Hello 
After years of 'searching' for answers, Friday was a bit of an odd day... good old Facebook literally 'threw' two articles at me that successively made me go "OM-flippin'-G", and in essence led me here. The first was on C-PTSD - I'd looked at PTSD before, but it didn't quite 'fit' - and the second on parents (in my case mother) with NPD... suddenly my entire childhood and life since made sense. But after a weekend of more "OMG-ing" as I read and completely related to it all, I've woken up on Monday morning asking "OK, so what happens now??"
In essence, what I'm asking is armed with this new information (labels??), how do I now go about recovering from this and focusing on the future life that I'm so desperate to create?? There's soooooooo much information out there, I honestly don't know where to start... is there a 12-step programme or something??
Sorry, don't mean to be cheeky honestly, but what should I do first??!!
It also worries me a bit that much of what I've read refers to essential support from family and friends, but I don't have either... this is actually making me panic because I feel like it's saying I'll never recover unless I have these.
I have approached the local 'talking therapy' service, but they don't seem keen on my self-diagnosis (thanks!) and I'm worried they won't help... no one I've ever met seems to really understand the complexity of this situation* so they just seem to back off and 'deal with' later stuff that - for me - is a direct result of my childhood and not an issue in it's own right... I feel like the 'childhood' needs to be tackled directly if anything is going to change.
*For the (joys of complexity!) record, I was adopted but by an emotionally abusive (NPD) mother - so two 'layers' already - and now have no more than about a day's worth of memories of my childhood (all my dad and all away from the house/her), and have struggled to retain many of my adult memories too, so again have had counsellors not really know how to deal with things I can't remember (only emotions). My adoptive dad died last year and she 'kicked off' again, hence the 'management strategies' I've had in place for 30 years failing miserably, and all this becoming a emotional crisis which is now completely overwhelming.
In short, I want this over and to have a life... so honestly, all advice on where to start is VERY much welcome and appreciated.
Elen xx
After years of 'searching' for answers, Friday was a bit of an odd day... good old Facebook literally 'threw' two articles at me that successively made me go "OM-flippin'-G", and in essence led me here. The first was on C-PTSD - I'd looked at PTSD before, but it didn't quite 'fit' - and the second on parents (in my case mother) with NPD... suddenly my entire childhood and life since made sense. But after a weekend of more "OMG-ing" as I read and completely related to it all, I've woken up on Monday morning asking "OK, so what happens now??"In essence, what I'm asking is armed with this new information (labels??), how do I now go about recovering from this and focusing on the future life that I'm so desperate to create?? There's soooooooo much information out there, I honestly don't know where to start... is there a 12-step programme or something??
Sorry, don't mean to be cheeky honestly, but what should I do first??!!It also worries me a bit that much of what I've read refers to essential support from family and friends, but I don't have either... this is actually making me panic because I feel like it's saying I'll never recover unless I have these.
I have approached the local 'talking therapy' service, but they don't seem keen on my self-diagnosis (thanks!) and I'm worried they won't help... no one I've ever met seems to really understand the complexity of this situation* so they just seem to back off and 'deal with' later stuff that - for me - is a direct result of my childhood and not an issue in it's own right... I feel like the 'childhood' needs to be tackled directly if anything is going to change.*For the (joys of complexity!) record, I was adopted but by an emotionally abusive (NPD) mother - so two 'layers' already - and now have no more than about a day's worth of memories of my childhood (all my dad and all away from the house/her), and have struggled to retain many of my adult memories too, so again have had counsellors not really know how to deal with things I can't remember (only emotions). My adoptive dad died last year and she 'kicked off' again, hence the 'management strategies' I've had in place for 30 years failing miserably, and all this becoming a emotional crisis which is now completely overwhelming.
In short, I want this over and to have a life... so honestly, all advice on where to start is VERY much welcome and appreciated.
Elen xx