I find it very overwhelming to try to sum up who I am and how I got here in just a short blurb; somedays I see it clearly and others it's just a series of flashes. The feelings that come back can knock me off my feet.
I'll be 43 soon but I feel I've lived most of my life stuck in a fog, just surviving. It was only a few years ago that I caught real sight of the things around me, I am still struggling to free myself completely from the claws. I battle with depression, anxiety, low self worth and an intense fear of abandonment . I have issues with trust and avoid meeting people.
Growing up, my childhood was robbed from me; most of my memories are nonexistent. I watched for years how the byproduct of addiction led to the abuse and neglect of my mother. One day I cried for him to stop; but my show of fear made him aware of my presence. I never told her.
And the cycle continued even when I thought I had found rescue.
I'm not sure how I was given the strength to face the years that followed, with the challenges put before me and poor choices that I made. I had no concept of good choices. It was all kept hidden; so well, in fact, that when I tore the pretty paper and ribbon that hid it, no one believed it to be true.
I was devastated that when just a small edge of the ugliness was revealed how fast those I thought were friends vanished, leaving just one. One who I know faces his own storm.
For me, for my kids and for my friend I come here hoping to find a safe place that helps builds strength and encourages hope in a new tomorrow.
I'll be 43 soon but I feel I've lived most of my life stuck in a fog, just surviving. It was only a few years ago that I caught real sight of the things around me, I am still struggling to free myself completely from the claws. I battle with depression, anxiety, low self worth and an intense fear of abandonment . I have issues with trust and avoid meeting people.
Growing up, my childhood was robbed from me; most of my memories are nonexistent. I watched for years how the byproduct of addiction led to the abuse and neglect of my mother. One day I cried for him to stop; but my show of fear made him aware of my presence. I never told her.
And the cycle continued even when I thought I had found rescue.
I'm not sure how I was given the strength to face the years that followed, with the challenges put before me and poor choices that I made. I had no concept of good choices. It was all kept hidden; so well, in fact, that when I tore the pretty paper and ribbon that hid it, no one believed it to be true.
I was devastated that when just a small edge of the ugliness was revealed how fast those I thought were friends vanished, leaving just one. One who I know faces his own storm.
For me, for my kids and for my friend I come here hoping to find a safe place that helps builds strength and encourages hope in a new tomorrow.