Thanks for welcoming and resources. Interestingly I had found Richard Gannon Spartan life coach before - I found that I had subscribed to his channel but had not followed up much. I also looked into Pete Walker after first coming across this site.
Here is the knee-jerk reaction I had from Pete Walker: he emphasized the emphasis on people whose cptsd comes from childhood. I know this is a great need - imagine feeling emotionally trapped as a child in the crazyness of a PD parent. The problem is, that was not my situation - it was my ex-wife's. And all things considered, i think she came through it pretty well - but there were definitely lingering effects that only I was privy to. Also, it left her particularly helpless as a mother and "acted up" under stress (which is not uncommon with 3 young kids at home). The inability of any folks - friends, therapists, et. al. - to recognize and understand what I was dealing with is - I believe - what traumatized me. Sometimes I still think about the craziness and how no one understood and just feel like giving up. i know I gotta work through it and let go etc, but ironically i think my generally resilient character made the negative impact on my psyche even greater. I weathered it longer than most could - then when my world crashed around me I had no energy or motivation left ("Why bother?" remains my subconscious creed). Wanting to do right by my kids was all that kept me going (just barely). And I had already given up hope on anyone understanding what I was going thru (and why should it matter I told myself, but for some reason I thought it was important to have my experience validated).
Anyways, thanks for the welcome.
Here is the knee-jerk reaction I had from Pete Walker: he emphasized the emphasis on people whose cptsd comes from childhood. I know this is a great need - imagine feeling emotionally trapped as a child in the crazyness of a PD parent. The problem is, that was not my situation - it was my ex-wife's. And all things considered, i think she came through it pretty well - but there were definitely lingering effects that only I was privy to. Also, it left her particularly helpless as a mother and "acted up" under stress (which is not uncommon with 3 young kids at home). The inability of any folks - friends, therapists, et. al. - to recognize and understand what I was dealing with is - I believe - what traumatized me. Sometimes I still think about the craziness and how no one understood and just feel like giving up. i know I gotta work through it and let go etc, but ironically i think my generally resilient character made the negative impact on my psyche even greater. I weathered it longer than most could - then when my world crashed around me I had no energy or motivation left ("Why bother?" remains my subconscious creed). Wanting to do right by my kids was all that kept me going (just barely). And I had already given up hope on anyone understanding what I was going thru (and why should it matter I told myself, but for some reason I thought it was important to have my experience validated).
Anyways, thanks for the welcome.