Thanks! I agree, I think I am setting that time aside to relax and if someone disrupts it, I do get really upset. The same goes for when I'm watching TV and my room mates come home, they want to talk to me about what I'm watching, and it then pulls my focus from the show. Cause I loose focus easily too.....
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#1
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Re: An emotional trigger from...a dog
October 19, 2016, 02:59:30 AM #2
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / An emotional trigger from...a dog
October 19, 2016, 02:21:05 AM
One minute, I tell myself that I am going to relax and watch some TV, or read a book. And then, my housemate's puppy comes up onto the couch with me and starts playing, or wants to lie next to me. Sometimes he licks my hand uncontrollably.
And I get this sudden wave of anger. I want to push him away, or at the very least force him to stop licking my hand. Any time he licks it, it triggers something in me, and I get this sudden rush of anger again.
I never assumed it would be some sort of trigger for me. I grew up with a puppy all the way until he died of old age, but he was always a good dog. I was never attacked by a pet or animal of any kind.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? is it an intimacy issue? maybe that he is trying to show affection and I'm rejecting it? Most of the time I wish he would just stop so I could keep watching TV....
And I get this sudden wave of anger. I want to push him away, or at the very least force him to stop licking my hand. Any time he licks it, it triggers something in me, and I get this sudden rush of anger again.
I never assumed it would be some sort of trigger for me. I grew up with a puppy all the way until he died of old age, but he was always a good dog. I was never attacked by a pet or animal of any kind.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? is it an intimacy issue? maybe that he is trying to show affection and I'm rejecting it? Most of the time I wish he would just stop so I could keep watching TV....
#3
General Discussion / Re: Honestly, how do people function?
October 15, 2016, 08:05:07 PM
Hey there!
For me, I lived with my emotionally abusive mother for three years by myself as a teen. It was just the two of us, and thanks to a very bitter divorce between her and my dad, it sunk her into a deep, deep depression, requiring me to run errands for her and 'prove' I care for her.
While it may not have been healthy, I survived those three years through video games. I had to sit through the nagging still, but the games gave me a release. Maybe picking up a hobby would help? Whether it be video games, YouTube videos, some forms of entertainment.
If you can get out, do it. But until you can, finding that escape when you can may help your sanity.
For me, I lived with my emotionally abusive mother for three years by myself as a teen. It was just the two of us, and thanks to a very bitter divorce between her and my dad, it sunk her into a deep, deep depression, requiring me to run errands for her and 'prove' I care for her.
While it may not have been healthy, I survived those three years through video games. I had to sit through the nagging still, but the games gave me a release. Maybe picking up a hobby would help? Whether it be video games, YouTube videos, some forms of entertainment.
If you can get out, do it. But until you can, finding that escape when you can may help your sanity.
#4
General Discussion / New to CPTSD
October 14, 2016, 05:29:10 AM
Hi all!
Not sure where to begin or what to say.... I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD or any certain disorder, but I just began therapy and they put me through a battery of test questions. after about an hour, one flag that popped up was PTSD, so we talked a few minutes about that.
Since then, I've researched more and discovered CPTSD, which explains everything that has been happening in my life. I've since learned to cope with many of the struggles, and now I feel I have a long way to back-pedal and rightly adjust my mind. I've always felt distant from others, never many friends, ashamed of near everything I do, and very fearful of spending any time with my mother, the source of my emotional abuse. I also suffer from anxiety and have been seen as a workaholic my entire life.
I have cut ties with her since, and haven't spoken to her for a few years now, though she still tries to get in touch. the attempts are getting less and less frequent, last one being 6 months now.
I hope to spend some time with you all and learn more about this.
Not sure where to begin or what to say.... I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD or any certain disorder, but I just began therapy and they put me through a battery of test questions. after about an hour, one flag that popped up was PTSD, so we talked a few minutes about that.
Since then, I've researched more and discovered CPTSD, which explains everything that has been happening in my life. I've since learned to cope with many of the struggles, and now I feel I have a long way to back-pedal and rightly adjust my mind. I've always felt distant from others, never many friends, ashamed of near everything I do, and very fearful of spending any time with my mother, the source of my emotional abuse. I also suffer from anxiety and have been seen as a workaholic my entire life.
I have cut ties with her since, and haven't spoken to her for a few years now, though she still tries to get in touch. the attempts are getting less and less frequent, last one being 6 months now.
I hope to spend some time with you all and learn more about this.
#5
General Discussion / Re: Not taking validation well? Possible object constancy issue?
October 14, 2016, 05:16:37 AM
Hi there!
I'm REALLY new to this site (just signed up now), but wanted to reach out and say that I feel the same way (many, many times...) I do well in my professional life: get my work done, train the new supervisors, early for meetings, observant, etc. and people say how much they appreciate having me around. I've had to force myself to say "thank you" to that, cause in the past I would usually dismiss it with "just doing what I was asked to do." Even after saying Thank You, minutes later I'm 'certain' they're not appreciative of it. And my evidence is that they're off working on their own things or laughing with other friends.
C-PTSD is very new to me and I'm learning all I can about it. Recently I picked up Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. In it, he explains that our first two years of life require the unconditional love of a parent, 24/7. If we don't get that, then we're stuck feeling unsafe, and it carries with us into our adult life.
Thus, whenever I see myself doing that, I think I deep down want them to appreciate what I do, but to ALWAYS appreciate it, 24/7. when I see them go back to their work and forget about me, it upsets me terribly.
Hopefully this helps.
I'm REALLY new to this site (just signed up now), but wanted to reach out and say that I feel the same way (many, many times...) I do well in my professional life: get my work done, train the new supervisors, early for meetings, observant, etc. and people say how much they appreciate having me around. I've had to force myself to say "thank you" to that, cause in the past I would usually dismiss it with "just doing what I was asked to do." Even after saying Thank You, minutes later I'm 'certain' they're not appreciative of it. And my evidence is that they're off working on their own things or laughing with other friends.
C-PTSD is very new to me and I'm learning all I can about it. Recently I picked up Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. In it, he explains that our first two years of life require the unconditional love of a parent, 24/7. If we don't get that, then we're stuck feeling unsafe, and it carries with us into our adult life.
Thus, whenever I see myself doing that, I think I deep down want them to appreciate what I do, but to ALWAYS appreciate it, 24/7. when I see them go back to their work and forget about me, it upsets me terribly.
Hopefully this helps.
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