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its horrible I know, yes Dee is right, nice soft music, nice aromas etc. Sometimes keeping a journal by the side of my bed helps. I Just write down my fears about going to sleep and having those awful nightmares. It kind of gets the anxiety out there rather than in my head. Help you manage to get the rest and peace you deserve 

thank you all for your messages xx the emotional flashbacks are the worse , especially the fear and anxiety , praying that they start to calm down , feel as though I am back there all those decades ago , feel as though I am dying , so scary . Sending healing hugs to you all x

Hi all, Just need to share a little of my story. I have recently received a decision from the Crown Prosecution Service as to whether to charge my historical childhood sexual abuser. After 20 months of a police investigation it has been decided that they are unable to charge, mainly due to the evidence of his ex wife, in which she lied through her teeth to cover herself and in the process got him off the hook. Also the scum emigrated to Australia so he could never be questioned due to extradition law. However I have been informed that the Australian Police have a duty to safeguard the children around him and his family will be interviewed, he however will not. The fact that this is happening has given me peace of mind as the safety of children from this scum has been a huge priority to me.
I guess I just need to off load to people who truly understand what it means to have to endure CPTSD. Although there has been a positive outcome in terms of protecting other kids, my symptoms are full blown at the moment. The emotional pain feels unbearable. I have great support from the NHS but no-one can really "get it" unless they have been through abuse themselves. Just need to connect and reach out to others out there . Love and healing to you all xx
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