like in the moment for me, or if I was living in the moment more, something like that. I think I described words for past, present and future. she then commented on the fact that I called the present disgusting. I don't remember saying that, and I mean the words would have just came out of my mouth. I mean I think I said it when I try to remember it's like a floating memory, can't be sure I really said it.
I don't think I dissociate, tho T has questioned me on the fact that It might be a possibility that I do and have more than I think. but, if I am not aware that I do, how would I know?

ETA: I ran into a friend a while ago, and she knew that I was separated from ex, but I didn't know she knew this because it's not something I told her. apparently I did have an entire conversation with her last year, and told her then, and I can't remember that, at all!  so, as I said, had I not of ran into her I would have no idea, if that is, dissociation?
#7
NSC - Negative Self-Concept / Re: critical voices
September 02, 2016, 01:34:06 AM
Thank you movementforthebetter.

I did some reading on it today. one method to calm IC was to say, "I am already doing the right thing." so I tried that, and immediately it said, "NO YOU ARE NOT."

so, I named my ICr, VEX, it's humanoid, pretty much built to destroy me. I can't see how it is meant to help. ever.
#8
NSC - Negative Self-Concept / Re: critical voices
September 01, 2016, 02:39:47 PM
Thank you three roses, Dutch uncle.

I've been avoiding and hiding and not in touch with this 'inner critic'.  I think I know when they are just my thoughts. The critical voice is relentless and I'm afraid of it. I avoid mirrors because that is when it comes out, that I have recognized. T wants me to become more aware. I don't know how to do that.
#9
NSC - Negative Self-Concept / critical voices
August 31, 2016, 02:11:52 PM
Is the inner critic the critical voices one hears? Are they thoughts or voices? how can you tell? what do you do about it? thanks.

(moderator edit: Formatting edit. (cleared the 'empty spaces' (returns), not the content of the post itself) )
#10
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: I have C-PTSD
August 25, 2016, 09:52:36 PM
Thank you three roses, and Dutch uncle. thanks for the forum link on the book. I'm on chapter two this week,
#11
Please Introduce Yourself Here / I have C-PTSD
August 24, 2016, 06:24:39 PM
I've been seeing a trauma T for the past 17 months. working thru coping with trauma related dissociation at the moment. happy to find this forum.