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When you said your parents told you not to worry about the bullies teasing you, because you "weren't gay", I remembered my parents did the same to me.

I'm bisexual and received nasty feedback from it. Your queerness is to be celebrated...it's something wonderful and delightful, pure and unadulterated that no one can take from you at the end of the day.

However, somewhere I read an article that described them as an "emotional hijacking" and I thought that phrase was really helpful since it's like your emotions get hijacked by the past. 

That's a really great way to put it. I feel like I'm turning into the Hulk, if I had to be honest. I get this rush of rage and sometimes it goes quickly, other times it stays. I can't control when it comes and goes, but I know it doesn't feel very awesome.

A bit of background: I've been with my husband for almost 2 years now. I met my stepson when he was 20 months old, now he's 3.5 years. He and I get along super well and we love each other a ton, but sometimes being a parent really triggers some mean and nasty aspects of myself that I wasn't anticipating.

My stepson's mother and father are super attentive to his needs and emotions, and in true toddler fashion, he used to treat them pretty poorly. This would make me nearly sick seeing it....it's almost like something deep inside of me started bubbling. Why should he get such great parents? It felt like he didn't deserve them. I felt like I couldn't hold up to the expectation of being a good parent because I had never HAD good parents.

I went to therapy for a bit and it helped, but sometimes it hits me hard. I can hardly handle any crying he does. I can't handle him being noisy. Growing up I had to stop my siblings from crying and being noisy, in fear of my parents, but I'm scared that I'M the bad parent now.

I don't know what to do, really. Some days are great and others are *. We have him every other week, but it feels like I'll never get out of that tunnel. I'm so tired from it 

*Possible trigger

The way your brain processes information can obscure a lot of the actual trauma itself. I had nightmares of sexual assault for years, even though I never had been...I guess that feeling of helplessness and victimization that goes along with other forms of trauma presents itself in some literal and not so literal ways.

My stomach is such a mess! I was diagnosed with GERD, but the weight I gained back from my struggle with anorexia really put my gut in a serious bind.

Eating disorders...not even once.

I definitely wouldn't say you're a loser, look at how much you've already overcome! I know that when you look at everything that's been piled on your plate, it can be overwhelming and exhausting and make you feel weak. Reaching out for help and understanding is a wonderful first step.

I'm happy to have found a place where I can start to recover from the lifelong abuse and neglect I suffered at the hands of my family. I'll probably end up convincing my husband to join as well, since he also struggles with the diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD by my therapist. Because of the nature of the issues I was exposed to, I'm now a 20 year old woman with the health issues of a 50 year old woman. Whether directly or indirectly, I'm infertile, have joint hypermobility and circulation issues that cause great pain, severe back pain, pelvic floor dysfunction, and extreme phobias that hinder my quality of life (for example, I can't drive a car).

I'm hoping, one day, I might be able to drive a car or maybe roll out of bed without limping we'll see!