Messages

It's amazing what a little kindness will do for us. Basically we are starving for it as your post highlights. I am sorry you didn't have anyone in your corner. Here we all get it so you have a community now     

Good to meet you too Ran, welcome to Out of the Storm  I hope you will find being here helpful and supportive.

Trigger warnings are for when a member goes into a bit of detail that they think might be triggering for other members. We don't always know what will/won't be a trigger so just do your best and if you have questions just PM me. It's the overly graphic details we try and avoid here because obviously that will be triggering for many.  I hope this helps.

Kizzie

Good grief, what an experience with that therapist! Just goes to show you that many are NOT trained to deal effectively with CPTSD yet and that there is always a bottom third of a class of graduates from any program. At the very least they should have referred you to a colleague or provided you with names of other therapists to contact.

You could write a letter of complaint to their professional association if you're up to doing that (scary I know). Reporting does let the regulatory folks know there may be a problem with one of their members.

I am so sorry for what you went through Saluki    You of course did not deserve any of that.  It's especially hard when it's someone like our parents who were supposed to love and protect us so hating your M, I get it.

If you don't mind me asking, what happened to the paedo you told the police about?

I sometimes wonder if/wish that the more we come out as survivors of parental abuse/neglect, the more courts will be open to holding them accountable for past abuses/neglect There are so many of us who are coming together and speaking up now that it may be feasible for survivors to take their parents to court if we choose to do so.   

It is interesting Erec and I hope we see more research into the physical impacts of CPTSD in general.  There's so much more healthcare needs to know and be able to treat when it comes to us.

Hey Erec, I suffer from psoriasis although mine doesn't seem to be as reactive as yours. My GP sent me to a dermatology clinic for UV treatments (light therapy). I was going 3 times/week and now I'm down to 1/week which tells you how effective it is. I also have a prescription spray for if I'm away and or sick and can't get to light therapy for a bit.   

Here in Canada the treatments are covered except for a co-pay of $20/month which makes it very affordable. All you do is stand in a both for 1 few minutes and you're done. (NK, my clinic has a UV light machine that is just for hands so there may be something like that where you live)

Anyway, just a thought but perhaps if you try light therapy the inflammatory response will calm over time like mine did. 

Hey trying, are there protocols in place in the group home for situations like you've described? Can you ask for a meeting with staff to explain the problem? I wonder too if there's a possibility of a staff facilitated meeting with the person that's scaring you to discuss how you feel they've been behaving in your eyes and why? It seems to me like it should be a must that staff help group members with appropriate behaviour.

Totally understandable why this has been so anxiety and fear provoking for you given your trauma history

[good on you for trying]

Hey Beauty, just had the thought as I re-read your post that it's possible your friend has a trauma background herself.  If that's the case it may be the reason she did not respond appropriately to you reaching out. I know you emailed and said you were sorry and then crickets, but maybe an email to her explaining that you have CPTSD, relationships are really hard for you, and you've been struggling with all of that for a long while might be an olive branch she can understand?  If still no reply then I think maybe she's not the healthiest person to be seeking a relationship with as you touched on in your post.

Another thought I had was good on you for trying at least. While I know what happened has set you back maybe if you can mull over the thought that it was just a one off reaction rather than representative of everyone, you can look for and find a friend or friends who are healthy and stable?

Just my thoughts of course.

Good to hear about your psychotherapist and hopefully you will find a psychiatrist who does know about CPTSD.

I hadn't heard of DeepL before but it seems quite useful. 

Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Erec 

Your English is great so I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sorry that so far you haven't had much help from therapy. Here in Canada psychiatrists are like gold and when you do manage to connect with one they mainly deal with medications. I see that there are lots of psychologists in Italy and you can search for one here - https://www.therapyroute.com/therapists/italy/1. They can't prescribe medication like psychiatrists can, but some  are likely to have at least some training about trauma.  It's still a bit of a hunt in some countries (for professionals trained in complex trauma), but they are out there.

In the meantime, I hope being here and sharing about your trauma will help you to feel less alone. Many of us have found that it is a relief to be a part of a community that 'gets it' and I hope that's true for you.

 

Kizzie 

[defending]

Some time back Armee shared a link to an article "The Myth of Mutual Domestic Violence" (MDV) that I think belongs here (and in other sub-sections) as it validates for us as survivors that when we fight back we are not initiating DV or are we trying to dominate or control another, we are defending ourselves. This perspective is really helpful if/when your abuser (or their lawyer if you're in court) accuses you of MDV.  If you know how to fight back about fighting back you will be better prepared and not susceptible to this erroneous argument. 

Other links:

- https://www.goodrx.com/well-being/relationships/is-mutual-abuse-real
- https://www.thehotline.org/resources/mutual-abuse-its-not-real/

[defending]

Some time back Armee shared a link to an article "The Myth of Mutual Domestic Violence" (MDV) that I think belongs here (and in other sub-sections) as it validates for us as survivors that when we fight back we are not initiating DV or are we trying to dominate or control another, we are defending ourselves. This perspective is really helpful if/when your abuser (or their lawyer if you're in court) accuses you of MDV.  If you know how to fight back about fighting back you will be better prepared and not susceptible to this erroneous argument. 

Other links:

- https://www.goodrx.com/well-being/relationships/is-mutual-abuse-real
- https://www.thehotline.org/resources/mutual-abuse-its-not-real/
-

Hi EB and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm 

It sounds like you doing well in recovery and managed to find a great therapist - bravo! I hope being here, sharing with other members and reading their posts will help you feel you have peers who 'get it'. That's such a good feeling IMO given so many of us feel we are outsiders or are different from everyone else. Plus, it helps I find to understand we were injured at the hands of someone else versus that we are disordered or broken in some way.

You're not alone with your CPTSD here   

Get some more rest and feel better soon BB!   

They are gorgeous!